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AIBU?

To think children improve your life

154 replies

gramh · 23/03/2019 08:12

Don’t they?

OP posts:
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RiddleyW · 23/03/2019 08:13

I think you need to be more specific.

My DS improved my life but your mileage may vary.

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sar302 · 23/03/2019 08:13

Nope. Its lovely, and different to how it was. But my pre-children life rocked too!

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Sexnotgender · 23/03/2019 08:13

Depends what you want from life.

My children improve mine immeasurably.

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Littleraindrop15 · 23/03/2019 08:14

Not always..

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echt · 23/03/2019 08:16

YABVVVVVVVU

Not for everyone.

I wanted my child and she is delightful. I wanted more, but couldn't have them. Had I had more. I might have found it terrible, I don't know because it didn't happen.

Fucking silly question.

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Playmobilpeacock · 23/03/2019 08:17

They haven't improved mine.

Made it very different but not better.

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echt · 23/03/2019 08:17

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BlueMerchant · 23/03/2019 08:18

They have improved my life. I have evolved into a person I want to be and have brought out so many hidden qualities I didn't know I possessed.

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TapasForTwo · 23/03/2019 08:18

I'm with sar302. DD has changed my life immeasurably, but it isn't better or worse, just different.

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OwlinaTree · 23/03/2019 08:19

They certainly add another dimension. My DH has been awake since 5:30 with one of ours so I doubt he agrees with you!!

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malificent7 · 23/03/2019 08:19

Some things have improved and others git worsw.
Am i a nore grounded, sensible person with a beautiful child-yes.
Do i gave any money - no.
Would i change it- definately not but i would like some help from her estranged dad financially.

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user1493413286 · 23/03/2019 08:21

It depends how you measure it - on finances, the effect on my career, my level of exhaustion then no but on my overall happiness and enjoyment in life and depth of love then definitely and that far outweighs anything negative

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Flamingosnbears · 23/03/2019 08:24

Children certainly do give your life a purpose but it does depend on how maternal you are anyone can give birth but it's another thing entirely to be a Mother

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VirginiaWolfHall · 23/03/2019 08:24

Well I’ve found having children has changed my life, but I would argue over whether they’ve actually improved it. In practical terms, I would say my life is worse now: more stressed, less sleep (they’re teenagers now but I’ve not managed to sleep well since dd1 was born), much less money, less freedom, and going back to the anxiety: since becoming a parent, I have experienced a level of vulnerability that is like nothing else; my happiness is based solely upon the health and happiness of two others. It is also draining, thankless, and the domestic workload has more than doubled.

Spiritually though, I would say it has improved. I am not the person I was pre kids. However; whether I would be this same person after fifteen years of NOT having kids I’ll never know.

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pallasathena · 23/03/2019 09:45

I'm a grandmother and love spending time with my grandchildren. Every moment feels incredibly precious because a/ I'm aware of how fast those early years slip away and b/ I have the time, the patience, the money for little treats, the nice home and garden for them to run around in...all of the things I didn't have when my own children were small.
So, do children improve your life? Yes, when they're little and totally dependent on you.
No, when they're stroppy, financially draining teens and self absorbed young adults.
And yes, when they've grown and flown and produced the next generation of adorable tots.

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Dimsumlosesum · 23/03/2019 09:47

Not for everyone.

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droningtraffic · 23/03/2019 09:47

This is going to depend on the individual.

My life has improved massively.

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WhoKnewBeefStew · 23/03/2019 09:47

Nope

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FineWordsForAPorcupine · 23/03/2019 10:03

Totally depends on the situation. Which is why people should always have access to contraception and safe, legal abortion services because no, children aren't always going to "make your life better".

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juneau · 23/03/2019 10:09

Depends how you measure it and what your life was like before. Based on your statement then I would have to say that no, that hasn't been my experience. I adore them and wouldn't be without them now, but my life has had huge limitations placed on it by having kids. So many things that I could or would have done without them are impossible now. As the main caregiver your life is not your own. If younger women ask me now whether they should have kids I encourage them to think long and hard about it. If I'd known before what I know now I'd have stayed child-free.

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stopitandtidyupp · 23/03/2019 10:16

Pros and cons to both sides like everything

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SoyDora · 23/03/2019 10:19

Well surely it depends what measurement we’re using?

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IntentsAndPorpoises · 23/03/2019 10:21

I don't think so. I love my two, but one has ASD so our life is like one, long, exhausting battle. And I'm not sure what the up side is? I don't think they give my life meaning, my life now is mainly drudgery and doing stuff for other people's benefit.

I obviously can't change it, but I think my life would have been exciting and enjoyable if I hadn't had children.

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IntentsAndPorpoises · 23/03/2019 10:23

@juneau exactly. If I had known exactly what it was like, good and bad, I would not have stayed child free. I often imagine what I could have done or achieved.

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AnnieMay100 · 23/03/2019 10:23

They did for me but not everyone enjoys being a parent or takes to parenting naturally/maternally

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