Daughter been uninvited from a party!!

[Meh86]

Please bare with the ramble.. So my 10yr old was invited to a party (Harry Potter world) tickets booked they are going next week! There was a bit of petty drama yesterday with a he said she said but they seemed to have sorted it, the birthday child came to my house today and was all laughs and giggles with dd and another child that comes after school, I then dropped the birthday child off for her gymnastics session (me and her mum was good friends I was doing her a favour) about an hour later I get a message saying her daughter wants to uninvite mine as she was crying 🤷🏽‍♀️ This child was absolutely fine when she was at my house so I was very confused. Anyway am I being unreasonable to feel very hurt and p£6)? Off at the mum and her daughter for so meanly uninviting mine to the party or am I being in my feelings? Personally I would never uninvite someone unless things was seriously bad between them but for a she said he said.. I’m pi$^]?

You've been pretty vague with the 'he said, she said' comments - I'd like to hear the other side.

Also, the other girl isn't likely to want to continue a disagreement once she's on your DDs territory, and may have been keeping the peace as you were doing a favour to the mum.

I would just turn up at the party with my child like you "never got the message". It would be worth it to see the embarassed look on her face. But then I am pretty thick skinned and once turned up at a party where everyone in the department (except me) was invited. Of course the hostess dared not say a word in front of the other guests - none of whom appeared aware of the fact that I had not been invited. I even proposed a toast to her!

I know it's hardly a fortune but I would be asking for the money back at least, if she hasn't already mentioned it

Passive aggressive all the way here.
‘That’s strange x was fine here and when I was dropping them at gym, are you sure? Dd will be very upset. Let me know please. Also could you pick dd up from gym next week please, something urgent has come up.

Uninviting a child from a party is a pretty extreme thing to do. I think I would consider it if there was strong justification.

If someone had been very unkind to my child, said something awful, repeated behaviour, then I'd understand why my child wouldn't want to spend their birthday with them.

Why should I pay to treat someone, and spend the day with someone, knowing that they had been horrible and were not a true friend?

And I wouldn't feel any remorse because honestly that would be the obvious natural consequence of their own actions.

But, obviously, it would have to be pretty serious. A 'six of one half a dozen of another' situation wouldn't warrant it. Hard to know really whether this mum is overprotective and unreasonable, or entirely justified in protecting her daughter from yours.

And I wouldn't read too much into her being fine at your house - children are very good at masking hurt until they're somewhere they feel safe. I mean, how many kids are 'fine' at school but dissolve when they get home.

@Sparklfairy

Feign ignorance, "oh thats strange, she was fine when she was here! You know what kids are like, what's happened?" To see if you can get more info and smooth things over?

Absolutely this! Cheeky cow allows you to look after her kid and ferry her around before slicing her out of the party - bitxh!

Depends what the 'petty drama' was. Sometimes kids hold it together until they see a parent.

This! Also has you DD actually been uninvited or does the girl just want to uninvite her and the mum is reaching out to you to help smooth things over or for you to speak to your daughter? Without more detail we have no idea if your daughter is to blame, you've only had her side of the story.

If nothing much happened as you say why would that girl who used to be so good friend with your daughter end up in tears and not wanting her there?

Maybe much more happened than you know. Maybe she put a brave face in front of you but was actually upset, or maybe your daughter said something at the last minute.

If this was my daughter, I would want to know in detail what she did that upset her friend so much before moaning that she shouldn't have been uninvited.

OP hasn’t been back?

Oh great. Another post and run.

"Absolutely this! Cheeky cow allows you to look after her kid and ferry her around before slicing her out of the party - bitxh!"

To be fair, she didn't see her dd in tears and hear the story that led to the uninviting, until after the looking after/ferrying.

I think if the other mum posted 'should I pay £50 to take this girl to Warner bros studios after she made dd cry by saying X' a lot of people would be saying no. Well, it depends what she said I guess but we don't know that yet.

@lottiegarbanzo

My very point is that 'insinuating', like 'presuming', 'assuming', 'guessing' and 'implying' are utterly unhelpful here.

OP needs to speak to the friend (not message, speak) and listen very carefully.

That's the only way she can find out what is really going on here. Once she's done that, she can make an informed choice about what she does (and doesn't do) next.

Best advice

I’d ask why, because she was ok at yours.

Why don’t you just call the other mother and find out what’s going on?

Your daughter might have been mean to the other kid

@MyDcAreMarvel

What was the money for the food? Did she give it you back?

What??

Kids fall out. They will be friends again (and have fallen out and made up again) before the party.

OPs disappeared….reverse?

I would have to ask her why this has happened I'm afraid .10 year olds are always falling out! Probably be back friends again .I do think they have a thing of best friends at this age and she could have been miffed about the other little girl being there. Very bad form anyhow. At least you have saved on a gift anyway!

p£6)? Off

Where did these people come from who don't know how to write words in full? Don't you realise that if we can understand what you mean, we might as well see the words written properly? And if we don't understand, write the words in full so we can. Please.

Sorry, I was so upset by that, I forgot to make my point.

Making further enquiries is sensible. See if it can be fixed. If it can't, take your dd somewhere far better, for a big treat, on the day.

@Salome61

So sorry, some Mums are awful. I'll never forget my son's face as the minibus went off to his bowling party without him, he wanted to wait for his very late friend to arrive rather than leave without him - after twenty minutes we said we'd have to go. We missed the start of his party and when I saw the Mum at school she said she'd 'forgotten'. As I'd phoned her the night before, it was a big fat lie.

You allowed your own son's bowling party minibus to go go off without him, and he missed the start of HIS OWN party?? Why would you allow that? Surely a text to the other mum "Have to go see you there" would have sufficed?!

@RevolvingPivot What??

+Kids fall out. They will be friends again (and have fallen out and made up again) before the party*
And if she doesn’t the op needs her £6 back at the very least.

"Kids fall out. They will be friends again (and have fallen out and made up again) before the party."

Well not necessarily. You've only got to look on parenting, education or bullying to see that. We don't know what was said because op hasn't been back.

Why are people saying to ask for your money back? OP hasn't paid any money.

[quote MyDcAreMarvel]**@RevolvingPivot* What??*

+Kids fall out. They will be friends again (and have fallen out and made up again) before the party*
And if she doesn’t the op needs her £6 back at the very least.[/quote]
What £6??

@RevolvingPivot I think you misunderstood I mean the money the op paid for the party food should be returned! Not the play date food.