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Stopping drinking for a while - part 2

(408 Posts)
Patbutcherismyhero Wed 19-Aug-20 07:50:09

Hi all, a new thread as requested. Hope to see you all here shortly x

OP’s posts: |
fluckityfluckfluck Wed 19-Aug-20 07:59:07

Morning @Patbutcherismyhero - thanks for the new thread. Hope my request didn't seem bossy blush

Patbutcherismyhero Wed 19-Aug-20 08:01:55

Not at all @fluckityfluckfluck - I need someone to keep me on the straight and narrow as you know wink

OP’s posts: |
ErinBrockovich Wed 19-Aug-20 08:08:20

Morning all. I’ll link to the old thread for any newbies here:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3945191-stopping-drinking-for-a-while?watched=1&msgid=99277686#99277686

Day 3AF for me. Terrible nights sleep. Couldn’t nod off and then kept waking as my hip was hurting... no reason it should so that was annoying. Probably all the tossing and turning.
Having a nice day out with my DC and leaving bright and early as I can drive without fear.
I hope everyone has a good day.

fluckityfluckfluck Wed 19-Aug-20 08:20:53

Hi @ErinBrockovich - keep going you are doing great. Have a look at the health section of the quit drinking app I have, after three days your brain cells start to regenerate which causes specific symptoms...

BoxAndKnife Wed 19-Aug-20 08:41:56

Great to see a new thread!

Morning everyone. I was really moved by some of the recent posts on the old thread. I hope everyone continues to feel supported and safe here flowers

FrolickingLemon Wed 19-Aug-20 08:52:30

Morning everyone. And thanks for the new thread Patbutcherismyhero I watched the classic Peggy and Pat / Frank Eastenders episode last night. That link between the character and this thread actually helped.

I also had a restless night and am on day 3 AF. I also had a sore hip, but I've got osteoarthritis so I know why. One of the reasons I would have a drink is because I was sick of the pain. Knowing full well that alcohol is an inflammatory for arthritis.

I worked out last night that there are so many reasons not to drink: Health, money, not making a tit of yourself etc. But I remembered a quote from Kate Moss about how being thin make her feel and she used to say "Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels" I kind of want to equate that to alcohol, so I was chanting "No drink tastes as good as sober feels" Also the last line in the page from Blackout posted at the end of the 1st thread is good - something along the lines of 'The nights where I don't remember anything are the ones I remember most'

I'm just having to keep on reminding myself. Because for a long time, my brain has done a bloody good job of ignoring all this important shit and telling me just to have a drink. My brain was like a bloody drug pusher - 'Go on, what's the harm?' Well, plenty actually. I need to remember to keep saying that back!

BooksMusicSnacks Wed 19-Aug-20 08:54:05

Morning all!

I've just been out for a run before the rain started and it felt so good. I felt healthy and strong for doing it. I occasionally go for a run and hate every step but this morning it just felt like something clicked, physically and mentally.

Thanks @Patbutcherismyhero for the second thread, first one filled up quickly didn't it. Have a good day everyone.

RandomGirl Wed 19-Aug-20 09:22:28

Good morning all! thanks for the new thread *@Patbutcherismyhero*. Almost feels like a fresh new start!

This will be Day AF - I'm so chuffed to get to 10, it's half way through my first target of 20 days (I do have other milestones for after 20 days).

I totally resonate with the suspicion of people who don't drink. Not many of my actual family drink that much but my in-laws, who I spend the majority of my 'family' time with, are very heavy drinkers. I haven't spent much time with my own family in recent years and that is definitely due to me drinking and not wanting to travel anywhere or commit to doing anything the next day as I usually feel rough. I no longer get invited to events as I usually make up a moody excuse and decline. As I do with all of my social events that are outside of my drinking circle. Update though - I have been invited to a little family member's birthday celebrations on Saturday, about an hour's drive away, starting about 10am, which I am taking my daughter to. She'll be able to see all of her cousins (in my family) and I'm actually really looking forward to it. Looking forward to getting up early, packing a picnic and then having a little road trip to the coast. Unheard of!

@fluckityfluckfluck I'm really sorry and I have to apologise but your fake pregnancy/miscarriage story made me chuckle. That is exactly the sort of hare-brained scheme that would cross my mind! Still chuckling now - sorry...

i think this weekend will be fine for me to get through AF however the real proper challenge for me will be next weekend as it is our wedding anniversay and we are going out with my best friend and her husband as it is also their anniversary. What would be the norm is that i would have a few drinks late afternoon and then into the evening whilst getting ready, taxi to the restaurant, copious bottles of wine, spirits and dessert wine then back to theirs to party until about 3/4am. These are the two people that we drink with the most regularly and the most heavily - especially me and my best friend. I have said to them that I will drive but it wouldn't be unheard of for us to leave the car in the car park and pick it up the next day (probably the day after that if I'm honest - many a time has the car been left in a car park for a few days after a spontaneous binge. I'm trying not to think about that too much as it will overwhelm me. I'm hoping that I'll have racked up enough AF days that I won't want to ruin my hard work.

And @fluckityfluckfluck - you are far from a crap mum, you are here on this thread, investing in yourself, being aware, and caring about yours and your family's future. A crap mum wouldn't even care about changing.

Welcome to all of the new joiners, this is a really good, supportive and non-judgemental thread. I'm very grateful for it, I wouldn't have been able to get this far without this and being able to be open and honest.

Frolickinglemon - when you join this new thread (I hope you do), I also avoid any outside social interaction after 6pm as I'm normally lost to the cause by then. You're not alone there.

@ErinBrockovich ditto - I never did anything unless we could walk there as it would interfere with my drinking. We went to a Dessert restaurant one morning, after going to the kids early cinema showing, as a birthday treat for my daughter and we were horrified to find that that they didn't serve alcohol! We never went back again despite her asking on a almost fanatically regular basis. I think that they were always 'fully booked. I was really hungover that day as well and really needed a hair of the dog. I actually took a travel mug with wine and ice into the cinema just to get me through the animated hangover hell. I saw people that I knew in there as well and thought nothing of telling them that I had wine in my flask. God. That's another story that I normalised.

Darcyshirt that's brilliant about the 1 unit beer. sometimes, just the initial taste/sip/drink is what I'm after. I would still then polish off a whole bottle smile

Railings - that's brilliant progress. It's so good when those who are important to you support you and don't try and dissuade you. I'm hoping that it will be the same for me as well next week. I hope that they respect my choices and don't pressure me to have a drink. I'm very, very easily led and constantly get FOMO.

@BooksMusicSnacks that is fantastic! I am not a runner at all but now you've made me want to go for an early morning run! Not now of course, I've spent too long writing this oversized post!! grin

Oooh - everyone, we had a personal trainer come to the house last night and we did EXCERSISE! So chuffed with myself. And we've arranged for her to come at 6/6.30pm twice a week which should hopefully mean that I can't even consider thinking about drink as I'll be too busy focussing on preparing to become the new Jessica Ennis (or some other really fit and healthy female).

@Patbutcherismyhero my absolute thanks to you for starting this post - I owe you a lot!! flowers

Really must do some work now....

NeedAUserNameAllTaken Wed 19-Aug-20 09:25:00

Morning all!
Thanks @Patbutcherismyhero for the new thread and for the old! So grateful to you.
And you all!

Amazing @BooksMusicSnacks! You must feel so proud. I keep meaning to get running but never quite go for it.

Nice one @ErinBrockovich!

So true @FrolickingLemon!

Wow, that page, thanks for the share @fluckityfluckfluck. Have to say I've been avoiding that one; I have so many nights where I don't remember the end that it feels a bit close to the bone but also pretty sure it never got book worthy exciting! I'm reading Craig Beck, which seems really good. Read 'Glorious Rock Bottom' which whilst very good I'd put a warning on; she finds it very very hard and it didn't leave me with quite the same upbeat "This is amazing, why would I drink ever again!" feeling that all the others did; it left me a little worried that I'd find it hard forever like her. Of course that could just be me but just thought worth noting. Hence Craig beck now to get me back into the right mindset!

NeedAUserNameAllTaken Wed 19-Aug-20 09:26:15

Sorry for the aches and pains @ErinBrockovich, I did find good sleep took a while but now I rarely wake up and if I do I'm asleep again in minutes.

Bluewavescrashing Wed 19-Aug-20 09:27:49

@RandomGirl wow, a personal trainer! Well done!

Day 8 AF and day 3 sugar free. I need to cut out sugar for my health (prediabetic). I'm actually finding it fine so far. Nuts are good for sugar cravings as they're satisfying to nibble on. Sparkling water is my drink of choice now.

Keep going everyone!

NeedAUserNameAllTaken Wed 19-Aug-20 09:29:51

@RandomGirl that's awesome re the family event and yup hear you on the not driving anywhere, I did the same. I'm suddenly seeing the world open up now there isn't that limit! Nice one to personal trainer!

Have a good one all smile

NeedAUserNameAllTaken Wed 19-Aug-20 09:34:27

@Bluewavescrashing sugar free too wow! Have you looked at keto? I think that's meant to be good for pre diabetes and possibly intermittent fasting. My FIL was pre diabetic and we managed to get him to pretty much go keto and he's no longer pre diabetic! Dont think he even fully did keto but I've had a go at it and if you go for it you can eat loads. I really enjoyed it. Plus nuts feature highly smile

Bluewavescrashing Wed 19-Aug-20 09:41:12

Ooh I'll look into keto, thanks!

I'm very fat right now so am looking forward to some weight loss!

Wonderbluff Wed 19-Aug-20 09:43:20

Morning all, thank you for the lovely welcome and new thread!

It’s the first time in years I’ve posted anything on here and the feeling of support is powerful stuff!

Unexpectedly feeling massively relieved at having shared what feels like a ‘dirty secret’ I’ve been carrying around for (too many) years!
Got through 1st night AF okay which I wasn’t too worried about as felt so rough from the night before! My husband drinks most nights and was out too which made it easier.
I have asked him to stop buying me wine or offering me a drink as I need to stop. I think he heard. Didn’t have time for a proper conversation about it and a part of me doesn’t want to. I don’t want to make a huge issue of it and feel under extra pressure. It feels very personal for some reason and I guess a fear of failure in there too!

I’m on ‘holiday’ the rest of this week, so will become more challenging to stay AF as that usually goes hand in hand with drinking.

I did listen to the Naked mind podcast suggested and was fascinated to hear about the initial relaxing ‘buzz’ that I so love when drinking. That in fact only lasts 20 minutes and the rest of the time we are playing a kind of catch up to keep that feeling whilst simultaneously fighting off the withdrawal symptoms of alcohol which last around 2-3 hours. It’s really quite bonkers when you actually think about it when straight and not dealing with the ‘drug pusher brain’ Froliker mentioned!

fluckityfluckfluck Wed 19-Aug-20 09:56:55

@RandomGirl your posts are so entertaining - it's actually like hearing someone talk reading them. Love itgrin

AlCalavicci Wed 19-Aug-20 10:09:47

Hello everyone ,
Thanks for the new thread @Patbutcherismyhero
I am just sticking my self on here so I don't lose the thread ( literally and figuratively )
I will be back this evening to catch up with everyone.

Seashell80 Wed 19-Aug-20 10:46:42

Hi everyone,
Been watching for a while and would like to join, like a lot of OP my drinking has increased over lockdown and so has all the downsides that go with it! I have always liked a drink but now increasingly find that I can get through a bottle of wine without thinking in a very short space of time. I will often wake up the next morning with feelings of guilt and disgust and there have been a few times on social occasions where I have done or said things I have regretted. I am always the one who has to have another drink! I have noticed the detrimental effect on my health more so over lockdown-Health anxiety, weight gain, my chronic rhinitis is made worse by drinking and so is my IBS!
So I have decided to try and reset my relationship with alcohol by having a complete break from it for at least 6 weeks( till my 40th at the end of sept) I have done this before and managed 7 weeks AF last year and along with eating healthier I lost a stone!! So I'm planning to do that again and become healthier all round-physically and mentally. Today is day 4 AF !

RandomGirl Wed 19-Aug-20 11:12:49

Maybe quitting drinking will help me remember how to spell 'exercise'...

TheWildRumpyPumpus Wed 19-Aug-20 11:14:19

May I join you all? I’m on day 5 having started unintentionally because I had a stonking migraine which ‘forced’ me out of what had become an almost daily glass or more of wine over lockdown.

DH suggested a glass with dinner last night and it was more of an effort than I’d have liked to say no, which makes me think I could do with sticking around on this thread if you’ll have me!

Darcysshirt Wed 19-Aug-20 12:23:34

Welcome @TheWildRumpyPumpus! This is truly a lovely thread.

Hello to everyone else, glad I have found you all.

@FrolickingLemon I had no idea alcohol could make arthritis worse. I have dodgy knees that sometimes really hurt. Another reason to rein it in!

Well done @Wonderbluff. I am going to have a listen to that podcast. That first glass is always the best one isn't it, so and the "catching up" theory makes a lot of sense to me.

I am a bit worried about the weekend. I'm going to be a bit vague as I suspect this person may be on MN, but I am having someone to visit on Sunday, a family member. they are a HUGE drinker, can drink me under the table and get a bit funny if I refuse a drink. Although I am not going totally AF at the moment, I don't want to get drunk and I don't want a hangover as I am fed up and bored of that scenario.

Darcysshirt Wed 19-Aug-20 12:25:01

Heloo @Seashell80. Day 4 is good going.

Darcysshirt Wed 19-Aug-20 12:25:27

Hello, that should be.

CherryCocktails Wed 19-Aug-20 13:11:10

Thanks for the new thread!

@ErinBrockovich I'm on day 3 now too and your experience is exactly like me; couldn't drop off to sleep like night and strange pain in my lower back on the left side.

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