I do NOT want to give birth again, I do NOT, I do NOT, I do NOT

[FillyjonkisCALM]

(I am sorry if I am scaring first timers, I just need to get this off my chest. So please click on a "how many nappies do I need" thread or something.)

I do NOT like the pain. It is not bloody "special" pain as far as I am concerned. It is JUST PAIN. Pain is NOT GOOD. Drugs are inadequate. I don't WANT to squeeze something the size of a cantaloupe melon out of my fanjo, I want a nice general anaethetic and to wake up, oooh, once the baby has learnt to sleep.

I have a week or three to go and I am vaguely panicking.

And yes I have tried sodding TENS...

I don't want to put anyone off here, I am feeling bad but I am actually bloody terrified-and this is number 3, btw...

(awaits possible telling off)

oh and I don't want to breastfeed. I WILL but I don't want to. I want to get this baby out and then go and BE BY MYSELF and not huge for about a week.

(I feel better now)

I haven't read all the posts, but I'm with you all the way. I watched a documentary about a teenage mum last week and they filmed her all the way through the first stage of labour and it had me sobbing and howling with long-hidden memories.
Good luck, and here's hoping it's quick.
xx.

I don't want to give birth either. Maybe if we all get together and do some kind of special chant our babies will magically be delivered by the stork at 12 weeks old, trained to sleep a minimum of 6 hours at night with sufficiently chubby cheeks and a smile that isn't just wind?
maybe?

lol sabire

you don't say, eh?

Filly, I spent 9 months dreading the pain after the terrible time I had with my first. That was 3 lots of 9 months as I had three more children. So that was 27 months dreading the pain that lasted in total for the three subseqent births maybe 24 hours? Yes it is painful but I can honestly say none of the births were as bad as the first (sorry, first timers) and none of them warranted the amount of dread I had for them.

Also, when you get to the last few weeks, the crappiness of having to drag around that great lump with you wherever you go (yes I am talking about my precious babies here!) did go some way to outweigh the fear of the pain.

As for breastfeeding, give it a go. If it works, great, if it doesn't, keep schtum on MN!

Good luck.

If men had babies there would be a pill that would have been invented by now that would take all pain away, dilation would be painless, pushing over in 5 minutes no stitches nothing.

Ok you do get the most wonderful thing at the end of it but when you are out of your mind in agony that doesn't really come into it. Human beings are right at the edge when it comes to being able to birth a baby naturally, large head and small pelvis = a lot of pain. Let's face it the harsh truth is if we all did it natural with no doctors or hospitals a lot of babies and women would not be here right now

I am propagating no.3 child too as so many are here. But I am not dreading it - so does that make me really really wierd???

I had horrendous long back labour ending with epidural and forceps first time around, hated it. Second time was fast and furious, and despite being very intensly painful, I actually stopped the anesthetist from going ahead and inserting the needle, and got the midwife to check how fast I was progressing, of course it appeared I was too far gone (if I had kept quiet I would have had the needle in in no time!). But it was over so quickly that I was just relieved not to have numb legs like the first time!!!!! Weird or what.

But it gets worse, this time I am planning a homebirth - eek, however did I get to thinking that this one is going to be so easy that I won't need those doctors at all??????

So looking at all your posts, I am confirmed truely mad. But convinced that this third birth will be fantastic!!!!!!!

Rainbowdays - I am hoping the same that I cough and this one falls out. I had a homebirth last time and it was fantastic, OK the pain was still there and I still ahd the out of it feeling but I had lovely gas and air and the pain does go the minute the baby is out. Afterwards I had a nice shower in MY shower, got into MY bed freshly made by the MWs and cuddled up with my baby, DP and DD1.

oh I want to give birth (no. 2) - am so sick of being pregnant.

Lol about 'special pain' tho. Went to a birth workshop the other day (basically 3 hr antenatal class). I was the only second timer there. Midwife was saying how 'pain wasn't really the right word for it - it was just a 'very powerful feeling'. I bit my lip so as not to upset the first time mums (they'll find out soon enough) but just kept thinking 'it BLOODY hurt'

Lulus post of 21:30:20 makes me want to do it again and after ds4s arrival thats not something i say lightly....

filly, fwiw i had my 3rd 8 weeks ago and i was far more scared than i was with my other 2.

in the end i had a 2 hour labour at home with no pain relief and no stitches.
it was great!

but i do remember saing exactly the same things as you.

I still think it should be like Star trek and we just "beam" them out.

am i the only person for whom gas and air did nothing?!

and yes, i toked hard - i used to smoke a pack a day of cigarettes and more than my share of bong hits/doobies/peace pipes.

and yes, i tried it more than once.

it's shite.

epidural.

and thanks for this thread - it's put us off having another one. better you than me .

Oh dear. you have my fullest sympathies. I wanted to be in a darkened room with butler service for about a fortnight after giving birth. I don't like pain. I didn't feel like BF-ing much (although I did). It was all so bloody knackering. can't believe I am ttc no.2

BFing is something I do not do for myself, I do it because it's the best for them but I don't enjoy it. It's bloody hard work at first.

If you think G&A isn't working try a few contractions without it. It's great stuff if your not in horrendous pain. I had a bit when I was pushing out the placenta and it's fab I was away with the fairies.

oh, i got to try two hours of contractions without it waiting for the anaesthetist to show up and give me the epidural.

it made me vomit - three times.

the second time i tried it, with DD2, again, all it did was make me hurl - at 9cm dilated, on my knees, hurling into one of those paper bowls.

it just made everything worse - i was in pain AND vomitting.

if you want an epidural without numb legs, you could try what I did - I don't know if it was a fluke or what

I was in two minds about the epidural but went for it, and they gave me what they said, I think, was a little test dose. It was fab and just enough - I said "stop there that is great, no really, it's fine now, don't give me any more"

it took away a HUGE amount of the pain but I could still move around and feel the contractions and everything - and could sit up and ask for a sandwich (which of course they wouldn't give me) -instead of feeling like a pale scared limp thing - I still used gas and air as the contractions were too painful otherwise, I really could feel them but it was ok

however ds did have a shitty forceps delivery after a failed ventouse, which of course may not have been necessary had I not had epidural

so it is your choice - maybe it will be fab this time? It is possible....

I'm due scarily soon but with no.2 not 3.
For me the scariest part is not knowing what to expect- will this birth be the same as dd (very long, pethidine, g+a, epidural-don't ask-, ventouse and shed loads of stitches) or will it be incredibly quick and painless... I think knowing what the pain is like makes it worse 2nd/3rd/4th time.
I'm resigned to the fact that it has to come out regardless of how I feel but I must confess to stressing over it a bit.
On th eupside, I loved bfing dd and had no probs at all BUT does that really mean it will be that easy with this one? So yet another thing to stress about!

I was very scared about having number2 as my firts birth was not great (induction/epidural/forcepsetc).

I kind of used hypobrthing techniques but made them up myself. I practised breathing/visualiastion/a calming manta etc) I made DH practise with me, it seemed a bit nuts and embarassing but I reckon IT WORKED.

It obviously didn't get rid of the pain but helped me stay calm and in control which on relflection is what I think went wrong for me the first time, I paniced, I was frightened, it was all out of my control and I just lay there like a scared suffering animal.

I know alot will dimiss this idea but for me it REALLY helped.
TBH though second birth was very straihgt forward, about seven hours long and kept progressing, so I guess that helped ALOT too.

doula?

Well, I didn't have an epidural with ds. No. I was going to keep going on gas and air. And going. And going. And then had to have a spinal anaesthetic for my failed ventouse/forceps delivery. Had I known that was going to be necessary, I would have had an epidural hours before...

I don't think gas and air takes away any pain as such, it just makes you not care so much about it. I was concentrating more on my 'Mr Men' hallucinations...

ill do it for you. i love giving birth. is possibly the thing im best at.
sigh.

filly! I felt exactly the same. I just kept thinking I did not - and could not - go through with it. I was too tired to stay awake that long, never mind the pain.

All I can say is, no point worrying. Because once you get to the serious stage, it;s nearly over and you get that wonderful feeling again for a short while

done, snappy

its that feeling of being utterly trapped, with no other way out

And it IS ludicriously painful.

I will probably do the Right Thing, gas and air, half dose of pethadine perhaps at most...I WILL bf, I always do, for ages.

God they are so much more fun and less painful when they get to about...oooh...18 months...