To think this is really grabby- bordering on cheekyfuckery?

[FurCoatNoSnickers]

Ds is at a newish school - he was so happy to have been invited to a karting birthday party - turns out the whole class were invited - details were - the date- the activity-transport provided (it’s a 80 mile round trip) and a request of Amazon vouchers for present. In the last few weeks since they broke up I’ve been updated with further texts from the mother of birthday boy asking for deposits for the karting (£20) and the remainder on the day (£30) THEN that was followed up by a request for £20 for the transport

This morning she (in my opinion) has the gall to request we pack a generous picnic with ice packs and pack extra so the birthday boy doesn’t have to bring anything

I was going to decline following the minibus request but ds was so happy to be invited - I think this is the final straw and I’ll instead take ds and a friend karting myself at this rate

DH says I should like it or lump it and if everyone else seems to be going then it would be a shame for ds to miss out

I remember a couple of parties like that when ds was a young teen, to say my eyebrows shot off my forehead was an understatement!

Sorry I'd also do the amazon vouchers if you can afford it for the Simple reason again this is a new school, you may not know protocol and your son doesn't want to be that kid who doesn't get a gift.

Thought I'd heard it all. It's not a stag party, it's a "birthday" party. Complete cheek trying to extract that amount of money out of anyone and expect them to provide food and a present too. Gobsmacked.

Tell her you and DS will meet her there and you'll pay on the door

@FurCoatNoSnickers I reckon there's an extra bus because classmates are funding the extended familys trip.

Reply and tell her "good news, it says on their website that a group party is only £35 per person so you won't need to charge £70 pp" and see what she says.

Fuck that shit-it’d be a no from me-she is taking the piss completely and making a profit into the bargain!

Birthday parties in the holidays are tricky enough. I'd be surprised if anyone turns up to this one. I wouldn't on principle alone.

Which bit of that day is a party?

She is making a tidy profit

30 kids at a minimum of £70 each is £2,100. And that’s without the amazon gift cards

No way would I be paying for my child to do this. It’s not a party it’s a money spinner

That's as much as a -cheeky- wedding cost! And you won't even get a sit down dry chicken meal for it! Bloody hell I feel like I'm being negative today on Mumsnet but some people really are dicks! I'm going to hug all the nice people I know ASAP so I don't despair too much! You're totally right to think this is unreasonable.

That's outrageous and shameful. Not a person I'd want much to do with in the future. HOWEVER, that being said, IF you're able to swing it financially, you might just want to look at it as the price of helping you son get acquainted with the new people he's going to be spending time with. It is s great chance for him to meet people. Sucks that it came in this form, with such a greedy and entitled parent. If it would be too much of a strain on your finances, then that's a different story and you'd have to do what you have to do to pay the bills.

I would have to reply to all and say that the go karting company are taking the piss. Your friend recently hosted one at the exact same place and it was £35 per head including food. How awful of the company to charge £50 for the same thing!

Your DS will survive, expecting to pay out £50/£70 for a birthday party is totally unreasonable.

@SayOohLaLa- I really don’t know these people and my son is really timid. If it were just me I wouldnt hesitate to say exactly that.

I have done a bit of investigation myself - BBM is very active in local clubs and committees. God knows has she has so much time to do this (maybe she’s used to running these sorts of things)

I was tempted to post a screenshot response to me asking if it was a school thing or an actual party- then decided I could do without that being plastered all over the Daily Mail.

Her reply (I’ll paraphrase)
“XXXXX has enjoyed being the House Captain so much that he wanted to extend this to all members of the group and he has sacrificed his birthday in December to have this instead”

And the following which is copy and pasted.

“I had to ask for contributions as it works out a little too expensive all round”

Ds has been brilliant and instead I’m taking him and a couple of mates to Thorpe Park- he’s very happy but has asked that I tell them we cannot go because something else has come up and not because we think they’re greedy 😂

And for what it’s worth I have never heard of a whole class party at this age either.

I do agree that as he's new to the school, it would be good for him to go if at all possible (which it might not be). It is hard to break into established groups when you're 14.

However, I would ring the venue and check they're open to the public at the day/time of the 'party' (and she's not privately hired it out), then go and pay for DS separately.

I think I'd do a £5 Amazon voucher in a card for birthday boy, or buy a different gift card (like some gaming one or something that the mum can't use).

Cross-posted. Sounds like a great idea to take DS and a couple of friends to Thorpe Park instead.

Op,some posters as usual ar going over board, urging uou to go after this woman. To do a bit of damage here.

As this is your sons new school,personally I'd wait to see what was involved in the party to understand if the costs are justified. Because I'm not sure you know what the "remainder of the day " is. I strongly suspect she's charging at cost. She's only Charging twenty quid for go karting which will be right.

And to accuse another parent of theft, is going to make your son a pariah if you're wrong. Which you likely are.

Yes it's an expensive day out. Yes you didn't know you were expected to pay. Yes the picnic is cheeky.

But I'd really keep my powder dry here. Consider if you can afford it. And if you can, then consider your son and how he's trying to integrate into his new school and make friends, and how pulling out and landing the mother or others with your costs will impact him.

As she has had to hire another bus, I'd assume all the kids are going and she's a bigger take up than expected.

OP, this post is definitely finding it's way into the National Press :)

I wouldn't call this cheeky, it's an out and out scam and people saying she'll make a profit, just a bit, she'll probably Net over £1k from this including the vouchers.

Here's what I'd do. I'd contact the/a Go-Karting place, get some costs. I'd contact a coach firm, get some costs. Then I'd approach all of the parents, original party parents included, and say that you are organising a trip for the weekend before, £35 per person for karting, £15 for bus, no food or gift required and let them all pick a party.

But what class was it for. Secondary isnt like primary you get your form room where you spend like 10 mins a day and one lesson a week. All other classes are made up of different people because of options.

Personally i think people arent as keen as she is making out otherwise she wouldn't be chasing for payment.

She's being a CF'r, and you will be enabling her and letting her get away with it if you go.

Sounds like she's agreed to this huge party for her spoilt little soldier ( who wants an entire class inviting to a party at 14??) without working out how she's going to pay for it ..now she thinks she's hit on an idea to pay for it and turn a tidy profit.

Only an idiot would go along with this. I'd tell your son that unfortunately it's not really a party, but you can do the same day with him and a friend another time.

Your son is 14, there are lots of valuable lessons for him to learn here;
1.There are people out there who are rude

1. Some people want to be your friend for what you can materially bring to the table
2. If someone demonstrates their intentions are not pure nor clear do not give them the time of day
3. There are people out there who will try to take advantage of you, don't let them

OP don't teach your son to be a suck up, an expensive one at that. How about on another weekend letting DS invite a handful the kids he likes the look of over to hang out or go to the movies perhaps bowling. Don't be a sheep.

'Sacrificed is birthday'.....what a load of shite.

Your son will have a much better day out at Thorpe park with his mates I'm sure.

Sounds more like the arrangements for a stag

@WWYD2016- I don’t think I’m a sheep. I am mindful at how my actions will affect my nearest and dearest.