Is size important?

[advicegratefullyrecieved]

I expect I will take a slamming for this but here goes. I have been dating a new man for a while and last night things got a bit heavier than normal and I discovered that he's penis is really small. I mean less than 3 inches and not very thick. I've dated someone before who was small and it played a major part in our breaking up because when we had sex I never felt it.

Is this something that can ne gotten over?

open

that link made me laugh worldcitizen my dh is from there is yours ?

Deal breaker for me. Ex was pencil thin. I've never thought I'd actually say "are you in yet?"

Oh and I think it is a very good idea to simply have different sizes available, and not just one-fits-all. Too many accidents could happen.

It is very hard to get past your gut reactions on this sort of thing. The main thingis to be honest with yourself and to find a way to let him down without being nasty.

I once had a one night stand with a guy who was extremely small. I found it very offputting...although I was too polite to say so and we were already undressed and kissing and things were heated by the time I realised just how tiny it was. It wasnt a pleasurable experience for me... And there is no point people shouting 'bucket fanny' - I was actually a petite young thing with no kids at that point - it just didnt feel good and visually, it didnt turn me on.

A few years kater I was dating a guy and realisedin the course of a kissing session ne evening that he was tiny. I made my excuses a few days later and left it at that. I dont see it as shallow. I like a well endowed man for myriad reasons. It is a deal breaker for me.

All works better than ever, lucky I got away with it and the surgeon must of done a good internal job - not mad enough to try that one again though.

Poor man :(

Imagine if he was posting on blokes' forum wondering about breaking up with a new partner because she has very small breasts and they leave him unsatisfied.

for me it matters, i guess it depends how important sex is to you?
my ex did not fulfill me, i never felt fully satisfied and when you have been before its disappointing. i never told him as that would be unfair. his ex wife did though. How awful for him.. what are you going to do?

it just didnt feel good and visually, it didnt turn me on.

Exactly, women have the right to decide what's working for them. They know themselves, their feelings and what they can live with and what not.

Ariel I cannot say why, but I feel breast are not so comparable, but maybe if they are, I actually would have understanding for him. It would depend on how handled and that his behaviour wouldn't be nasty and rude.

i dont think you can compare it to the size of a womans breasts. it is physical and if you cant feel it then the sex isnt really satisfying, even trying other things wasnt a substitute for me :-(
I was quite depressed about it in fact, awful for him as there was nothing he could do about it. But ultimately i couldnt continue in the relationship, this being one factor how there were lots of other issues too

One shouldn't be ashamed or flamed for how he or she is feeling. Sex and romantic relationships shouldn't be a chore or make you have bad feelings or feel pressurised. if you're not turned on and not satisfied, well then you're not. How to not put the other person down is the key. What else could you do?

Well I think it could be on a similar footing. You get men who are "boob men" and you get women for whom penetrative sex is the major factor in their sex lives. And you get men who are not bothered about very small breasts, and you get women who can be satisfied in other ways.

Takes all sorts and all that.

I think the boob or bum men is a different thing, honestly.

I also can be satisfied in other ways as I believe most if not all other women.

No, take the boob or bum men thing to a side, and consider a man who would happily be in relationship without satisfactory or fulfilling penetrative sex?!

Point taken. I don't suppose there are many :)

open you are probably one of many who said never again.

it is a different thing boobs are not used in penetrative sex
sex is not just for the men to enjoy why shouldnt we want more ?

why shouldnt we want more ?

Well yes, why shouldn't we want more, and there's no actual reason by you should not want more I suppose, but the thing is, this man is stuck with what nature has seen fit to give him. It's not like he is choosing to be crap in bed because he is a selfish or unimaginative lover. Imagine saying to him: "I am a modern woman, why shouldn't I demand more than you are able to give?" and seeing him crumble. He imagined that this was what women thought of him, and there you are confirming it.

I don't quite know what I am trying to say here, but these comments such as "It would be a deal breaker for me, I'm afraid," make me very sad for this man. He could be as nice, generous, kind, good looking as could be, and yet still for some women, the size of his penis would mean he couldn't find a partner he could keep.

He could be as nice, generous, kind, good looking as could be, and yet still for some women, the size of his penis would mean he couldn't find a partner he could keep.
It is sad, but as you said, it's for some women he wouldn't be right. That doesn't rule out all women. I'm happy with average or even slightly smaller than average, so I might be extremely happy with a partner whose size would be a deal breaker for other women.

There are women who don't mind how small so it's not the end of the world for these chaps. Good we all think differently

It is sad, it truly is.

"I am a modern woman, why shouldn't I demand more than you are able to give?" and seeing him crumble

I also could see him crumble. But not wanting something for yourself and then how you go about it or treat others are surely two different things. Op also seems to be putting some thought into this and it is not easy to deal with, me thinks?!

pleeeeeesssse still look like a grown man

That's my point really. No about of "pleeeeeease look like a grown man" is going to make his willy grow bigger is it? Just like any male entreaties to a flat chested woman to "pleeeeeeeeease, look like a grown woman" is going to change anything.

I know what I mean anyway I think.