To think this is really grabby- bordering on cheekyfuckery?

[FurCoatNoSnickers]

Ds is at a newish school - he was so happy to have been invited to a karting birthday party - turns out the whole class were invited - details were - the date- the activity-transport provided (it’s a 80 mile round trip) and a request of Amazon vouchers for present. In the last few weeks since they broke up I’ve been updated with further texts from the mother of birthday boy asking for deposits for the karting (£20) and the remainder on the day (£30) THEN that was followed up by a request for £20 for the transport

This morning she (in my opinion) has the gall to request we pack a generous picnic with ice packs and pack extra so the birthday boy doesn’t have to bring anything

I was going to decline following the minibus request but ds was so happy to be invited - I think this is the final straw and I’ll instead take ds and a friend karting myself at this rate

DH says I should like it or lump it and if everyone else seems to be going then it would be a shame for ds to miss out

A while class party at 14 sounds strange aswell. Surely he should be inviting his actual friends.

She has clearly invited too many to actually afford it and is a massive CF!

I would send a text saying ‘I’m sorry but you seem to want me to pay for my son to attend your child’s birthday party??’ Or similar.

Just wow.

£70 a head is unbelievable. She’ll be making quite a profit on that. Her son will probably get a free place anyway due to the size of the booking.

It’s not bordering on cheeky fuckery. It’s blatant and outrageous cheeky fuckery. Surely the other parents cannot be agreeing to a £100 day out for someone else’s birthday.

New school or not I would be declining. That’s not a party invitation.

I would arrange something else on the day either 1-1 with my son or a family day out.

This will not be the only chance for your son to make friends and not every opportunity needs to be grabbed.

Fuck me, some people have no shame.

So it seems that Extreme Cheeky-Fuckery is an established thing now - and this woman is Gold Medal!

I like the thought of the itemised text confirming (and showcasing) he sheer effrontery of it, as a previous poster suggested. You could even add a "WOW! That's over £2,000 for a kids' party! Who would have guessed"

And include all the other parents in the text so they can see it in black and white. It may not be just you who thinks it's a money-grab.

I’d check the website for prices.
She’s surpassed CF of the highest. £70 per head? Who the fuck charges kids to attend a party?
My DD is 14 and it’s usually Nando’s, cinema outings which we do pay for but it’s not a ‘party’ just going out for a birthday and then it’s only £25ish
I’ve never heard the like of this chancer!!

Get a cheap sim and text the event organiser advising that they are being extremely rude inviting people to a birthday party which traditionally and etiquette wise people are not expecting to pay. Then constantly charging for what normally the parents would be paying for, it’s been misleading and quite an eye opener to the absolute cheeky fuckery of these parents. If they can’t afford it fine - but don’t mislead people with an invitation not outlining the fact it’s an event and the cost...

She invited the kids in his class to a birthday party and then tells them all that they will all be paying for themselves and feeding her child too?!! hahaha no

I can’t get over who at 14 still has a “party” and actually expects presents! They are not four anymore. The mother should have sent a invite out saying Tom is celebrating his birthday on xxx at xxx the cost will be xxx including transport text me if you would like to join us and I can arrange

A joke at any age but 14??????? Don’t 14 year olds have a sleepover, watch a scary film, maybe have a cheeky VK and a pizza at a cost of little to
Nothing to the parents.

that is awful awful awful.and id want to somehow make it known.but im assuming your ds is oblivious to all this wrong doing.and him being at a new school and it being his whole class invited is like dammit territory.because this is such a horrid age anyway where friendships and feelings are concerned and being new school and then being the only one left out would be horrible for you lad.so not for them but soley for your ds i would do it.if you could afford it.but so many inlcuding me wouldnt be able to give this much money for party so it makes me even more angry.
if someone has a party i always thought you paid.

She's making a tidy profit out of this, I'm sure. She wants everyone to pay for activity, transport, get her son Amazon vouchers, AND get bring food along? That's outrageous. Where is the 'hosting' and having a party part of it if they're paying for none of it? And as pp said because it's a big group, your ds won't get much time doing the activity itself. There'll be lots of queuing and waiting around.

Say no to her 'invite', Take your son along with one or two of his friends on another day.

People like this only keep getting away with this sort of behaviour because people are too polite to say anything.

Ditch it. I've NEVER heard of anything resembling this! The most CF birthday thing I've had to deal with was DC being invited to birthday party park picnic ( already cheap as there was no activity of any kind) then the parents we requested to pack a full picnic for DCs, plus extras to share please and if we wanted to stay/have a drink then bring that with you too...

turns out the whole class were invited - details were - the date- the activity-transport provided (it’s a 80 mile round trip) and a request of Amazon vouchers for present
So she's basically waited until school was finished for the term and then changed the rules?

She's def a cf and an opportunist.
She'll be getting a group-booking discount for the karting itself, they also do packages for groups that include food/drinks to make it cheaper.
I bet she isn't passing these discounts on to you all though.
She just wants you all to pay for the entirety of her sons birthday - including providing the food!

Arrange your own day out and ds can invite his choice of people he is/wants to be friends with.

Are you sure she said pack a generous picnic and bring extra for my son?! That sounds unbelievable.

Agree that I’ve never heard of a 14th ‘party’ like that.

I'd check website as can't believe it costs that much per head. My dh organises school trips to places like this and it usually costs less.

If your ds really wants to go, I'd offer to take him there to avoid bus fare. Pack lunch only for him and probably wouldn't give gift vouchers just card, but if you wanted to do that then no more than £5 worth if anyone has the gall to mention it to you then you can retort with party hosts usually pay for their guests not expect them play for the experience ,food,travel and a gift....

I can't imagine at 14 your ds would be that bothered at going if you explained your circumstances to him, nor the birthday boy be bothered by one or two no shows if the whole class was invited

How much?

Just looked near me..

Kids party £30 per head, lunch box included in that price (sandwhich, fruit, chocolate biscuit, crisps, yoghurt and drink).
2 x 10 minute track session, exclusive use of track during party, you just fetch kids and cake.

Junior session - £25 for 20 mins track time or £30 for 30 mins track time.

She is absolutely taking the piss!

At 14, paying for yourself is not that unusual. Mum organising it is odd at that age. She's organising a whole class party like he's at primary, but expecting everyone to pay for themselves like teens. It's an odd mismatch.

@whothedaddy- I just checked it’s £35 and that includes and cake and food ??????

This is very difficult because you risk your son being the only one or one of the few missing out, I get you expected it to be paid for. But that would have been a huge cost for thirty people. She should have made it clear though on the invite. It's a newish school so maybe this is normal for them all.

It's tough being the new kid. If you can afford it I would.

The picnic is proper cheeky fucker though.

I've just looked at the prices for our local karting place and its £35 for two 15 minute sessions for that age group.

I'd go with CalmDownJanet's post at 12.22.

Mum sorts out a trip out for 14 yo son and his friends = you expect to pay

Mum invites people to her ds’ 14 yo birthday party = don’t expect to pay.

Simples.

We’re you informed before you accepted you’d have to pay?

She is a CF and the worst thing is that she keeps adding on costs so people that said they could come at the beginning would be obliged. If you can afford it I would let him go this time and then be more cautious another time (probably wouldn't bother with the Amazon vouchers though). If you can't afford it then just make an excuse up. I am pretty sure all the parents are talking about it!

Op, I suspect with thirty people she has exclusive use of the venue for a given period. Hence rh costs. Do you know whats included in "the remainder of the day". . I wouldn't go to the place she's trying to steal from you all.