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AIBU - just found porn on Husband's phone

(850 Posts)
JerryLarryTerryGarry Sun 15-Apr-18 19:03:46

Had lovely family lunch out, DH, myself, DD and DS. Came home, DH has to cut the grass. Leaves his phone with me whilst he does to view new family member photo's, then I find 3 videos and 2 photo's of downloaded stuff that shocked me to the core. Didn't jump down his throat at first as I know his brother has sent him things before that he shouldn't have, but then he freely admitted he had downloaded them and his defence was - It's lesbian porn. Threw a glass of water in his face and shoved him out the door and told him not to return. Does anyone else tolerate porn? I don't even know.

TipTopTat Sun 15-Apr-18 19:04:40

I watch more porn than my Husband.

Get a fucking grip.

Thesmallthings Sun 15-Apr-18 19:04:54

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ThroughThickAndThin01 Sun 15-Apr-18 19:05:17

I’m fine with porn.

SneakyGremlins Sun 15-Apr-18 19:05:48

Oh fgs. You threw a glass of water in his face? Lucky escape for him.

rainbowduck Sun 15-Apr-18 19:06:12

YABU

JerryLarryTerryGarry Sun 15-Apr-18 19:06:26

There's no need to swear

lindyhopy Sun 15-Apr-18 19:06:42

wow, talk about overreacting!

UserInfinityplus1 Sun 15-Apr-18 19:06:48

Blimey. I doubt he'd want to come back after that reaction

TenancyTroublesAgain Sun 15-Apr-18 19:06:56

It's porn not videos of his colleague FFS.

ilovesooty Sun 15-Apr-18 19:06:59

Whether or not porn is acceptable to you you have assaulted him and that is not acceptable.

NNchangedforthis Sun 15-Apr-18 19:07:03

I don’t want it shoved into my face. But if my partner watched occasionally I wouldn’t care really.
How do you know it wasn’t something his brother sent him? Things sent in WhatsApp tend to download automatically so it’s entirely possible it’s not something he sought out and downloaded for himself.

JerryLarryTerryGarry Sun 15-Apr-18 19:07:03

Sneaky - yes that was me holding back. Big time.

Writersblock2 Sun 15-Apr-18 19:07:14

It’s perfectly okay to not want porn in your (or your husband’s life). If people actually read at all and did any research they would realise how bloody awful porn is - for your mental and physical health, for your relationship, for the poor women who work in the industry, and society at large. Unfortunately all some people care about is their own orgasms.

So if the OP is genuine, then yes, you have every right not to tolerate.

TenancyTroublesAgain Sun 15-Apr-18 19:07:26

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ibicus Sun 15-Apr-18 19:07:43

I think porn gives an unhealthy view of sex and he's watching other women have sex and getting off on it. That's ok with some people and not others. I think that's up to you to decide. X

U2HasTheEdge Sun 15-Apr-18 19:07:57

It would be marriage over for me and he knows it.

I wouldn't throw water in his face though.

Scoogle Sun 15-Apr-18 19:08:04

Strange dichotomy here. Everyone can own their own sexuality, but the porn industry is grim and abusive. so maybe you need to have a chat.

SneakyGremlins Sun 15-Apr-18 19:08:05

So you're saying you'd happily have assaulted him more seriously? How generous of you to "hold back".

JerryLarryTerryGarry Sun 15-Apr-18 19:08:37

NN - I asked him and he said it was him that did it.

Llanali Sun 15-Apr-18 19:08:42

I watch more porn than my husband. I’m an adult. It has no bearing on how attractive I find my husband or my relationship.

You are massively unreasonable.

ThroughThickAndThin01 Sun 15-Apr-18 19:08:42

If that was really you holding back OP, he really needs to get out. What else do you control him over?

bigchris Sun 15-Apr-18 19:09:21

It's ok for women to perve over the diet coke man though,,,,

Or torso of the week in heat

But the sun can't have topless any more

mancmummy1414 Sun 15-Apr-18 19:09:22

The porn industry is extremely exploitive and anti-feminist. Many of the women involved are coerced into doing it or do it because they feel they have no other option financially.
Nobody wants to grow up to be a porn star I’m sure.
YANBU, (other than the water thing - that was uncalled for)

Dandellion Sun 15-Apr-18 19:09:31

Sounds to me like he's the one who should be leaving you.

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