namechange I feel your pain re family help. Re sleep issues I've found that the best thing to do, regardless of method, is to stick to it consistently. So I think when you wrote down what you wanted to do it did start to help but you've just been incredibly unlucky with the bug intervening. Also remember that all kinds of things can happen to make things difficult, and unfortunately we don't often have control over them. If there is a way of you and dh splitting the week or weekend so that each of you has time on their own to just sleep or whatever you need I think that might help you get through it; that certainly did for us.
Oh and we couldn't afford a sleep consultant and wanted to stick to responding to biological cues like you so we've based everything on what I've read on the child sleep science website - it's excellent because it covers all of the approaches and discusses biological capability plus different types of sleepers so it means you're able to apply it to your specific needs. I have a feeling it was you that posted about the site in the first place so thanks for that and hope I'm not telling you stuff you already know!
@NameChange30 just a thought, but when we are at baby massage it was run at our surgery by a lady who works in the HV team. She's not a HV but she specialises in things like massage, and also sleeping. Could it be worth speaking to your HV team and seeing if they have anyone like that who could help? Then it would be free and if it didn't work for you then you've not lost anything.
You've had such bad luck with the bug and everything, I hope you have some luck over the weekend.
I’ve reported the thread to have it moved - apologies!
Also wanted to say namechange, you could give the sleeplady a call and have a quick chat before deciding whether it would work for you or not. She is friendly and more than happy to have a chat.
purple yes!! Dread washing it. Takes twice as long to wash it getti g rid of all the hair that comes out. Still as thick and dry as it was while I was carry g the little bean.
Had it trimmed yesterday and my hairdresser notice how much was still falling out.
I get stressed washing it, I have a slight irrational phobia about wet hair touching my skin and if it goes between my toes 🤢
@name. Kwym. My mums dead as are both of df parents and only my dad about and he isn't really capable of looking after dd alone for long periods
I do have friends and dd has older siblings who adore her but Obv work but I do miss not having parents /dd gp
Agree to bavk to your plan. It went tits up due to bug and life. You have done so well with getting ds to learn to fall asleep without ricking and doing gentle retreat
All good here. Back from music. Dd in bed. Should sleep til 430 ish
Have bail lady coming round as at wedding tomorrow and broke 3 ffs
Thank so much to everyone for the sympathy and suggestions. I think you're right purple and coupester, it's probably time to make some enquiries with a sleep consultant. purple how much was the sleep lady? We could also try and make our own plan based on the Baby Sleep Science advice, as you did 100 (glad you've found it helpful!) but I will need some time and head space to do that. I'll talk to DH about the options, always helps to think aloud and talk it through. Also 100 thanks for the reminder to make sure DH and I both have time to sleep and rest, it's so important!
coupester I had no idea HVs might be able to put me in contact with a sleep expert, that would be great! Thanks for the suggestion, I will ask - not hugely optimistic but you never know! To answer your question about in-laws, DH and his family are French, and PILs live in France so can't help out unfortunately, although they would like to. They're actually around this weekend, not staying with us but will be here quite a bit, which is lovely but can also be tiring. I'm sure they will help out a bit though.
Hugh Good point. I have come to the conclusion that I need to ask my mum for help more! I'm terrible at asking, but I did ask on Tuesday - she said she had a commitment in the early afternoon but could come in the morning, and I turned her down because it's a long way to come just for an hour or two... We needed her in the afternoon/evening really so maybe I should have said that
purple Sorry you've had a cold, hope you can shift it soon. And yes my hair is falling out too. My hair is one of the things that's upsetting me at the moment, it looks terrible! I was supposed to have a long overdue haircut on Tuesday, and was really looking forward to it, but had to cancel because I was ill I've rescheduled for next Saturday but that feels like ages away!
Carol Hope DD fell asleep on the way to the cafe and you had a nice peaceful cuppa.
Oh I missed your post Blondes, very sorry to hear that your mum and PILs aren't around It certainly puts things in perspective when I'm complaining about mine
Do you mean nail lady?! Enjoy the wedding tomorrow!
To be fair we did have a plan as you said Blondes so maybe we should just go back to that... it's hard to follow sometimes when he is crying hard and won't settle, but we were making some progress. Just takes a bit of will power not to go for the easy option and feed him to get back to sleep more quickly!
Had difficulty with her afternoon nap as well, she eventually went to sleep 30 mins later than usual but then slept for over 2 hours and I had to wake her for her feed!!
She did really well with her food today, had all of it. She struggled with her formula today not had much all day then just over 7oz before bed as usual.
Oh she is interested in DS, it just wavers between genuine interest v showing him off to her friends (she has popped in to see us with two different friends recently!) and buying him presents And if we go out together she likes going off with him in the pushchair without checking with me or saying where she's going. It stresses me out when I don't know where they are - she is always breezy when she comes back to find me whereas I've been getting more and more annoyed! I did tell her to stop doing it quite recently and thinking about it, she has cooled off a bit since then. Maybe that's why
Anyway back to the sleeping, I've just reviewed my sleep log and things had just started to get significantly better when I became ill (we'd had two nights in a row when he slept for more than 5 hours without waking) and it's gone downhill again since then. So I think we probably just need to go back to what we were doing before I got ill. I suppose I'm feeling down today because I'm realising how much it set us back, AND I had to cancel my haircut - waaah!
Hope you all have a good night and a lovely weekend. I'm looking forward to some company and hopefully a bit of down time.
@purpleviolet1 I forgot to mention, re the hair loss, mine was still falling out excessively until very recently. I went to the docs (about something else) and mentioned it. I ended up having a blood test and it turned out I am/was folate and iron deficient. Since I've been taking iron and folic acid I don't think it falls out quite as much.
@Carolann8584 I'd be inclined to leave the df and wait until she wakes up, but that's easy for me to say! I still df, he still drinks all 5oz.
@NameChange30 if you're happy to do so then carry on with your plan. It sounds like you were making good progress and at a speed that suits you all. Good luck with it, hopefully it won't take too long to get back to where you were.
I hope you enjoy your time with PIL and I'm sure they'd be happy to help out. If you asked them, I'm sure they'd love to take DS for a walk or even just stay with him in another room while you have a nap. Don't be afraid to ask!
DD woke at 12:45 again so put dummy in while I went to make a bottle, she fell back to sleep. Gave her the bottle any way she had just over 4oz and is back snoozing.
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Enjoy the wedding tomorrow!
And if we go out together she likes going off with him in the pushchair without checking with me or saying where she's going. It stresses me out when I don't know where they are - she is always breezy when she comes back to find me whereas I've been getting more and more annoyed! I did tell her to stop doing it quite recently and thinking about it, she has cooled off a bit since then. Maybe that's why