I do NOT want to give birth again, I do NOT, I do NOT, I do NOT

[FillyjonkisCALM]

(I am sorry if I am scaring first timers, I just need to get this off my chest. So please click on a "how many nappies do I need" thread or something.)

I do NOT like the pain. It is not bloody "special" pain as far as I am concerned. It is JUST PAIN. Pain is NOT GOOD. Drugs are inadequate. I don't WANT to squeeze something the size of a cantaloupe melon out of my fanjo, I want a nice general anaethetic and to wake up, oooh, once the baby has learnt to sleep.

I have a week or three to go and I am vaguely panicking.

And yes I have tried sodding TENS...

I don't want to put anyone off here, I am feeling bad but I am actually bloody terrified-and this is number 3, btw...

(awaits possible telling off)

oh and I don't want to breastfeed. I WILL but I don't want to. I want to get this baby out and then go and BE BY MYSELF and not huge for about a week.

(I feel better now)

[NAB3wishesfor2008]

Gas and air

[thelittleElf]

Do you want a custard cream

[constancereader]

"I want to get this baby out and then go and BE BY MYSELF and not huge for about a week."

I must say I felt the same
Glad you feel better.

[melsy]

Getting it of your chest always helps , rant away .

[fletchaaarr]

(my number three was by FAR the easiest if that is any help)

[Habbibu]

poor Filly! I know what you mean about the "not special" pain. Can only second Nab about filling yourself to the gills with gas and air, and maybe a dab of diamorphine if it's going - gave me weird thoughts about Malcolm in the Middle first time round...

[weebleswobble]

In about 15 years, you'll wonder what all the fuss was about

[Nappyzone]

epidural?

[Ledodgy]

Oh I felt exactly the same this time round (my third also) I was so much more frightened than with my other two. In the end though although it does hurt like hell it's only really the last bit that is agony and that usually doesn't last too long. I saved the gas and air until I got to around 8 cm dialated which helped alot I think because it was the something extra I needed at that time and I didn't peak too soon iyswim.

That said straight after I vowed i'd never put myself through that again but now if I did want more children (which I don't) I still would as the memory of the pain has faded and it's not even 4 weeks later!

Good Luck

[Divastrop]

i doubt this will help but my 3rd was an easy,wonderful,lovely birth compared to the first 2.

i wish you a pain-free first stage and a 2 minute second stage and a dream baby who bf's like a pro from the start

[whomovedmychocolate]

LOL Filly - and yet you will still have to!

Yeah, you are right, hurts like buggery*

People say it doesn't but for the majority of us, ooohh yes it does.

I loved the gas and air and took a certain amount of satisfaction from kicking the consultant in the face during internals (he was a gitmeister).

I bet you go into labour tomorrow now!

• I assume buggery is a bit ouchy

[FillyjonkisCALM]

yes I DO want a custard cream. That is a very good idea.

Its also a good idea to save some stuff for the end, I think.

Part of the problem is that by the time I am sufficiently in labour for an epidural to be allowed, it is also progressing so quickly that there is no point. Ds was an hour from 6 cm dilation to birth .

Which is the other problem-I think I have such quick labours that they are just enormously painful. Or I am a wimp

[ConnorTraceptive]

I feel your pain - I've been in heavenly denial for sometime now but every now again there is a flash of "Oh shit this is going to happen soon"

Fuckity fuck

[Ledodgy]

If you didn't watch it the first time watch the Fake babies documentary about those weirdy reborn dolls on channel 4 at 10 pm, I commented on here that it was so cringeworthy it would send me into labour and sure enough my waters broke that night!

[FillyjonkisCALM]

to be fair to my babies, they are very good at bfding (thus far)

I just WANT SOME SPACE. I don't WANT something latched onto me when my fanjo is recovering from agony. I want someone to bring me a nice coffee and a custard cream and a newspaper and leave me alone for a bit

[NAB3wishesfor2008]

Tell your partner to bring you everything you want while you feed and recover.

[Ledodgy]

I feel that pain. Im going through it right now and have some horrible fluey bug to boot.

[PaulaYatesBiggestFan]

Filly are you my long lost sister?

i have had 5 deliveries and i bloody hate birth. It hurts like hell and however 'natural' it does not feel bloody natural. i always scream 'this is a living hell'

Last time - number 5 I had an epidural! the midwives questioned it when i said i wanted one but i meant business. when i got into the delivery room they gaveme the gas and air ( waste of vomitting space) and i threw it across the bed and said 'i want an f'ing epidural i dont want that' and i got one. and it was lovely. and the baby was calm. and the birth was serene. and i smiled. and the baby did not cry. neither did i - and i did not have a catherter. and i did not have numb legs. and i did not have assistance. and the labour was 3 hours. it was bliss bliss bliss

this time i am asking for either

1. elective section
2. induction so as to ENSURE availability of epidural
3. stick pins in my eyes and hope to die

Re breatsfeeding ( soul sister) I too hate it - one year each child bar one and i hate it. i know its best and they love it and once a fortnight for 2.3 seconds i might 'like' it but mostly i dont. and i LOVE bottles so how odd does that make me!

[Hecate]

Well, you picked the wrong bloody time to make that decision, filly!

Seriously, I think it can feel worse with subsequent births - 1st time round you really had no clue. But after that, you know exactly what you're in for!

You've done it twice, so you know you can do it. Maybe have an epidural early, you won't feel a thing.

[Heated]

Another thumbs up for an epidural - topped up by the anesthetist (none of that watered down stuff for me!).

[FillyjonkisCALM]

Paula is that true about the no numb legs?

Promise?

I am terrified of numb legs.

[alfiesbabe]

LOL yeah it hurts like fuck doesnt it - but hey, you've done it before so you know that! Go for it girl - make gas and air your new best friend.

[MorocconOil]

I was the same with my third DC. I had had two normal deliveries, one a lovely homebirth. I was very scared by the thought of all the pain and discomfort. Someone lent me a book about how you were like a flower, opening up during labour and how to visualise it. It made me feel more terrified.

I ended up having a ECS due to fetal distress. It wasn't the end of the world by any means, but I wish I could have chilled out a bit in the final weeks.

Try not to think too much about it. The actual birth is so short in the grand scheme of things. You do forget the pain afterwards. Just try to focus on the lovely bit at the end when you see your dc for the first time ever and they gaze at you in that wonderous way. I'm almost feeling jealous now

[Artichokes]

I had an epidural. And I was promised no numb legs and it was a BIG FAT LIE.

I had numb legs. And a numb bum. And numb hips. Sadly I did not get a numb womb. And so the consultant was called. And six stabs in the spine later it was announced I had "an odd epidural gap".

Then it finally did work. And the pain relief was glorious. Until it transpired I was allergic to diamorphine and I broke out in horribly itchy hives.

And I could not feel to push. So I had forceps. Which may have been the reason for my large haemorrage (sp?).

Please don't assume an epidural is the answer.