To save a bit of the meal for my own DD?

(288 Posts)
FathersDayMeal Sat 19-Jun-21 21:24:07

I am going to my dads tomorrow to cook a meal for me, my DF and sibling for Father’s Day. I’m a single parent and my own DD (aged almost 7) will be with my ExH for the day (as is right).

I have paid for everything to do with the meal and will be cooking it in my slow cooker tonight. The only thing I will do at my DFs is cook the vegetables and finish off the meat in his oven to crisp it and warm it up. The only ingredients my DF or sibling will provide is the condiments like mustard, and the plates it’ll be eaten off, that’s it.

When arranging the meal I said I was happy to pay for it all but I would like to save a bit of meat and vegetables for DD – it should be my weekend with her and I always do us a roast dinner, ExH will not feed her (I provide for her on his weekends as well) so she will have the roast when she comes home. I thought this was a fair compromise, my DD eats very little so there will still be loads for my DF and sibling.

My DF is fine with this but my sibling thinks that because DD won’t be at the meal she shouldn’t get any. They think ExH should feed her which I agree with but the only time ExH ever feeds DD is if they go passed a mcdonalds on the way to or from somewhere - there’s a big park about 15 miles from us he likes to take DD to and they go on the way back from there as there isn’t a mcdonalds in our town), never any other time apart from maybe a sandwich – he has her for 1 overnight EOW and I send meals for him to reheat for DD otherwise he gives her a ham sandwich and not much else.

So AIBU to expect some of the meal I am paying for and cooking to be given to my DD?

Or is my Sibling right and I should make her a seperate meal when she comes back from ExHs?

YANBU - Save some food
YABU - Make something else later

OP’s posts: |
SkedaddIe Sat 19-Jun-21 21:25:42

Yanbu and your sibling is weird.

Comedycook Sat 19-Jun-21 21:26:07

It's really odd that anyone would have an issue with this...of course it's fine to save some food for your dd

MrsWhites Sat 19-Jun-21 21:26:35

I don’t even understand why this is even a conversation? Of course you should keep some food for your child? What the fuck has it got to do with your siblings, I would suggest you tell them if they don’t like it to cook their own bloody dinner!

ScottishNewbie Sat 19-Jun-21 21:27:06

YANBU and your sibling is greedy and ungrateful

UpSlyDown Sat 19-Jun-21 21:27:12

YANBU but also your ex sounds like an arsehole and needs to feed his own child properly.

nimbuscloud Sat 19-Jun-21 21:27:22

Words fail me
Your sibling is an arsehole
So is your ex


CanofCant Sat 19-Jun-21 21:27:43

Of course YANBU. You needn't have even asked their permission imo. Your ex sounds useless just like my ex BIL, my sister had to send DN with food when they visited their father's too.

nimbuscloud Sat 19-Jun-21 21:28:02

And why this was even a conservation is a puzzle

AvantGardening Sat 19-Jun-21 21:28:04

When your sibling pays for the meal and does the work they can decree who can and can’t have a portion.

FathersDayMeal Sat 19-Jun-21 21:28:20

Sibling eats a lot and has anxiety issues so probably worries there won't be enough for everyone but I bought a piece of meat that in theory should feed 8 and DD eats less than a quarter of what I do so I only need to feed 3 people really with the meat.

OP’s posts: |
MichelleScarn Sat 19-Jun-21 21:28:40

How old is your sibling?

FathersDayMeal Sat 19-Jun-21 21:29:51


How old is your sibling?

Late 20s

OP’s posts: |
YoComoManzanas Sat 19-Jun-21 21:29:52

Sounds like ex is a pretty shit parent but that's by-the-by.
So I'm not sure why you would even discuss with sibling about saving a portion or not for your dd. Just do it.
I would only have ever mentioned it if someone else had cooked and provided the food.
Bit weird and mean of your sibling to contest this.

Aquamarine1029 Sat 19-Jun-21 21:29:56

Your sibling should keep their mouth shut, although I don't understand why they would even know about your plan. It has nothing to do with them.

30degreesandmeltinghere Sat 19-Jun-21 21:30:02

Your sibling doesn't get to decide unless they are paying 50 /50 with you for the food.

NotRainingToday Sat 19-Jun-21 21:30:17

If it's in your slow cooker overnight, you can easily take out a portion for DD before you take the meal over.
You don't need to seek permission.

DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult Sat 19-Jun-21 21:31:04

Your sibling isn't wrong about the fact your ex should feed your dd.

They are being very weird about sharing the food that you're paying for though.

You're paying for it and making it so you get the final say.

Lulalu Sat 19-Jun-21 21:32:32

“Sibling eats a lot and has anxiety issues”

Sorry but wtf???

With every update it gets weirder...,

Womencanlift Sat 19-Jun-21 21:33:07

Why would you have even mentioned it? This whole thing is weird. Cook your meat, keep some aside go your dads and enjoy the meal. If your sibling has a problem then they can cook their own meal

BeenAsFarAsMercyAndGrand Sat 19-Jun-21 21:33:14

You're paying for all the ingredients and cooking it in your home. Why on earth did you feel the need to ask someone else's permission to take out a portion for your DD beforehand?

Do you normally lack confidence in your own decisions? The vast majority of people would have just taken out the portion without a second thought. You don't need anyone's permission.

countbackfromten Sat 19-Jun-21 21:33:17

Your sibling sounds vile and your ex sounds like a totally useless parent. Sorry you are having to deal with such awfulness.

Notaroadrunner Sat 19-Jun-21 21:33:51

Your sibling is being an ass. However I wouldn't have even mentioned it. If you are cooking some at home leave part of that there to reheat when dd gets home. Just bring what you need for the 3 dinners at your dads. Then when you cook the veg at your dads, bring a Tupperware container and put some aside to bring home for dd. If your sibling says another word tell them to fuck off and buy and cook their own dinner and then you'll get to take their share home too.

cherrypiepie Sat 19-Jun-21 21:33:51

I don't understand why you asked? Perfectly normal thing to do. Both your ex and sibling are crackers!

BeenAsFarAsMercyAndGrand Sat 19-Jun-21 21:35:01


Sibling eats a lot and has anxiety issues so probably worries there won't be enough for everyone but I bought a piece of meat that in theory should feed 8 and DD eats less than a quarter of what I do so I only need to feed 3 people really with the meat.

Provided there will be sufficient for the meal with your dad (which there will), you don't need to justify anything about this. There's absolutely no need.

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