I do NOT want to give birth again, I do NOT, I do NOT, I do NOT

[FillyjonkisCALM]

(I am sorry if I am scaring first timers, I just need to get this off my chest. So please click on a "how many nappies do I need" thread or something.)

I do NOT like the pain. It is not bloody "special" pain as far as I am concerned. It is JUST PAIN. Pain is NOT GOOD. Drugs are inadequate. I don't WANT to squeeze something the size of a cantaloupe melon out of my fanjo, I want a nice general anaethetic and to wake up, oooh, once the baby has learnt to sleep.

I have a week or three to go and I am vaguely panicking.

And yes I have tried sodding TENS...

I don't want to put anyone off here, I am feeling bad but I am actually bloody terrified-and this is number 3, btw...

(awaits possible telling off)

oh and I don't want to breastfeed. I WILL but I don't want to. I want to get this baby out and then go and BE BY MYSELF and not huge for about a week.

(I feel better now)

funny how so many people lament not having done it 'properly' ... while i am just put out i never got to try any of these drugs/epis/spinal malarkeys. that spinal thing sounds like the way to go!

if i do it again tho, itll be lightning fast, so ill have a pool at home and ill be on me own, ta. leastways, no-ones allowed to speak. fucking chit chat going on over your head when youre busy expelling huge people from v tight spaces is just plain annoying. not to mention other people announcing 'oh the waters have just gone' before you have a chance to draw breath and say it yourself (what with the major contraction n all). really pissed me off that did. theyre my waters fgs. silly bloody mw's forgot the G&A too... not that i wanted it but honestly! what the hell are they there for without the only drugs they can bring?

sorry - there was so much cathartic birth wingeing going on, i thought id join in!

Knowing how horrifically painful it can be, I have total and utter respect for anyone that has more than one baby. I don't think I'll be having another, that's for sure.

oh ffs..

try being a single mum , when you worry about food & clothes etc. for yourself & baby you don't really have the time or the effort to worry about physical pain, etc.

GET over yourselves, women have been giving birth for years , it what the female body is for!

And yes, you do have a choice, so make it & get on with it, some of you lot need a reality check!!

im sorry your reality is so difficult auntilin.

Thankyou, could i also have some praise for a natural birth, breastfeeding for 10 mths, & really loving my baby & the whole childrearing process??

wee bit harsh there auntilin.

there are women out there who genuinely are terrified......never mind that women have been doing this for hundreds of years!

women have alos been feeding and clothing their LO's for hundreds of years, so moot point on your part me thinks!

Yes women having been giving birth for hundreds (thousands) of years. They have also been dying in childbirth for thousands of years. It is not always a straightforward process and for some women it can be extremely difficult and excrutiatingly painful.

I'm not belittling how hard it is being a single mum. But there is some physical pain that you have no choice but to take a whole lot of notice of, because it is overwhelming and all consuming, and it stays with you for a long long time.

auntilin - what do you want???? A gold medal because you (obviously) had a good birth experience, successfully bf and love your baby??

Welcome to the real world.

I had an AWESOME birth with DS3 (only managed the BF for a few months - but hey ho - he's still adorable). DS1 was a bit of a "non-event" (CS, no labour at all - but BF).

DS2..............absolutely HELL ON EARTH. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy a birth like that. Truly, truly awful. (and no I didn't BF him).

I won't lie I was truly terrified of giving birth to DS3 (given my awful labour/birth with DS2) (neither of my last 2 children were planned - so can't use the "oh well you decided to have another so you knew what was coming). I lay awake for hours at night worrying about it - but it was truly amazing. I'm still buzzing 8 months on.

Just one thing about the BF........if you really don't want to - don't force yourself. You want/need to bond with your DC3 and doing something you don't want to do isn't going to help that process - especially with 2 older children to think of.

just a tip; if its praise you are loking for, attacking people is prob not the simplest way to get it.

i know its normal, my sister gets spikey as hell the more she needs her TLC... but since this is the internet and there honesty in anonymity, it seems ok to point that out.

i have no doubt that youve done a sterling job under difficult circs. but leave out the judging others stuff coz its not v nice and counter productive if its friendship and understanding you seek.

Oh and by the way, it's not only single mums that worry about food and clothes for themselves, their partners and their babies.

pmt, tired, sad ??

prob all 3, off to bed now, but hey thanks for the reality check..

hey auntilin - take care of yourself, ok? be kind to yourself. as you well know, often times, youre the only one who'll do it, so you better make sure you do.

it puts me off another one. i did ds with not a stich of pain relief and in all honesty it was all fine until i was pushing and then it was horrendous and i hated it. i dont remember the pain i remember the fear or being stretched to breaking point.

vile.

i did not breastfeed him as my treatment after dd1 in regards to breastfeeding has put me off for life and the thought of breastfeeding makes me nauseous to tell the truth. which i know is terrible but it is the truth

yes auntielin

and these people are worse off than you.

Etc etc etc

(please DO click on the link btw people)

With DD I refused to push cos it hurt so much, so they gave me a local anasthetic in my fanjo. Made it all much more bearable, and I was good to go for the stitches afterwards too. I really don't know why they don't do that more often.

I've got 6 weeks to go until DC2 arrives and am really not looking forward to labour. But I've convinced myself that this time I'll have a lovely relaxing home water birth, and the pushing will be much quicker and less stressful. A girl can dream, can't she?

lol

I shall do that. I shall just refuse.

that is a FABULOUS idea

Actually with ds I did say, at transition, "RIGHT that is IT I am GOING HOME"

I know this is commonly said, so am not sure WHY it cause so much mirth among the mws

hey derah, fwiw, the water can be soothing and help the skin stretch. the mobility youll have in the water will allow you MUCH more control of your contractions and where/how you wanna be for them, you can be upright and push down, rather than laying on a bed feeling like your trying to do a huge turd and you can put a sign on the wall with your 'birth plan' on it, full of snipey little instruvctions about your preferences and everyone has to respect it all coz its YOUR day.
good luck

Message withdrawn

How you doing tonite, Fillyjonks? I'm due only a few days after you. I have been alternating between lurking on this thread and putting my fingers in ears and singing lalalalalala... at the mere idea of childbirth.

I am trying to make a list of things I will look forward to post-partum, maybe I can concentrate on those during labour. At least I like breastfeeding....
plus wine, no heartburn, wardrobe variety, using all the new baby kit I've bought, people not asking any more "When are you due?", no more weeing on sticks for Mwife, excuses to spend more time on MN, cups of tea being brought to me only for 2 weeks, notes DH! how soft my dad will be when I tell him, DD trying to show off her baby brother to all her friends, less insomnia (because it can't get worse), not having to plan toilet stops...

I've had sporadic intense ctx this evening, they stop when I sit down to read MN, though. Back to hiding head in sand for now, i guess!