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Is size important?

(140 Posts)
advicegratefullyrecieved Sat 22-Sep-12 11:53:55

I expect I will take a slamming for this but here goes. I have been dating a new man for a while and last night things got a bit heavier than normal and I discovered that he's penis is really small. I mean less than 3 inches and not very thick. I've dated someone before who was small and it played a major part in our breaking up because when we had sex I never felt it.

Is this something that can ne gotten over?

CogitoErgoSometimes Sat 22-Sep-12 11:57:44

If you're with a skilled, creative, considerate lover that can bring you to orgasm in ways other than penetration, size doesn't matter. If your lover is selfish, lazy or unimaginative and very small, it's going to be a disaster.

fuckadoodlepoopoo Sat 22-Sep-12 12:02:49

For me it would always be unfulfilling because i would never be satisfied without that full up feeling, no matter how many orgasms. When Im horny that's what i really want and dildos just are not the same.

Are you sure he was properly relaxed and erect? I remember my dhs penis seeming much bigger the second time for some reason. All i can think is that it was either him holding back a bit or the position he was sitting in when i first got hold of it.

BollocksToKarma Sat 22-Sep-12 12:16:06

Deal breaker for me I'm afraid.

tiredofwaitingforitalltochange Sat 22-Sep-12 12:23:35

sad Feel really sorry for him that you are posting this. Also sorry for you, because it's obviously an issue and disappointing if you really like him. If you weren't able to get past this with a previous partner you probably won't be again.

Hoping he finds someone who doesn't feel as you do.

Thumbwitch Sat 22-Sep-12 12:25:59

Depends how inventive he is. But you do need to have some kind of size compatibility otherwise inventive can get boring, amazingly!

ObscuredByClouds Sat 22-Sep-12 12:26:25

Yes, I'm afraid size does matter afaic. I like a big one, small ones just don't cut it for me. Sorry sad

AKissIsNotAContract Sat 22-Sep-12 12:27:59

What cogito said^^

I suppose the size of your fanny also plays a part.

Mydogsleepsonthebed Sat 22-Sep-12 12:29:36

I feel sad for your partner. That all he's being judged on is the size of his dick.

picnicbasketcase Sat 22-Sep-12 12:31:28

Depends on what he's like otherwise, and at doing other stuff in bed I suppose, but shallow as it sounds I would find it off putting.

Viking1 Sat 22-Sep-12 12:33:08

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ObscuredByClouds Sat 22-Sep-12 12:34:24

mydogsleeps I do agree with you, but I know I couldn't have a LTR with someone 'small' because it just doesn't fulfil me in the way I need.

worldcitizen Sat 22-Sep-12 12:49:17

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

wonderingwendy Sat 22-Sep-12 12:55:56

yes it does matter - and quite frankly after having 3 kids you need girth - do you have kids advice ?
my dh is about 5 inches and this is too small for me - barely feel it tbh
ive only ever had 2 sexual partners and my first was large at 9 inches ,what i wouldnt give for that now !

izzyizin Sat 22-Sep-12 12:59:39

Size matters to me. I get off on serious rocks - the more carats the better.

Is this thread related to one about a familiar Friday night topic which appeared in the early hours and seems to have vanished, due no doubt to it having been posted after midnight when attention is again turned to more wholesome activities?

GobblersKnob Sat 22-Sep-12 13:00:36

I have had a parner who was very small and frankly it didn't bother me. What put me off was that he was actually a massive cock.

If he is lovely and you are both creative I don't see why it has to be a problem, but it is such a personal thing that I really don't think it matter a jot what we all think, you need to do some thinking about what is important to you.

OhEmGee24 Sat 22-Sep-12 13:03:09

My boyfriend isn't huge but I'm not baggy either grin. We fit perfectly together. I think it's sad a potentially great relationship is being questioned over penis size. What if he thought "Hmm not sure about this one her boobs are too small/big".

worldcitizen Sat 22-Sep-12 13:06:52

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ObscuredByClouds Sat 22-Sep-12 13:11:34

But some men do go for boobs/bum. It's preference innit?!

I'm not baggy either due to having c-sections (lol) but a teeny peeny just would not fulfil me. I'm not talking a little under average, I'm talking about very small. I dated a guy years and years ago who was only 3" when erect. He was a lovely bloke but it would never have worked long term for us.

Opentooffers Sat 22-Sep-12 13:16:45

Less than 3 inches erect sounds unfortunate. I've found it only counts when fully erect as smaller ones often grow bigger than larger soft ones.
The older I get, the less size seems to be as important as rigidity, some on the larger side of average can be less fulfilling than smaller firmer ones. Then there is the man's ability to exercise control over it.
There's a band of average and either side - too small or too large - is not the best (not sure if it would be a deal-breaker, depends on other things).
As mentioned, size of woman and compatibility is also a factor. I have been told that vaginas are all different too - sometimes height and frame related as well as childbirth - though I've only noticed an improvement there after one ;-)

worldcitizen Sat 22-Sep-12 13:19:52

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Opentooffers Sat 22-Sep-12 13:24:09

If it's too small or too soft to use in certain positions, this is a disappointment. Just a fact of life really, nothing shallow or otherwise about it :-)

adrastea Sat 22-Sep-12 13:29:12

Some people just don't fit optimally, and that can be very unfortunate - especially as it's something that men (and women) can't do much about.

I think it's sad a potentially great relationship is being questioned over penis size. What if he thought "Hmm not sure about this one her boobs are too small/big".
But OhEmGee24, breast size doesn't actually affect the physical mechanics of sex.

If you're with a skilled, creative, considerate lover that can bring you to orgasm in ways other than penetration, size doesn't matter.
Cogito To some people, enjoying sex without penetration is sufficient, and that's great. But it's also OK for other women to say 'Actually, for me, penetration does matter'

Opentooffers Sat 22-Sep-12 13:33:57

I've asked men -not shy of finding out how it is from their point of view lol. Seems there is a difference noticed by some men after partners have had multiple births (I do not know weather this is always the case).
The flip side is that I've noticed that it's more common that over 40's males are not as firm ( never came across this in my younger days). Either sex can change in their abilities for various reasons as they age - but then experience improves inventiveness - swings and roundabouts really

worldcitizen Sat 22-Sep-12 13:34:37

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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