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To think children improve your life

(155 Posts)
gramh Sat 23-Mar-19 08:12:46

Don’t they?

RiddleyW Sat 23-Mar-19 08:13:36

I think you need to be more specific.

My DS improved my life but your mileage may vary.

sar302 Sat 23-Mar-19 08:13:44

Nope. Its lovely, and different to how it was. But my pre-children life rocked too!

Sexnotgender Sat 23-Mar-19 08:13:52

Depends what you want from life.

My children improve mine immeasurably.

Littleraindrop15 Sat 23-Mar-19 08:14:01

Not always..

echt Sat 23-Mar-19 08:16:18


Not for everyone.

I wanted my child and she is delightful. I wanted more, but couldn't have them. Had I had more. I might have found it terrible, I don't know because it didn't happen.

Fucking silly question.

Playmobilpeacock Sat 23-Mar-19 08:17:36

They haven't improved mine.

Made it very different but not better.

echt Sat 23-Mar-19 08:17:42

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

BlueMerchant Sat 23-Mar-19 08:18:18

They have improved my life. I have evolved into a person I want to be and have brought out so many hidden qualities I didn't know I possessed.

TapasForTwo Sat 23-Mar-19 08:18:24

I'm with sar302. DD has changed my life immeasurably, but it isn't better or worse, just different.

OwlinaTree Sat 23-Mar-19 08:19:01

They certainly add another dimension. My DH has been awake since 5:30 with one of ours so I doubt he agrees with you!!

malificent7 Sat 23-Mar-19 08:19:31

Some things have improved and others git worsw.
Am i a nore grounded, sensible person with a beautiful child-yes.
Do i gave any money - no.
Would i change it- definately not but i would like some help from her estranged dad financially.

user1493413286 Sat 23-Mar-19 08:21:06

It depends how you measure it - on finances, the effect on my career, my level of exhaustion then no but on my overall happiness and enjoyment in life and depth of love then definitely and that far outweighs anything negative

Flamingosnbears Sat 23-Mar-19 08:24:01

Children certainly do give your life a purpose but it does depend on how maternal you are anyone can give birth but it's another thing entirely to be a Mother

VirginiaWolfHall Sat 23-Mar-19 08:24:11

Well I’ve found having children has changed my life, but I would argue over whether they’ve actually improved it. In practical terms, I would say my life is worse now: more stressed, less sleep (they’re teenagers now but I’ve not managed to sleep well since dd1 was born), much less money, less freedom, and going back to the anxiety: since becoming a parent, I have experienced a level of vulnerability that is like nothing else; my happiness is based solely upon the health and happiness of two others. It is also draining, thankless, and the domestic workload has more than doubled.

Spiritually though, I would say it has improved. I am not the person I was pre kids. However; whether I would be this same person after fifteen years of NOT having kids I’ll never know.

pallasathena Sat 23-Mar-19 09:45:44

I'm a grandmother and love spending time with my grandchildren. Every moment feels incredibly precious because a/ I'm aware of how fast those early years slip away and b/ I have the time, the patience, the money for little treats, the nice home and garden for them to run around in...all of the things I didn't have when my own children were small.
So, do children improve your life? Yes, when they're little and totally dependent on you.
No, when they're stroppy, financially draining teens and self absorbed young adults.
And yes, when they've grown and flown and produced the next generation of adorable tots.

Dimsumlosesum Sat 23-Mar-19 09:47:02

Not for everyone.

droningtraffic Sat 23-Mar-19 09:47:36

This is going to depend on the individual.

My life has improved massively.

WhoKnewBeefStew Sat 23-Mar-19 09:47:51


FineWordsForAPorcupine Sat 23-Mar-19 10:03:57

Totally depends on the situation. Which is why people should always have access to contraception and safe, legal abortion services because no, children aren't always going to "make your life better".

juneau Sat 23-Mar-19 10:09:46

Depends how you measure it and what your life was like before. Based on your statement then I would have to say that no, that hasn't been my experience. I adore them and wouldn't be without them now, but my life has had huge limitations placed on it by having kids. So many things that I could or would have done without them are impossible now. As the main caregiver your life is not your own. If younger women ask me now whether they should have kids I encourage them to think long and hard about it. If I'd known before what I know now I'd have stayed child-free.

stopitandtidyupp Sat 23-Mar-19 10:16:10

Pros and cons to both sides like everything

SoyDora Sat 23-Mar-19 10:19:43

Well surely it depends what measurement we’re using?

IntentsAndPorpoises Sat 23-Mar-19 10:21:01

I don't think so. I love my two, but one has ASD so our life is like one, long, exhausting battle. And I'm not sure what the up side is? I don't think they give my life meaning, my life now is mainly drudgery and doing stuff for other people's benefit.

I obviously can't change it, but I think my life would have been exciting and enjoyable if I hadn't had children.

IntentsAndPorpoises Sat 23-Mar-19 10:23:03

@juneau exactly. If I had known exactly what it was like, good and bad, I would not have stayed child free. I often imagine what I could have done or achieved.

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