March 2017 (4)

[purpleviolet1]

Follow on from March 2017(3)

Welcome all!

[Carolann8584]

purple I'm with you. DP will do what I ask but won't use his own initiative, he sees me do the same things each night but doesn't jump in and do them while I put DD to bed so I don't have to do it when I cone down.

He is helping more with the night time routine but that's only recently and only during the week. We divide and concur at the weekends as the boys bedtime routine clashes with DDs. I still do DDs bedtime feed and put her down every night, she sees him and is instantly wide awake and ready to play.

[purpleviolet1]

💁 what to do with these men...

[Blondeshavemorefun]

As in no doeent make you a bad mum

What I wrote didn't make sense

Kwym about men helping. Df is good and will do something but haveto ask. Whether it's bath or bottles or tidying toys etc

Doesn't do of own innovative

[purpleviolet1]

Arghh it makes me feel better in a funny kinda way that other men have this issue too!

2 months that must have been a shock !

[NameChange30]

So DS is asleep in his cot for the first time ever 😭😭😭
We decided to give it a go, if he wakes up a lot I'll just bring him back in with us, but he can at least start the night in his cot.
It took him longer to fall asleep, which I was expecting, but it wasn't as bad as it could have been. It's not quite as easy when you're sitting next to the cot in a chair and leaning over it, as opposed to lying down in bed with baby right next to you in the Snuzpod!
Feeling a bit emotional but not as sad as I thought I might be... mostly just hoping and praying for more sleep!
The cot is obviously bigger than the Snuzpod but he doesn't even look small in it, he's huge

[NameChange30]

Blondes
What a long journey you had, I'm so glad you have your DD now

My DH is pretty good. I think it helped that he did most of the cooking before I got pregnant, and then started doing all of it when I had PGP and couldn't stand or walk for long at all without being in pain, and he's just carried on doing it. It also helped that he took a month off work after DS was born, and because I was breastfeeding, he did most of the nappy changes. Obviously that changed when he went back to work but he still does what he can. DH does bath time which is nice for them I think. He also does his share of rocking DS to sleep at weekends. But when I was ill and he looked after him for most of the day, he did have a shock!

I think what works is that we both have jobs that we "own" so we don't have to ask each other to do them. We both know DH will cook dinner so he just does it. I also think it's important for both partners to have roughly equal down time, and to work together to get the jobs done first before relaxing. It annoys me when DH is chilling out surrounded by mess because I can't relax until it's tidy (and I don't mean immaculate, I just mean toys chucked in the basket and dinner plates put in the dishwasher, that kind of thing)

purple
I think if your DP is really tired when he gets in from work it would be fair enough for him to have a short break, but it's not fair for him to sit on his arse all evening and leave you to carry on looking after the baby and house when you've already been doing it all day.
Do you get to go out once a week (an exercise class or seeing friends or something else)? If he has a weekly activity I think it's only fair that you have one too.
Don't be a martyr!!

[Carolann8584]

name I cried my heart out the first night DD went in her cot . It came round so fast

[NameChange30]

Thanks Hugh 🤞🤞🤞

I can't imagine getting pregnant just a few months after having DS! Your poor body!! But it will be nice for them to be so close in age as they grow up

[NameChange30]

Carol
Awww! I must have a heart of stone, no crying here... too tired to cry
Your DD went in her cot when she outgrew her Moses didn't she? So she must have still been small!

[hashtagtubechat]

Hello all,

Hope I can join in? I initially started following this thread last year, my due date was 20th March and was going well fast forward to December when the placenta started to fail and I delivered my beautiful girl at bang on 27 weeks on 19 December. What followed was a ridiculous rollercoaster of NICU highs and terrible lows, surgery at GOSH when she was just 10 weeks old and all the other stuff associated with premature baby. We finally got to take her home after 15 weeks in NICU at the beginning of April The first six months have been incredibly hard, going back and forth for various check ups, dealing with reflux, weight gain issues etc. Anyway, today is the first time I felt I can join in again as she's becoming much more like a 'normal baby' (for the lack of better expression). We still have ongoing issues and tomorrow we're going to find out how her heart is doing and whether she'll need another surgery but STILL!! She's growing, she's finally got the hang of eating solids, her reflux is still shit but we're managing it well and she's getting stronger everyday! We were told to expect cp as she suffered a brain damage probably in utero, but today she's been lifting that head like a pro during tummy time and very much looks like she's desperate to figure out army crawling. And I am feeling hopeful and happy to have her and that I can deal with it all, rather than just desperately sad about the last 9 months. She's 9 months actual, 6 motnhs corrected

[purpleviolet1]

Namechange really hope tonight gives you hope!! Are you getting to bed yourself now? It’ll be interesting to see what the wee man does

So true about owning jobs! Dh doesn’t cook I’m afraid. Could learn couldn’t he though! He does often say that he should not quite the same as doing something about it haha.

I’m too tired by the time ds is in bed and I suppose I’m not too comfortable leaving him for long periods when he’s up. Funnily enough we walked to the library today , it’s just been built alongside a leisure centre and I picked up their timetable. Going to have a look at it just how thanks for the reminder! I should find a class I would like to do. My friends all stay about half an hour away so not so practical on an evening.

[purpleviolet1]

@hashtagtubechat welcome! I’m so sorry to hear of the tough time you had but how lovely that things are looking up now

We’re a small chatty bunch

[troodiedoo]

Bloody hell @hashtagtubechat you've been through the mill. Glad things are improving. welcome to the party

Hell no I'm not having another one! tempting when they are small and cute though

[NameChange30]

hashtag
Hello and welcome! I'm sorry to hear your DD's had a difficult start but so glad she's doing better now. A massive well done to you! Best of luck for tomorrow.

purple
Thanks! I was thinking about bed and then DS woke up crying I'm not surprised tbh as he's due another dose of pain relief and he didn't have as much milk as usual before bed (not as far as I can tell anyway) so I thought he'd probably wake up wanting drugs and milk... I'm feeding him now. I'll try putting him back in his cot and then go to bed myself... in a different room! Sniff!

[Carolann8584]

hash glad to hear your DD is doing well. Long may it continue she's sounds like a little trooper

name yeah she was too long for her Moses (which is still next to our bed ☹) she went into her room a couple of weeks before she turned 6 months. She looks so tiny in her cot. We are going to have to lower the mattress already as she's started to pull at anything to sit up.

[NameChange30]

Ahhhhh she is soo cute Carol! Those chubby arms DS often likes to sleep in the same position - usually with his legs out of the Snuzpod and on my side of the bed!

[Blondeshavemorefun]

@hash. Welcome and what a emotional start you have had to dd life but fantastic she is showing signs of mobility - I've looked after a lot of early prems and usually by 12/18mths they are at same level of similar age babies

@hugh. Indeed and even more so after ivf. I went back on the pill

Ironic really as spent so long ttc. It really wouldn't have bothered us if dd had downs (niece has ds and is the most gorgeous loving girl) but I'm not willing to take the risk of possible mc as well as that would break my heart

It didn't bother me dd going in own room. Was about 14w and grew out of Moses basket and once moved she started sleeping 11-730/8 as think she was bashing and waking her self. 3w later then dropped df and did /does 7/730

Good luck in own room @name. When wakes feeds and see if settles in cot.

[Blondeshavemorefun]

Dd takes up half her cot and it's a cot bed so large anyway

[troodiedoo]

So cute when they are sleeping! I just can't bring myself to put her in her own room yet

[NameChange30]

Hugh
There is a FB group, I'm not in the group (felt funny about mixing Mumsnet and Facebook!) but maybe more people from the antenatal thread are on it?

[Carolann8584]

Yeah she's got creases where there are no joints in her arms lol. She's getting a nice little budda belly now she has 3 meals a day 😊