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To not want to eat food that my mother has cooked?

(235 Posts)
Cheeseoncrumpets Sun 17-Jan-16 12:00:52

I probably am being a bit unreasonable a bit, but to put it bluntly she is shit at cooking. Everything is either frozen or out of a packet, either overcooked or undercooked, unseasoned and served on a freezing cold plate. Her roast dinners are the absolute worst though, unseasoned cremated meat, frozen Yorkshire puddings, burned roast potatoes and veg that's been stewed for about two hours smothered in thick gloopy bisto gravy. I feel sick just thinking about it.

So, she's currently in a huff with me because I don't want to go around there and eat one of her Sunday roasts. To put it into context, we usually all go out as a family together for Sunday dinner. But today she's decided she can't be bothered today's and so instead of asking us first has gone out this morning and bought a piece of beef, some veg and has announced she will be making us all lunch instead. My heart sunk as I was looking forward to a hearty Sunday meal, cooked properly in a nice pub. So I declined and said "no thanks, you know Im not a big lover of Sunday dinner" and then got in the ear because she's bought everything in for us, and she's also enquired as to why I will eat a roast in the pub but not one of hers...

So now I'm stuck. She's not good with crticism anyway so I can't really say "sorry mum but your a shit cook" without it provoking WW3.

I know it's trivial, but am I really unreasonable to not want to eat her slop cooking eveer again?

WorldsBiggestGrotbag Sun 17-Jan-16 12:03:18

Can't you just suck it up for one meal to make your mum happy?

MaidOfStars Sun 17-Jan-16 12:03:33

Can you offer to do the cooking?

Chococroc Sun 17-Jan-16 12:04:17

Why don't you offer to help with the cooking?

timemaychangeme Sun 17-Jan-16 12:05:14

Not everyone is a good cook. Unless her kitchen and cooking is likely to make you ill, I think it is a bit precious to refuse to go just because it's not great food. She has bought beef, veg etc and has offered to cook it for you. My Mum was a dreadful cook but whatever she made, she made to the best of her ability and I'd have felt really mean to refuse to eat at my parents.

Finola1step Sun 17-Jan-16 12:06:19

You could, well you know, offer to help.

PerspicaciaTick Sun 17-Jan-16 12:08:05

1) Have a big breakfast.
2) Mention you are on a diet/only wanting a small portion of lunch.
3) Have a nice tea when you get home.

Presumably a big part of the reason behind the family Sunday Lunch is so you can all get together, socialise, talk. The eating is relatively unimportant.

7to25 Sun 17-Jan-16 12:08:45

What a horrible post.

GlitteryShoes Sun 17-Jan-16 12:09:01

My daughter refuses to eat my food and it's really upsetting ( I'm not a bad cook, she is just controlling). It also makes us more distant as she can't really join in family celebrations. I think you are being petty.

imwithspud Sun 17-Jan-16 12:09:01

I would ask her if she'd like you to help or offer to cook for her ( you know, since she can't be bothered to go out, she probably can't be bothered to cook either).

Arfarfanarf Sun 17-Jan-16 12:09:31

I think you really have to choose.
It's not that you're avoiding upsetting your mum - she's upset right now.

So i think really you either lie to her and spout some guff about how you love to feel like it's a treat getting out etc etc and not lumbering her with cooking or clearing up

Or you tell her that everyone has different tastes and you prefer your food cooked in a different way - more tender meat, seasoning, hot plates etc.

anyoldname76 Sun 17-Jan-16 12:09:43

yabu i think, its one meal, im not a huge fan of my mothers cooking but i wouldnt hurt her feelings by refusing to eat what she had cooked

TheHouseOnTheLane Sun 17-Jan-16 12:10:47

I think YABU! My MIL is an AWFUL cook ...she uses cup a soup as seasoning!! but I always go when asked and eat all I can.

It pleases her and it's one meal.

GabiSolis Sun 17-Jan-16 12:11:14

I think to reject her offer entirely is rude. You should've offered to help, or to do the cooking yourself. She has done a nice thing in offering a home cooked meal and been rejected.

Jackie0 Sun 17-Jan-16 12:13:01

I'm going against the tide here but I think yanbu.
She changed the plans without checking if everyone wanted their plans changed so she can't be outraged if not everyone is agreeable.
I can't eat crap anymore and wouldn't be able to force myself, I wouldn't go or I would visit after dinner.

mypoorbottee Sun 17-Jan-16 12:13:16

I agree with previous posters.. Offer to help her cook and indirectly give her some tips by showing off your own culinary prowess

gleam Sun 17-Jan-16 12:14:18

I can only assume that those who think you rude have never been at the mercy of a terrible cook.

I haven't eaten at my mother's for nearly 20 years. She wouldn't have tolerated any help in the kitchen either.

BackInTheRealWorld Sun 17-Jan-16 12:14:31

How rude.

gleam Sun 17-Jan-16 12:14:46

Actually that should be nearly 25 years.

Cheeseoncrumpets Sun 17-Jan-16 12:15:02

I've told her I'll go now, in order to keep the peace. I just had this horrible flash back to the wet, cold Sunday's of my childhood trying to stomach her Sunday dinners.

Believe me I would offer to help gladly, but she's very controlling of her kitchen and won't accept it. Any advice about to do things differently in order to make stuff taste nicer is shot down.

ilovesooty Sun 17-Jan-16 12:15:09

I presume you didn't die of malnutrition growing up?

It wouldn't hurt you to eat what she's bought or offer to help.

Bombaybunty Sun 17-Jan-16 12:15:22

My MIL's food is awful, very much like you have described. Everything is frozen or ready made. She does a nice line in partially defrosted puddings and cremated meat.

I eat it and smile and know that I don't have to eat it very often!

Just put up with it and be pleased she has made the effort to cook.

SirBoobAlot Sun 17-Jan-16 12:16:27

YABU.

ilovesooty Sun 17-Jan-16 12:17:25

Cross post. In her place I wouldn't be rushing to invite you again.

MajesticSeaFlapFlap Sun 17-Jan-16 12:18:02

Ooh sil has us all over once a fortnight and really really cant cook. She wont accept help or get a take away.
She is a lovely lovely woman so we all go and suck it up, even my kids (5 and 13) say its lovely and thank her then get something to ear at home.

I love my boys for not hurting her feelings, some of the meals are odd and hard to stomach but they paste on a smile.

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