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To think this is really grabby- bordering on cheekyfuckery?

(273 Posts)
FurCoatNoSnickers Thu 08-Aug-19 12:01:45

Ds is at a newish school - he was so happy to have been invited to a karting birthday party - turns out the whole class were invited - details were - the date- the activity-transport provided (it’s a 80 mile round trip) and a request of Amazon vouchers for present. In the last few weeks since they broke up I’ve been updated with further texts from the mother of birthday boy asking for deposits for the karting (£20) and the remainder on the day (£30) THEN that was followed up by a request for £20 for the transport hmm

This morning she (in my opinion) has the gall to request we pack a generous picnic with ice packs and pack extra so the birthday boy doesn’t have to bring anything

I was going to decline following the minibus request but ds was so happy to be invited - I think this is the final straw and I’ll instead take ds and a friend karting myself at this rate

DH says I should like it or lump it and if everyone else seems to be going then it would be a shame for ds to miss out

OnlyFoolsnMothers Thu 08-Aug-19 12:15:50

I also wouldn't worry about having to pay to help your son settle in or make friends- he's 14, hardly going to be having play dates with this woman.

LemonBreeland Thu 08-Aug-19 12:15:58

She essentially wants everyone else to pay for her sons birthday. No way would my DC be going.

Ilikecurrybest Thu 08-Aug-19 12:16:35

Wow!! I agree sounds like she may be making a profit I wonder is she has form for doing this type of thing?

Walnutwhipster Thu 08-Aug-19 12:18:58

Definitely CF!! Where do these people get off getting others to fund their child's Birthday party. We had a child in DD's class who did the same after attending years of DD's expensive Birthday activities. She didn't attend.

dontdoubtyourself Thu 08-Aug-19 12:20:19

Whole class party and texting other mums at 14? Sure.

RebootYourEngine Thu 08-Aug-19 12:20:44

How cheeky of her. I would struggle with this. On the one hand it would be a good way for your DC to make friends on the other I wouldn't feel comfortable allowing this cheeky fucker mother to think that this is acceptable.

HennyPennyHorror Thu 08-Aug-19 12:20:46

I have a 14 year old...well just turned 15 actually. They tend to pay for themselves at this age....BUT their parties aren't usually organised by their parents.

It's not that unusual at this age...but it IS unusual to invite the entire class.

AngeloMysterioso Thu 08-Aug-19 12:22:11

Since when was it £50pp for a go-karting session? I went with a few colleagues last year and it cost half that!

CalmdownJanet Thu 08-Aug-19 12:22:31

That's not bordering a cheeky fuckery, she passed the border and is miles out in the deep dark cheeky fuckery wildernesses!!

I'd be tempted to say something like "Something has come up that weekend, I am trying to jig things around so ds can go though, can I confirm with you definitely in the morning? Also just to confirm it's £70 to attend the party, plus was it Amazon voucher you requested? And a picnic, extra to include the birthday boy? Is that right? I'm not missing anything?" - it buys you time to think but lays it all out for her without you saying one way or the other how you feel about it?

Howyiz Thu 08-Aug-19 12:22:59

So, they want you to pay £70 to go to a party plus provide a lunch for their child And give a present? I would just say no!
Are the other parents happy to pay that amount? Does it really cost £50 per person to do the activity? It sounds like the party goers would be subsidising others?

MinisterforCheekyFuckery Thu 08-Aug-19 12:25:02

OnlyFools I see your point, but I work with teenagers and in many ways it's actually a lot harder for a 14 year old to settle into a new school and establish friendships than it is for a primary aged child. It's a really tough age to move schools and something like this can make a difference. That's not a criticism btw, OP, sometimes these things can't be helped! I agree that the woman is the cheekiest of cheeky fuckers and ordinarily I'd be the first to tell OP not to dance to her tune but I think in this instance I'd send DS without the Amazon vouchers as a PP suggested.

verticality Thu 08-Aug-19 12:25:29

That is absolutely insane. I would definitely decline.

Surely if you are throwing the party, you pay for everyone? She sounds cheap.

RosesAndRaindrops Thu 08-Aug-19 12:25:58

BORDERING on Cfuckery?! Erm, it's full on cheeky fuckery!
Two kids here, had loads of parties over the years where I've done parties like soft play, bowling or laser zone etc.
You do NOT charge the parents for their child, you pay yourself!
If you can't afford then party more within your means and hire a hall and do a nice buffet and party tunes..
Kids won't care and still enjoy themselves.

Groovee Thu 08-Aug-19 12:26:28

That's not an invite to a party! When my Ds went karting, I paid £200 for 10 of them including food and unlimited drinks. The place did it all for me.

HunterHearstHelmsley Thu 08-Aug-19 12:27:06

She must be planning on a massive profit. No way would ho karting and transport for 30 cost over 2k.

Summerwellunderway Thu 08-Aug-19 12:27:07

For his 17 the you will be finding driving lessons +car!!
Bow out now.
Your ds must know it's a rip off!!

Bourbonbiccy Thu 08-Aug-19 12:28:52

That sounds ridiculous, have you looked on line how much one ticket for the karting is, as they have obviously not booked a party package as there is no food.

It's such a tough one as I wouldn't want my son missing out but I think she is taking the mick.

I may send him and forget the card with the present in.

flashingbeacon Thu 08-Aug-19 12:32:01

Jeezo, I was completely unimpressed when ds was invited to a paintball party but had to pay if he wanted paintballs.

I cannot believe this is the norm in the class. What did the other mothers actually say? If it is ds should plan a week in the Algarve for his birthday!

Sallycinammonbangsthedruminthe Thu 08-Aug-19 12:33:11

For what its worth I bet more are dropping out than going OP....No one in their right mind would do this.

FabulouslyFab Thu 08-Aug-19 12:33:13

Can you not take him yourself and meet them there?

Sallycinammonbangsthedruminthe Thu 08-Aug-19 12:35:17

I would love to see how many actually turned up on the day out of the whole class!!!

AntonsMumsTeeth Thu 08-Aug-19 12:36:06

Blimey no way I'm sorry if your teen misses out but that's really expensive and downright rude of the other mum.

YouTheCat Thu 08-Aug-19 12:36:50

No way would I pay that for Go-Karting.

Arrange something else for your ds.

GooodMythicalMorning Thu 08-Aug-19 12:37:15

wow yes, sounds extremely cfery I would not be going and doing something cheaper with the boys.

Sallycinammonbangsthedruminthe Thu 08-Aug-19 12:38:09

Pay your son 50 quid not to go bet he will get more pleasure out of the cash and you still get off lightly!!!

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