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AIBU?

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Original poster

Inappropriate party bag gift?

193 replies

SignOnTheWindow · 09/05/2017 00:58

Friend's DS went to an outdoor-activities birthday party (lots of running around grounds of large house; marshmallows over an open fire type thing). Sounds great fun, tbh.

Friend's DS was given a party bag at the end and in the back seat of the car on the way back he opened it and started playing with the contents... which included a penknife - cue him opening it and accidentally cutting himself. Not deeply enough for stitches or anything, but deep enough to end up with blood everywhere.

Now, one thing I didn't find out was whether the parents had been warned that there was a knife in the party bag. I'm assuming not because my friend is pretty paranoid about potential safety issues and I imagine would not have let him have the bag in the car if she knew it contained a penknife.

If they weren't warned, it seems a foolishly dangerous thing to put in party bag for 7 year olds.

What about if they were warned, though? AIBU to think that even with a warning, a penknife is an inappropriate gift to put in a party bag at that age? Or am I being precious?

OP posts:
EduCated · 09/05/2017 07:42

Agree with Bertrand and others - 7 I should absolutely fine to be handling a knife and learning how to use it safely in a supervised environment.

Handing them willy nilly to party guests that you almost certainly only have limited knowledge of is plain foolish.

And any warning from the party parents should have been absolute and made sure that every single parent was fully aware there was a pen knife in the bags.

Also not surprised that a 7yo wouldn't necessarily recognise a pen knife, even if they can safely use sharp kitchen knives etc. I think even a 7yo would be surprised to find one in a bag normally filled with plastic tat and probably wouldn't think it was a real knife.

Floozie66 · 09/05/2017 07:43

Bizarre behaviour to put a pennknife in a party bag if you ask me!!

BarbarianMum · 09/05/2017 07:50

It wouldn't bother me if dc got one but I wouldn't personally put something like a knife in a party bag (too expensive, too much potential for messing around at end of party).

mummytime · 09/05/2017 07:50

Was this in the UK?
Were the party hosts from the UK?

In some countries I wouldn't be surprised eg. Switzerland. If it was in the UK but the parents were "foreign" I would have a quiet word pointing out under 16s aren't allowed to buy knives etc.

In UK with British parents - biazzare!

heyduggeeallday · 09/05/2017 07:50

My seven year could certainly not handle a knife!! She would probably stab her sister!

Newtssuitcase · 09/05/2017 07:56

I bought pen knives for my DS's when they were about 8/9 having been persuaded by MN that it would be fine and they were old enough for them (they're very outdoorsy). DS1 promptly sliced his finger and they were then taken away and put onto a high shelf.

I think realistically age 11ish is more appropriate. Putting them in a party bag at age 7 with no warning to parents is bizarre.

PoorYorick · 09/05/2017 07:59

Who in the fuck gives knives to 7 year olds? If you want an outdoorsy theme, what's wrong with a compass?

BarbarianMum · 09/05/2017 08:00

Newt how silly. Ds1 did much the same. He was bandaged, reminded to be more careful and given a second chance. It never happened again. Did you take his bike away the first time he fell off it?

Newtssuitcase · 09/05/2017 08:07

No Barbarian and neither was this a situation where we just handed out the knife watched him slice his hand and took it away again. They were given guidance and instruction on how to use them but we were concerned anyway that they might actually be a bit young and these were decent pen knives which had the potential to do a bit of damage. The cut required a trip to A&E and I can assure you that neither DS was keen to get them out again after that.

We made a carefully thought out decision to take them away for a while until they were a bit older. I would be quite happy to hand them out again now (12 and 10) but they've actually not asked for them. Both DSs have decent knife skills in the kitchen though.

blackteasplease · 09/05/2017 08:08

I think they needed to tell the parents "there's a pen knife in there", so that they could make a decision and so that there wasnt any of this opening it in the car.

It's OK for a child that age but under supervision at first.

newfor2017 · 09/05/2017 08:11

Insane party bag gift! Sounds like an expensive party bag though, I reckon their intentions must have been good! Did they get taught to use a penknife during the party?

MrsBobtonTrent · 09/05/2017 08:16

DS had a penknife from 7. But it was planned and talked about. It's been really good for his fine motor skills (as he's really worried about cutting himself).

I can't imagine one going blind into a party bag and so I'm wondering whether the party boy pocketed it at the party and then pretended it was in the party bag...

Chinnygirl · 09/05/2017 08:20

I had a swiss army knife at eight and I used it to take bark off sticks to make them into walking sticks and stuff like that.

I do think it is weird as a present though.

RitaMills · 09/05/2017 08:24

I have a 7 year old and I wouldn't be against him using a pen knife under supervision, DP is outdoorsy so I dare say he will in the near future. I would not have been happy for him to have it in a party bag with no warning my DS is impulsive and fearless, he isn't ready to be left with any kind of knife on his own, that is something I'd rather take out and supervise him with not allow him to flick about in the back of the car without my knowledge.

BertrandRussell · 09/05/2017 08:33

My brother asked me whether he could give mine a knife wen he was about 7. I had a brief PFB panic and said "But what if she cuts herself!" He said ""So, she cuts herself - she's self healing!"

But absolutely inappropriate for a party bag- what were they thinking!

Aeroflotgirl · 09/05/2017 08:35

A penknife is not an appropriate party bag gift end of, whether your child knows knife safety or not!

Ginslinger · 09/05/2017 08:47

We spent a lot of time in Germany when the DCs were growing up and all the children had Swiss Army knives or equivalent - it was a rite-of-passage for most kids to be able to whittle a pointy stick to make snake bread on an open fire. My brother had a penknife when he was small - it's using knives that teaches you not to cut yourself.

However, I do think that the parents should have been clear that there were knives in the bag.

ohtheholidays · 09/05/2017 08:54

I wouldn't care what age the children were who the fuck gives a knife to a child in a party bag?
Were the parents on something?

I bet the school will be well pleased if a child manages to sneak one of those into school,the consequences if that all goes wrong doens't bare thinking about!

WankersHacksandThieves · 09/05/2017 08:56

I don't think you should put anything in a party bag that the child couldn't buy themselves in a shop, so exclusions would be alcohol, cigarettes, knives, energy drinks etc.

My own DS1 had a pen knife and then a scout knife from around that age, but that was bought by us and used under supervision. My DS2 is nearly 16 and I still don't like him using sharp knives as he is likely to take his fingers off. He can destroy a slice of toast with a butter knife and isn't good with things such as tying his laces. It's not for the want of trying honestly. If he'd been given a knife in a party bag at age 7 he'd probably have severed an artery before we got out the street.

DC have different skills and abilities, that's not a decision that should have been taken by another child's parent.

These are the parents that will be serving alcohol at teenage parties without approval from other parents as clearly they know best (and want to be the "cool" parents).

CottonSock · 09/05/2017 08:57

Just crazy

user1471518295 · 09/05/2017 09:00

Even if you have no issue about a penknife being given to a 7 year old, NO child should have access to a knife whilst in a car that is being driven - that is asking for trouble! And if the mother was not aware of what was in the bag, then she could not tell the child to leave it until he got home.

purplecollar · 09/05/2017 09:05

They're asked to get them for guide camp from age 10. Even then, mine cut herself a few times. They are taken in by the leader and given out for set instruction times. So yes, I think 7 is too young. There's a lot of growing up done between 7 and 10. It's quite an expensive gift though I think. I'm pretty sure dd's was over £10 and possibly nearing £20.

corythatwas · 09/05/2017 09:05

I'm Swedish so all for 7yos having access to Swiss army knives (and hammers and saws and screwdrivers and proper scissors). I still think it's a silly thing to put in a party bag without warning.

C8H10N4O2 · 09/05/2017 09:06

I had knives of this sort at that age, as did my siblings and children (of both sexes).

I wouldn't put one party bags in the UK because (1) families here generally seem to have stopped teaching kids knife skills (2) decent penknives are too expensive to put in as party bag presents.

What happened to taking home some sweets and a few bits of plastic crap?

likeababyelephant · 09/05/2017 09:07

No big deal and not innapropriate. Scouts use pen knives.

If there was a dildo in the party bag then yes you're justified in your anger.

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