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Has he lost interest?

(127 Posts)
Feelingweirdaboutit Fri 09-Mar-18 23:14:00

Had second/third date with new guy, he seemed very keen and we were getting on very well - similar interests and outlooks, long chats when we met and enjoyed getting to know him.

After our last date (yesterday) he has gone a bit distant. It started and ended a little awkwardly but the experience was good, we were making each other laugh and chatting away as if we were old friends. I was a little late at the beginning (apologised) and then went up to the wrong person (mortifying) as was in a panic and they’re both very tall. He must have seen but kept quiet... we then went for food and had a nice time before he invited me to his “for a drink” - I accepted as didn’t want it to be awkward but declined the offer if anything more at his, saying I wanted to get to know him better but that we would soon. Lots of kissing though.

He messaged to check is got home safe but apart from a banterous reply to my message back, there has been nothing. I still don’t know how I feel about him but did like what I saw and got the feeling he was into me. Feel a bit shit now

Whatshallidonowpeople Fri 09-Mar-18 23:16:26

If he has lost interest because you wouldn't do more, then he isn't for you.

Feelingweirdaboutit Fri 09-Mar-18 23:18:20

I do feel like he genuinely saw something in me though - kept talking about all the things we could do together etc, in a nice way. Just felt really natural

Masonmumny12 Fri 09-Mar-18 23:20:16

Don't you dare feel shit! X he is probably acting like things because he expected sex and you didn't give it to him...... Worst case scenario he was only playing Mr Nice so sex would be on the table sooner rather than later x

Feelingweirdaboutit Fri 09-Mar-18 23:24:48

You think? Is this a dealbreaker then, if he messages again soon? I did feel like he genuinely liked me.

arethereanyleftatall Fri 09-Mar-18 23:24:49

It sounds like you wanted different things from these dates.

keepingbees Fri 09-Mar-18 23:25:35

Men will say anything to get a leg over. Sounds like he was paving the way to get you to sleep with him and now he realises you want more than that he's lost interest. I'd mark this one up to experience!

Whatshallidonowpeople Fri 09-Mar-18 23:26:03

How long has it been since you heard from him? Have you messaged him?

Feelingweirdaboutit Fri 09-Mar-18 23:26:11

Actually I do feel like he’s after a relationship though.

Feelingweirdaboutit Fri 09-Mar-18 23:27:22

Heard from him at midday and he messaged immediately after I left asking me to let him know when I was home safe.

demirose87 Fri 09-Mar-18 23:29:42

If he's lost interest because you didn't have sex with him, then he's not worth your time as he would have probably gone distant if he had got sex anyway, as he'd have got what he wanted.
I reckon you've had a lucky escape and he only wanted sex. If he wanted something more serious he would be happy to go at your pace.
He probably thought it was a sure thing and you've thrown him and now he's a bit miffed and embarrassed.

Feelingweirdaboutit Fri 09-Mar-18 23:31:19

I did think he wanted something more serious though - everything was pointing towards it, unless he talked a very fucking good game. Also why bother messaging me after

keepingbees Fri 09-Mar-18 23:31:36

If he wanted to know you were home safe and has messaged again today what makes you think he's lost interest?

unintentionalthreadkiller Fri 09-Mar-18 23:31:42

You heard from him at midday?? He's not really had time to cool things has he?!

Feelingweirdaboutit Fri 09-Mar-18 23:35:06

The fact we haven’t planned a further date etc and heard nothing much since really

keepingbees Fri 09-Mar-18 23:42:00

You've only had 2/3 dates, it's too early to decide if it's serious or not. I think you're putting too much pressure on it. If he wants you he will make it known. If he's cooled off it's better that he did it before you slept with him as it seems like he only wanted one thing.

Feelingweirdaboutit Fri 09-Mar-18 23:50:17

So it’s bad news really

Jon66 Fri 09-Mar-18 23:54:24

Perhaps because you wouldn't have sex with him, he thinks you aren't very interested? They do have egos you know!

Feelingweirdaboutit Fri 09-Mar-18 23:57:07

I have a feeling it may be that Jon

I said to him I would be ready soon but didn’t want to rush things

cremecaramelmmm Sat 10-Mar-18 08:26:29

Poor guy you wouldn't have sex with him after 2 dates, his poor ego must be shot to bits?! If he's being off with you after you not having sex, bin him. Don't start worrying and promising you'll be ready soon, that's crazy talk. Some men are very good at future faking and will tell you anything they think you want to hear to get you into bed. How about you stop worrying if he likes you and start considering whether you actually like him and if he's good enough for you.

Oldbrook Sat 10-Mar-18 08:42:06

I think you just have to wait and see. Have you heard again since midday?

Sometimes you need a little time to see how dates settle in your mind I think

TheFifthKey Sat 10-Mar-18 08:44:38

At this point I’d just get on with your life - assume he isn’t interested, try not to think about it (because thinking won’t change anything) and you’ll be pleasantly surprised if he is! If he wants to see you again he will make it happen. Men do.

Oldbrook Sat 10-Mar-18 08:46:17

I think it's so easy to think 'are they into to us?' at this stage we forget to think 'are we into them'

Arealhumanbeing Sat 10-Mar-18 08:56:26

Hang on!

He messaged you immediately to check you were in safely and then messaged again when you confirmed that you were?

And then again at midday?

bumbleymummy Sat 10-Mar-18 08:59:43

I suppose it depends on how much you usually message each other but i think it’s a bit soon to be saying he’s cooled off if it’s only been a few hours since you heard from him confused. He may have had a few things on in the afternoon/evening.

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