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Inappropriate party bag gift?

(194 Posts)
SignOnTheWindow Tue 09-May-17 00:58:29

Friend's DS went to an outdoor-activities birthday party (lots of running around grounds of large house; marshmallows over an open fire type thing). Sounds great fun, tbh.

Friend's DS was given a party bag at the end and in the back seat of the car on the way back he opened it and started playing with the contents... which included a penknife - cue him opening it and accidentally cutting himself. Not deeply enough for stitches or anything, but deep enough to end up with blood everywhere.

Now, one thing I didn't find out was whether the parents had been warned that there was a knife in the party bag. I'm assuming not because my friend is pretty paranoid about potential safety issues and I imagine would not have let him have the bag in the car if she knew it contained a penknife.

If they weren't warned, it seems a foolishly dangerous thing to put in party bag for 7 year olds.

What about if they were warned, though? AIBU to think that even with a warning, a penknife is an inappropriate gift to put in a party bag at that age? Or am I being precious?

Awwlookatmybabyspider Tue 09-May-17 01:02:44

YANBP at all. WTF would give a pen knives to 7 year old babies.

springflowers11 Tue 09-May-17 01:11:50

Seven year olds are not babies.
Maybe if you did not treat your DC as one he would have known how to handle a small knife without slashing himself

PovertyPain Tue 09-May-17 01:14:29

Holy fuck! It's one thing teaching your child to be safe with knives and another to put one in a party bag! 😮

FeckinCrutches Tue 09-May-17 01:15:24

7 year old babies?? hmm get over yourself.
OP it's a bit of a crap present if you weren't warned!

IloveBanff Tue 09-May-17 01:24:56

I can't get my head around giving knives to children as party gifts. That's bizarre.

cantbefaffedd Tue 09-May-17 01:25:41

I agree OP. 7 year olds ARE still babies, hence they have no road sense, are unable to survive (for a very short time) without adult intervention. Some suggest thrusting knife skills upon little one's. Parents can of course do what they wish with there own, they should not have done this to your DS without discussion.

cantbefaffedd Tue 09-May-17 01:27:00


user1491572121 Tue 09-May-17 01:28:08

A pen knife is more suited to an 11 year old. It was a bit presumptious of them. I'd mention it. My children aren't allowed knives because they're not that good with their fingers....some kids are of DD's mates is 8 and he can carve wood, he's very dextrous....others are not.

Short sighted at 7 if you ask me. 12...a good idea.

SignOnTheWindow Tue 09-May-17 01:29:40

Maybe if you did not treat your DC as one he would have known how to handle a small knife without slashing himself

Not my DC. Penknife was a flick-open style thing, so quite stiff.

SignOnTheWindow Tue 09-May-17 01:31:54

I had a penknife by 9 and used it for whittling sticks, but it was given to me by my parents, who knew my limits.

Still managed to cut myself on it the first time I opened it though grin

ScarlettFreestone Tue 09-May-17 01:32:08

7yo are not babies!

My 9 yo DD and DS both have their own knives (we do a lot of camping) but they only use them under our supervision.

I don't think that 7 yo is necessarily too young for a knife but I wouldn't give one as a gift because I think it depends on the child.

The parents should of course have been warned.

I would have expected my own DC at 7yo to have been sensible enough not to open a pen knife without permission. They have been taught knife safety though.

Topseyt Tue 09-May-17 01:32:17

That's the first time I have ever seen 7 year olds referred to as 7 year old babies!!! What bollocks.

That aside though, a pen knife is a totally inappropriate party bag present, and if I were your friend I would be letting the other parents know that in no uncertain terms.

SignOnTheWindow Tue 09-May-17 01:39:14

I'd like to reiterate that it wasn't my DC and I don't know for sure whether there was a warning or not. There might have been.

The AIBU was purely about the second scenario - would you put it in a party bag WITH a warning?

Genuinely interested - not looking to defend my doubts to the death or anything!

Topseyt Tue 09-May-17 01:39:17

And yet again, WHY can people not read the very opening post of the thread, where OP made it very clear that she was talking about a friend's child, not her own?

Also, the remark about 7 year old babies came from a different poster. Please read!!

SignOnTheWindow Tue 09-May-17 01:49:12

I would have expected my own DC at 7yo to have been sensible enough not to open a pen knife without permission. They have been taught knife safety though.

Absolutely, and your DC sound like they have had lots of experience of this kind of knife through camping.

It's made me think about my own Slightly older) DC who can use sharp knives in the kitchen and saw wood, but wouldn't know their way around a penknife as we just don't tend to use one. It was the stiffness of the blade as you flick it out that caught me out when I was a child.

SignOnTheWindow Tue 09-May-17 01:50:35

Thanks Topseyt!

LellyMcKelly Tue 09-May-17 01:54:43

If you're going to give a knife as a birthday gift at least tell the parents ffs.

ScarlettFreestone Tue 09-May-17 01:56:36

Sign I agree that experience/education makes a big difference with this. There was a thread recently where a poster didn't think her eleven year old was old enough to use a sharp kitchen knife so family practice on this differs wildly.

I wouldn't put one in a party bag. I'd put a compass or a whistle in if we were doing an outdoorsy type party.

Adarajames Tue 09-May-17 02:01:58

Aren't flick knives illegal?!

SignOnTheWindow Tue 09-May-17 02:07:47

Adarajames I'm not sure, but a flick knife is not the same as a pen knife.

AFAIK a flick knife has a spring operated blade that flicks open when you press a button.

A pen knife - which is what we are talking about here - has a blade that folds into the handle. You have to pull it open, but the mechanism can often be quite stiff so the blade sort of 'flicks' out all of a sudden when you try to open it. Bit hard to describe!

SignOnTheWindow Tue 09-May-17 02:11:28

Scarlett, yes - I think a compass/whistle would have been a better choice!

Perhaps their own DC are so at home with penknives that it just didn't occur to them that others might not be.

user1491572121 Tue 09-May-17 02:53:09

Sign you said it was a "flick open style knife" so I think that's why that poster mentioned flick knives.

ThumbWitchesAbroad Tue 09-May-17 04:12:18

YANBU - a knife at that age is inappropriate as a random party bag gift. By all means, give a pen knife as a present to a child whom you are knowledgeable about, if you know they can handle it safely - but do not be giving it out to all and sundry who rock up to a party, that's ridiculous.

Even with a warning, I wouldn't do that. As other posters have said, maybe when they're older; but not at 7.

TestingTestingWonTooFree Tue 09-May-17 04:20:51

Unless they were 13+ I'd think it was for parents to decide whether knives were suitable and they'd need to be warned. Yanbu.

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