To not go on a date with someone who works in a shop

(751 Posts)
therealbridgetjones Mon 11-Sep-17 20:54:15

A friend of mine is trying to set me up with a friend of hers. I don't know much about him other than he is my age and works in a shop. He lives at home with his parents (early thirties).

I'm in my late twenties. I'm intelligent, have a career, earn above average and have my own house. I've lived away from my parents for about ten years and am completely independent.

I've worked in retail and to be honest it made me work bloody hard at university because I didn't want to end up back there!

My friend seems shocked and calls me snobby because I don't want to go on a date with her friend. She thinks I'm a gold digger but this couldn't be further from the truth! Her argument is that it's about the person and not their ambitions etc but surely this is a part of a person? I'm attracted to intelligence, ambition and independence.

So AIBU to not consider a date with this person?

OP’s posts: |
MonkeyJumping Mon 11-Sep-17 20:55:38

Yes yabu. You don't know enough about him to judge his ambition, intelligence etc.

FenceSitter01 Mon 11-Sep-17 20:56:57

I wouldn't either, not unless his name was Sainsbury

CoffeeAndEnnui Mon 11-Sep-17 20:57:32

You don't need a more valid reason than your own reluctance for you to say no to a date with a stranger.

LoveMyLittleSuperhero Mon 11-Sep-17 20:57:43

YANBU don't go on a date with the poor man. He deserves someone who isn't looking down on him for working.

theSnuffster Mon 11-Sep-17 20:57:52

At least give him a chance!

EnidColeslaw771 Mon 11-Sep-17 20:58:50

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GurlwiththeCurl Mon 11-Sep-17 20:58:55

I think you are being an outrageous snob, OP. My son has a Masters Degree, is highly intelligent and works in retail. He also lives with us. He is a great young man, but has struggled to get other work for a number of reasons. We are proud that he is prepared to graft hard, get along with his colleagues and often do physical work to help his team. You would be lucky to meet him, IMHO!

But perhaps he would not be so lucky to meet you.

Babymamamama Mon 11-Sep-17 20:59:33

It's up to you. Wouldn't appeal to me. So I can see where you're coming from. Compatibility is very important.,

UsedtobeFeckless Mon 11-Sep-17 20:59:48

You know nothing about him one way or the other. YABU and a bit of a snob to bin him off based on his job alone.

JustHereForThePooStories Mon 11-Sep-17 20:59:50

You can decline dating anyone, for any reason.

Hope you like your username though- sounds like you'll have it for quite a while.

Tapandgo Mon 11-Sep-17 20:59:55

Crikey! What is wrong with working in a shop?

FakePlasticTeaLeaves Mon 11-Sep-17 21:00:01

You've already judged him, so what's the point in wasting the guys time.

MuddyMoose Mon 11-Sep-17 21:00:51

You are ridiculously snobby. You know nothing about this man apart from his job title. As someone who works in retail, I take great offence to your judgemental, small minded opinions of shop workers.

Do this bloke a favour & decline a date.

dudsville Mon 11-Sep-17 21:01:32

You don't have to go out with him. He should go out with someone who respects him. You should look for someone you respect. All this is ok. George Clooney never came calling for me and I got over it!

RememberToSmile1980 Mon 11-Sep-17 21:01:36

I agree that you don't need to go on a date with him if you don't want to. Also moving forward you earn more and are more secure than him. Whether they think you are being a snob or fussy shouldn't matter. It's what you are comfortable with. I wouldn't date him either.

AmyGardner Mon 11-Sep-17 21:01:36

That's kind of sad; why judge someone on so little basis? You could walk in and think he's the one.

That said, if you don't want to go, your friend should back off. She isn't really wrong about the snob thing though...

Percephone Mon 11-Sep-17 21:01:41

Yanbu. I wouldn't either.

greendale17 Mon 11-Sep-17 21:02:00

YANBU- you want someone who has the same ambition as you.

expatinscotland Mon 11-Sep-17 21:02:00

You don't owe anyone a date, for any reason. You don't owe anyone a chance, a date, a phone number. Having your own standards, be they no shop workers, people who live at home, don't drive, have a penis (or a small penis), support Arsenal, etc. does not make you a snob or a bad person. Distance yourself from such 'friends' who don't respect whatever boundaries or standards you set for yourself.

And don't ever go on a date you have to talk yourself into.


histinyhandsarefrozen Mon 11-Sep-17 21:02:13

I wouldn't go on a date with a man who lived permanently with his parents.

I doubt we would have much/anything in common.

NB. This doesn't mean he's a bad person, he just wouldn't be for me.

ShatnersBassoon Mon 11-Sep-17 21:02:14

Is he definitely thick? It's just that your friend seems to think he'd be a good match for you..

EllaElla Mon 11-Sep-17 21:02:31

I get you, but he could be finishing his PhD or working at the shop and writing a bestselling novel at night for all you know at the moment! Even if he wasn't he might surprise you. I'd give it a chance - you can always say no to a second date! In my experience ambition and intelligence isn't always reflected in someone's current situation.

shushpenfold Mon 11-Sep-17 21:02:42

I'm sure YABU but I snorted at Fence's comment!

PigletWasPoohsFriend Mon 11-Sep-17 21:02:44

YANBU don't go on a date with the poor man. He deserves someone who isn't looking down on him for working.

^ this.

He should also think himself lucky to have dodged a date with someone with such snobbish attitudes.

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