Is size important?

[advicegratefullyrecieved]

I expect I will take a slamming for this but here goes. I have been dating a new man for a while and last night things got a bit heavier than normal and I discovered that he's penis is really small. I mean less than 3 inches and not very thick. I've dated someone before who was small and it played a major part in our breaking up because when we had sex I never felt it.

Is this something that can ne gotten over?

Worldcitizen, I could imagine that would seem offputting. Don't think I've experienced anything quite that diminished - poor lad!

And from what I gather, men do comment about women's vaginas and how they feel etc. and they do decide also if this is something they are happy with or not, and from what I hear it doesn't even have much to do with vaginal birth???? This is all hear-say though.

Yes is also a height, body frame, ethnicity factor.

I'm sorry if I upset anyone re my c-section comment, truly I am x

But women can rectify the bucket fanjo problem to a certain degree with Kegel excercises, can't they? So the penis would have to be really thin for them not to feel anything

Only get one life, may as well make it as happy and full-filling as possible and it's up to the individual to assess what counts.

As in, if your vagina muscles are strong, you can squeeze and then the problem of not v.thick penis is not such a big deal, I would imagine.

In answer to OP, depends how much you like him. I would think that if I fell madly in love and the guy could bring me to orgasm in other ways, I wouldn't care. There are dildos as well.

Did loads of Kegels - must of worked. Kegels during sex for a bit of interest.

I hear it doesn't even have much to do with vaginal birth

I have heard this too as a general point but it depends on how the delivery goes. FWIW I had two vaginal deliveries and had huge babies - it runs in my family. I'm proud that I delivered them myself and it was a profound experience I don't regret but that's very personal because we are all different and I would never, ever say anything rude about someone who'd had a C-section, whatever the reason for it.

Also I had major issues after delivery because of the size of my babies and a botched episiotomy and sex wasn't the same afterwards. It damaged my marriage and ruined my whole life for a while. I had surgery to sort things out. I was lucky enough to have the cash to do this privately, the NHS is a bit hit and miss for this kind of thing.

A minority of unlucky women have awful problems after vaginal delivery - just go on the health boards (where I had massive support) and you will see.

It's incredibly tactless to other MNers and pretty shameful to use words like 'baggy' to describe what happens to a woman's vagina after she has been through giving birth. I'm sure there are women on here who are pre-surgery, or don't qualify for surgery who find it very hurtful.

Not sure if possible to Kegel and orgasm at same time though. A certain relaxation required. I think some could probably be that small that it is still an issue

obscured I don't think you upset with your c-section comment, I then added mine as well as a response to this post My boyfriend isn't huge but I'm not baggy either

and then I added this as well 'it really sounds vile towards women who had vaginal births, sounds like some awful description of having a bucket or something along those lines'

Cross-posted, Obscured. Thanks for apologising :)

Thanks, worldcitizen

The things we risk when giving birth, so much can go wrong.

tiredofwaiting thanks for sharing. I am so sorry to hear that

Exactly open which makes men who then leave women on their own with little ones without much help, support and financial protection really arseholes, but that's a different thread.

Tiredofwaiting, I was fortunate, but I empathise. 11lb baby and 3rd degree tear -ouch!, would never have a vaginal birth ever again after that. Unlike many I still remember the pain.

Thanks, worldcitizen. It's fine now, but it wasn't for a long time and it's the worst, probably similar to how it feels for a man who's got a real hang up about being small, actually.

I really feel like one of the lucky ones because it's no longer an issue for me. Men with small penises sometimes resort to surgery but it's rarely successful and can be disastrous.

I think this is one of the reasons I feel sorry for the OP's guy. But I feel sorry for OP, too, because it's not her fault this doesn't work for her. As I said, we are all different.

Yeah, me too open. I stopped after the ten and a half pounder. When I was getting her out I heard a terrble sound like really loud referee's whistle, then I realised it was me making the sound. :)

*terrible

Size matters to me as i orgasm most of the time through penetration. Luckily for me my dp is quite big

I remember a moment where I felt a sting as the labia ripped right next to the clitoris - not painful compared to other ripping things which I will not go into. A sudden worry occurred to me at the time, as I wondered weather one could suffer clit damage in these instances too. Thankfully, was ok but I did wonder if it was going to knacker my future sex life.