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The Mumsnet Commandments of Housekeeping

(130 Posts)

MNHQ have commented on this thread.

Bitchfromhell Sun 16-Jul-17 17:05:52

1. Thou shalt not bleach thine pants.

No matter if they are your good m&s ones, and even if they are quite new and only a little bit grey. Thou shalt invoke the wrath of thine fanjo angry no matter how well thou thinkest they have been rinsed.

<scratches and winces>

Please add your own Housekeeping Commandments, borne out of bitter experience, as a checklist for those of us hard of brain cell. And so I don't feel quite so alone in my idiocy.

Bitchfromhell Sun 16-Jul-17 17:16:24

And as an addendum to Commandment 1. I would like to add; especially not with co-op 45p loo bleach. No good can come of it.

Tessticklesyourfancy Sun 16-Jul-17 18:00:08

Thout shall not own a loo brush.
I've already failed this one shock

treaclesoda Sun 16-Jul-17 18:04:28

Thou shalt wash and disinfect everything several times a day. Anything else is apparently grim.

PeanutButterIsEverything Sun 16-Jul-17 18:07:36

Thou shalt not allow the arse cheeks of any tradesperson to sully the porcelain of thy toilet.

PortiaCastis Sun 16-Jul-17 18:10:25

Thou shalt use zoflora on the loo seat or better still on the arse cheeks of said tradesman.

Gileswithachainsaw Sun 16-Jul-17 18:11:37

Thou shalt not let washing get darked on or attacked by spider willies

PortiaCastis Sun 16-Jul-17 18:12:54

Thou shalt not spray cuprinol over poor defenceless pigeons!

NorthernLurker Sun 16-Jul-17 18:14:57

Thou shalt place a flea collar in thy hoover bag to avoid thy Miele being flea-ridden

Penhacked Sun 16-Jul-17 18:15:03

Thou shalt readeth the Kondo Bible thrice daily, which guideth to the true way of tidinesseth.

bakingaddict Sun 16-Jul-17 18:16:00

Thou shall employ other people to clean but still have to tidy up beforehand less cleaner thinks your a lazy harlot

AdaColeman Sun 16-Jul-17 18:20:15

Thou shalt endeavour with all thy will to always be the first to purchase a new Zoflora fragrance, particularly "special editions".

MumBod Sun 16-Jul-17 18:25:38

Thou shalt change thy bed on the hour, every hour.

Bitchfromhell Sun 16-Jul-17 18:26:29

Thou dealt not let thine cleaner within 40 yards of the paint cupboard.

Bitchfromhell Sun 16-Jul-17 18:26:57

Bloody wine blush

granny24 Sun 16-Jul-17 18:36:56

Giles I have had a brain wave about darking laundry. I was ambling round on the Internet a couple of days ago and came upon an asthma help site. Parents with asthmatic/eczema/ hay fever suffering children were advised to get laundry in before dusk as that is when pollen is most prevalent. Absolutely no idea if it is scientifically correct or a load iof woooo. Article said if children were given bedding etc which had been out late (darked on?) could get ill quite quickly.Misses point of thread.

Notagainmun Sun 16-Jul-17 18:37:49

Thou shalt use Zofla liberally wherever poo crumbs have been found.

dementedma Sun 16-Jul-17 18:39:44

Thou shalt use flagons of bleach and medicinal wipes at every opportunity with no care and no thought for this pleasant green land in which we live!

outabout Sun 16-Jul-17 18:50:28

Thou shalt not engage brain in rational thought if you can get someone else to do it. (or read instructions or anything 'icky').
Flame me, ban me, I don't care anymore!

Finola1step Sun 16-Jul-17 18:57:20

Thou shalt never welcome advice from thy Mother in Law in relation to the home. Indeed, it is preferred that said women is kept at an arm's length away from thy threshold at all times.

Paddybare Sun 16-Jul-17 18:58:57

Thou shalt never have a toilet brush in your home.

SisterMortificado Sun 16-Jul-17 19:01:34

Thou shalt never bung it all in together with a scoop of surf on "cotton 40" and hope for the best. Thou shalt divideth thy laundry into many loads. To wit: whites, lights (but not whites), brights, darks, heavily soiled, sheets, tea towels, and towels.

SisterMortificado Sun 16-Jul-17 19:03:52


Thou shalt not bung the woolens in on 'cotton 40.' Thou really ought to separateth them out, and hand washeth or 'woolen cycle' them unless thou enjoyeth the pilling and strange smell.

DailyMailFuckRightOff Sun 16-Jul-17 19:10:35

Thou shalt engage a fancy stunt bottle of hand soap for guests, and woe betide any dunce from thine own household caught using fancy stunt soap.
Ditto fancy fruits e.g. Pineapple.

Spudlet Sun 16-Jul-17 19:17:57

Thou shalt accept that should thou owneth a dog, thy house shalt smell like a kennel, no matter how mouth thou doth protest that it dost not.

Nay verily, even should thine own mother, who is brutally honest on such matters and liveth 100 miles away without a dog and therefore ist not immune to thy dwelling house's aromas swears blind that there be no canine odour around, thou ist fooling only thineself according to ye Fearsome Gods of Mumsnet.

Thou shalt rinse disposable nappies in the loo to disposeth of the poop before sullying thine wheelie bin with the nappy, assuming thou ist even using disposables, thou lazy wretch.

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