Just went with DH to pick up our DS from creche. As we were getting into our car, I gears a little shout & looking into the car beside us, saw the little baby (about 8 months old) of another mother, whose child attends creche. She was just sitting in her seat & responded to my smile and seemed happy & relaxed. We all know this is wrong, incredibly dangerous & seriously illegal. We've all heard the terrible stories of babies perishing in hot weather etc. I said to my husband that I wanted to wait until the mother came out and back to her baby. At this, he got really (strangely) agitated & stressfully asked me to 'please get into the fucking car'. My DH & I do not speak to one another like this & I'm appalled that he spoke to me, like that, in front of my almost 3 year old.
He was so agitated & strange that I got into the car as opposed to waiting with the baby as I wanted to. I said I felt very uncomfortable about leaving her & he said that I need to report her & take her number plate in that case, not approach her outside creche & create a 'situation'.
- I had no intention of losing the plot with her, rather remind her that this is not OK & that her dd was shouting & I suppose somewhat shame her into thinking twice the next time.
- I was NOT happy with how my DH spoke to me & calmly said so. He replied that he didn't want me acting vigilante, basically.
I reminded him that I am responsible for my own behavior & it's not within his control to ask me to do, or not behave however I decide to, as I'm an independent adult. Furthermore, I told him his tone & language us not acceptable & I will not allow him to speak to me like that. I would have liked to discuss it more but DS was getting a little upset & picking up on vibes. He has gone to paint our nursery furniture now & I'm with DS who is happily having his Friday evening TV time. I feel so uncomfortable at the fact that I left a baby locked in a car and at how DH spoke to me. This is VERY out of character for him though none the less acceptable. I'd be so embarrassed to relay this exchange to my friends. I am 36 was pregnant, incase that's relevant & the other mother's older child had downs syndrome, which I think made my DH particularly worried about me saying something to her.
I will discuss this more with him when DS is sleeping but I feel absolutely awful about both incidents now. I know I should have waited with the baby. Feel horrible.