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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Daughter been uninvited from a party!!

165 replies

Meh86 · 17/09/2021 19:45

Please bare with the ramble.. So my 10yr old was invited to a party (Harry Potter world) tickets booked they are going next week! There was a bit of petty drama yesterday with a he said she said but they seemed to have sorted it, the birthday child came to my house today and was all laughs and giggles with dd and another child that comes after school, I then dropped the birthday child off for her gymnastics session (me and her mum was good friends I was doing her a favour) about an hour later I get a message saying her daughter wants to uninvite mine as she was crying 🤷🏽‍♀️ This child was absolutely fine when she was at my house so I was very confused. Anyway am I being unreasonable to feel very hurt and p£6)? Off at the mum and her daughter for so meanly uninviting mine to the party or am I being in my feelings? Personally I would never uninvite someone unless things was seriously bad between them but for a she said he said.. I’m pi$^]?

OP posts:
Tiredmum12389 · 17/09/2021 19:49

Thats is awful.. like you I wouldnt dream of doing that. But some people are just awful. I would ask her to explain why as her daughter had a great time at yours but would probably not want my daughter to go now anyway. X

Sparklfairy · 17/09/2021 19:51

Feign ignorance, "oh thats strange, she was fine when she was here! You know what kids are like, what's happened?" To see if you can get more info and smooth things over?

jelly79 · 17/09/2021 19:52

You paid £6 for your daughters ticket to the party??

Regardless of the invite I would be asking the mum what is going on as your perception was very Different

DocAutumn · 17/09/2021 19:53

She has just been at your house having fun and you have just given her a lift? Don't have her at your house again and don't be giving her lifts. I would not dignify that with a reply.

Auroreforet · 17/09/2021 19:53

I wonder if they are a ticket short and this is an excuse.
Whatever the reason its a horrible thing to do to a dc and unless your dd had been mean to the girl I think its pretty spiteful.
I'd certainly be stopping the favours.

TheWoleb · 17/09/2021 19:55

What's with all the random characters? Can you not type pissed? You're an adult. Use the word or dont use the word, but don't do the silly comic book swearing style

Did you not ask her what happened when she messaged? It is really poor form to uninvite like that unless something bad has actually happened between them.

RoseGoldGlasses · 17/09/2021 19:55

@Sparklfairy

Feign ignorance, "oh thats strange, she was fine when she was here! You know what kids are like, what's happened?" To see if you can get more info and smooth things over?
That's awful, I would do this.
Rhinothunder · 17/09/2021 19:56

@Sparklfairy

Feign ignorance, "oh thats strange, she was fine when she was here! You know what kids are like, what's happened?" To see if you can get more info and smooth things over?
I agree
MattHancocksSexTape · 17/09/2021 19:57

@jelly79

You paid £6 for your daughters ticket to the party??

Regardless of the invite I would be asking the mum what is going on as your perception was very Different

I think the OP is too prim and proper to write the word pissed.
LynetteScavo · 17/09/2021 19:57

There will be so much confusion about p£6) - the OP means pissed off.

YANBU to be kissed off. I would take my DC anyway (funds allowing) and never have birthday child to my house again, and definitely never drop them off anywhere. The other Luther would be dead to me.

You know posts on here, where OPs say they don't know why bitch mum is ignoring them? It's because they very reasonably (according to them) uninvited a "lively" child to a party.

Noshowwithoutpunch · 17/09/2021 19:59

Well it would be the last time I dropped the girl at her gymnastics class or had her over after school for a start!.
I'm betting the Birthday girl wasn't happy your dd had some other friend over to play too. Three is definitely a crowd where ten yr old girls are concerned- I have one.
The mother sounds a complete CF and she doesn't sound very switched on.
I'd be keeping my DD away from them as much as possible and certainly not having anything to do with them outside school.

LynetteScavo · 17/09/2021 20:00

Harry PotterWorld would be a really big thing to a 10yo, so it's exceptionally shitty to uninvite someone.

But again, there will be so many threads reassuring the other parent that their child should not be burdened on their birthday outing by a child who annoys theirs.

Holskey · 17/09/2021 20:03

Did she say she wants to uninvite her, or that she IS actually uninvited?

wtfisgoingon2021 · 17/09/2021 20:03

I honestly think when children get to 10 the mums revert back to 10 year olds too.

Comedycook · 17/09/2021 20:03

That's really shitty. Kids often fall out and make up ...the mum is setting a terrible example to her daughter. Now it will be much harder for the kids to make up and the bad feeling will linger. She should have told her daughter that everyone falls out occasionally and they'll make up and be friends by the time it's the birthday and that it's rude to uninvite someone.

Maybe take your dd out somewhere special that day instead

whynotwhatknot · 17/09/2021 20:03

So not only was she having fun at yours youve been doing them a favour

batshit family

Fashionesta · 17/09/2021 20:05

Very shitty and would never do that unless other child had been violent or extremely unpleasant to DD. One of the girls DD has invited to her upcoming party she's apparently not really friends with any more but tough tits, she's still coming. Friendship fluctuate at this age and change from one day to the next. Mother is being v unreasonable doing this. Your poor DD.

Notonthestairs · 17/09/2021 20:05

I think feigning ignorance and asking for more information is a good idea. If there isn't a decent reason then I'd stop giving lifts etc.

If I had enough money I'd take my child to HP this weekend with a friend. At 10 years old a trip round HP world is enormous fun. .

Beautiful3 · 17/09/2021 20:05

Wow, it's really rude to uninvite someone! Once you tell your daughter, I don't think there's any coming back from it. They'll end up finishing the friendship.

FreeBritnee · 17/09/2021 20:07

i think id just say 'fine, no probs' and book to take my child myself Like fuck would i be pandering to the whims of a 10 year old.

TractorAndHeadphones · 17/09/2021 20:09

You need to ask for more information - what did they think that your daughter did?
A reasonable adult wouldn't let a kid be uninvited so I'd be more curious as to what happened

donquixotedelamancha · 17/09/2021 20:10

This reply has been deleted

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Stompythedinosaur · 17/09/2021 20:16

I wouldn't mince my words about doing something that shitty - "I'm amazed you would let me do you a favour taking your dc to an activity when you were planning to do something so hurtful to my dc".

MrsTerryPratchett · 17/09/2021 20:18

Depends what the 'petty drama' was. Sometimes kids hold it together until they see a parent.

Iputthetrampintrampoline · 17/09/2021 20:22

What a cruel thing to do ...shit parenting from the mother too, Be done with them OP, I would be livid and very upset. So sorry this has happened to your daughter.