To think this is really grabby- bordering on cheekyfuckery?

[FurCoatNoSnickers]

Ds is at a newish school - he was so happy to have been invited to a karting birthday party - turns out the whole class were invited - details were - the date- the activity-transport provided (it’s a 80 mile round trip) and a request of Amazon vouchers for present. In the last few weeks since they broke up I’ve been updated with further texts from the mother of birthday boy asking for deposits for the karting (£20) and the remainder on the day (£30) THEN that was followed up by a request for £20 for the transport

This morning she (in my opinion) has the gall to request we pack a generous picnic with ice packs and pack extra so the birthday boy doesn’t have to bring anything

I was going to decline following the minibus request but ds was so happy to be invited - I think this is the final straw and I’ll instead take ds and a friend karting myself at this rate

DH says I should like it or lump it and if everyone else seems to be going then it would be a shame for ds to miss out

So it's not even the kid's birthday??

@Bluntness100 - it's £50 for the karting (£20 deposit plus balance of £30 on the day) plus £20 for transport.

I'd be tempted to text the whole group 'Just to let you know - according to their website, kartingworld charges £35/head for birthday parties and that includes cake and food - so they seem to have made a mistake calculating your package, as you've quoted us £50/head without any food'.

And just like a stag, as more people drop out it puts the price up for everyone else and so you keep getting asked for more and more money

£70!!! I hop you realise that you are paying for siblings and probably a few adults/ selected few besties who don’t have to pay. There is no way it will cost this much per head.

I think you've done the right thing - especially if you do what your son asks and just make an excuse. I don't think we should teach our kids they have to spend insane amounts of money or follow the crowd in doing something bonkers just to make friends. I do agree that there's no need to make a big thing of calling the cheeky woman out though.

I also agree with pp who've said it's normal to pay your own way at 14 but not if your mum has organised a whole class party! My eldest is the same kind of age and they'll arrange to do stuff for each others birthdays but pay their own way.

I was going to say that. If not so many people are going as time goes on, the costs will increase.

What exactly has he ‘sacrificed’? She’s organised a day trip at profit, no party. She’s making at least £15 per head at 30 kids = £450

Your son will not be missed at this 'party' because the others will not really even know him, if he's new to the school. A child's party is not something you pay to go to, is it, unless you are taking another uninvited sibling? As 'nousernameforme' pointed out, there isn't a set class at school for 14 year olds, so where have the 30 come from! I would decline the invitation and not send a card or a voucher either.

Sorry, I don’t quite understand. This is the boy’s treat for being elected House Captain at school? And she’s decided that the other kids should fund this extravaganza in his honour?
Seriously? Hard to believe, really.

20 quid's worth of diesel in my car would probably get it the best part of 120 miles so if this were my kid I would rather drive them myself. And seeing as I have a 7 seater, I would probably invite the rest of the kids my child knew as well.

No fecking way I would be paying the best part of £100 for any of my kids to go to a birthday party I am afraid.

Also a mini bus holds 16 and it won’t be £320 for that journey 🙄

Its absolutely insane to suggest this is her son's party - but is the pricing really insane for a go-karting trip 80 miles away? That's the question you have to ask yourself. If I was you I would view it as an excursion where he can hang out with his new mates. Our local go-karting is £30 for 30mins. 80 miles sounds like a long journey and hiring buses is expensive as they also have to wait around for the return journey. Is this woman a CF...absolutely she is a shocking...but should your son pull out? If you can afford it I don't think he should.

I'm guessing the extra costs, and mention of the extra bus, are a CF's way of dealing with lots of people deciding that they can no longer go. The bus is meant to make you think everyone is signing up.

Stand firm.

I'd let your son go for his sake. He would prefer this than to just go on a separate day with one friend. It is cheeky and grabby but if he is in a new school and he wants to go I would suck it up. annoying as it is.

My son isn’t going.

===================== CANCEL THE CHEQUE

I think the person I'm sorry for is the birthday boy. Either his mum has brought him up to be as entitled and grabby as she is, in which case he will get a come-uppance at some point - or he's a perfectly nice kid heading for the humiliation of a birthday party that no one comes to.

What a ridiculous situation. Hope your ds integrates well.

Hahaha.

In honour of my son becoming house captain, I'm having his birthday 4 months early. Oh, and I won't be paying, but I'll be charging other parents for the pleasure, and making a profit.

Should be nominated for the 2019 CF of the year.

Glad you're not going, as others have said it's a valuable lesson for your son to learn and Thorpe Park will be much more fun.

Bluntness, you have misread the OP - it says remainder ON the day rather than remainder of the day. In other words, £20 deposit and £30 balance on the day = £50 cost of karting.

I had to go back and read it twice as I rushed through it.

Surely it's going to cost you more than £70 to take ds and 2 friends to Thorpe Park?

Wait, so it’s not even his birthday but he wants Amazon vouchers anyway?? What’s the betting he’ll also want presents again in December when it IS his birthday?

@mrsm43s- nope should be slightly less with plan-ahead tickets and passes already owned
I’ll make sure I pack a huge picnic -with plenty of ice packs.

DS(15) and his mates arrange birthday outings that everyone has to pay for themselves, usually the present is everyone chips in to pay for the birthday boys ticket, but that's the boys arranging it between themselves, if it was a parent arranging it they'd pay for it.

Parents arranging a 14 year olds party and talking to the other parents seems really odd to me, even if I've arranged something DS texts his friends, I'll only hear from parents if they want to check something or there's a problem.

Surely it's going to cost you more than £70 to take ds and 2 friends to Thorpe Park?

Maybe, maybe not, but they won't be sitting on the sidelines wasting about for half the day.

At that age they do tend to organise themselves and pay for themselves ime BUT parents aren't involved and unless it's a very close friend the paying for themselves is INSTEAD of a present.

It's not even his birthday until December WTAF is it about "sacrificing" his birthday

Will you be able to find out how long they actually spend in the kart? I bet it's not long if that many are going.

Surely it's going to cost you more than £70 to take ds and 2 friends to Thorpe Park?

Irrelevant, it’s the demand to prop up someone else’s birthday choice that is the issue imo