Stopping drinking for a while - part 2

[Patbutcherismyhero]

Hi all, a new thread as requested. Hope to see you all here shortly x

@ErinBrockovich
It does sound like he is a little dominating rather than controlling. RE-starting your hobby or going out for walks alone may be a way of testing the waters. To be honest if I got questioned about my spending I would get pissed of quickly unless you are spending beyond the family's means.
Has he been burnt in other relationships ? not that that gives him the right to be like he is with you but it may explain things a bit.
I sounds like he supports you is other ways so I guess it is a case of you both working on the parts of your relationship that are not 100%

@fluckityfluckfluck
I am coming round to your house for my dinner today !

@Seashell80 well done on getting to day 8 , the 1st weekend is always the hardest

@ErinBrockovich you are so right to think the 30 days af will give you the headspace you need to see the wood from the trees. That's amazing motivation to keep it up right there. We are all here for you.

Happy Monday all. I'm stressed out at the thoughts of taking Sid in to work today. I've been training him by taking him straight out on to the grass at home but we are still not at the stage where he will ask to go out and I've a carpeted office not that close to the outside, never mind the fact that I won't be able to watch him for signs etc. I'm really hoping it won't be as bad as I fear - work will be stressful enough without all that.

@AlCalavicci let me know what time to expect you

I could be wrong @ErinBrockovich but sounds like your partner is worried about you actually having a bit of a life of your own outside the house because that means he will have to do more of the childcare.
Sounds like he is guilt tripping you when you want to go out. You don't need to be reminded you are a mother ffs.

You are entitled to a hobby and time spent doing it. You are still a person in your own right, beyond being a parent, as is he! Think of all the hours you spent breastfeeding. Now you get to have some of that time back. Take it.

Sorry if I this sounds harsh or just wrong. I may be projecting. I experience crap like this myself, from my own partner.

Their paternalistic bullshit is just another means of control. I'm not going to let myself be controlled though. Bring AF is giving me alot of clarity and I am demanding more time to myself. It has to be 50/50 or he can leave.

How are you going with the irritability? Mine has been terrible but is getting better, day by day. There's no way around it. I have been closing my eyes and counting to ten a LOT. Keep going you are doing brilliantly getting through your first weekend AF!

Can you schedule.some sort of treat for yourself for the 2 week mark. I'm going to have a new book or bottles of kombucha delivered to myself on my 14th day.

How are you doing @RandomGirl? All good with You?

Hi all, haven't caught up on the thread yet but am doing so.
We decided to have a blow out last week as we were Staycationing and OMG I feel horrendous today.
I've gained 2lb at SW this morning so more reason to get serious.
I plan to be AF until Saturday this week. Friday will be tough as DH is at a virtual beer festival (because his friend sent him the beer to join him online so he couldn't say no) so he will be sat in the lounge drinking. I've decided to do some work Friday night as I've got training to catch up on before I return from maternity, so hoping that'll help me stay AF.
We've also agreed that Sunday is no longer a proper drinking day. We enjoy Sunday nights with a bottle of red so we are going to strictly stick to that.

I'm out for dinner tonight but I'm going to be driving so it'll be Diet Coke and something low calorie/syn for me. Luckily this set of friends don't drink so they won't judge.

@Patbutcherismyhero if you fancy doing Sober September (ok I made that up because I can't wait until October) I would be up for doing that.

Thanks all. I’m checking in day 8 AF.
Busying myself doing all those jobs I should have done before the kids go back.
@HotelRoomforOne yes I do feel that way. Yet to fully understand if that is his motivation. He says family time at the weekend is important as he doesn’t get to do it during the week and he feels that by doing something else I’m ‘opting out of family time’.
That’s another reason why he doesn’t like me to drink at home at the weekends.
I feel like I’m with the kids by myself all week and I should be allowed a break at the weekend. I think he sees that as me leaving him to manage the DC alone. Which it is. It’s never all weekend or every weekend.
The last time we argued about it I went back over the calendar and worked out it was a total of 6 days out of 8 weekends. That was when I gave it up because it didn’t feel worth the hassle.

@Cherrybakewellll I weighed myself today hoping for a small loss. I’ve stayed the same and as I’ve eaten a tonne of chocolate I’ll take that!

Day 10 here. I’ve been trying to eat a bit healthier but that’s going out of the window tonight with a takeaway pizza!

I hope everyone is doing OK, and no matter if it’s day 1 or day 50, the fact we’re here and giving it a go is enough.

Checking in day 9AF.
Desperately trying to get a load of jobs done that I’ve been putting off for the entire summer holidays and then I’m seemingly shocked to find out there are weeks of waiting for things and reduced services and don’t get me started on booking a shoe appointment at Clark’s. Oh if the internet could laugh at you....
I’ve found I’ve missed a couple of deadlines for things and I’m annoyed at myself. I just couldn’t get myself motivated during lockdown.
But - I am getting suff done. I’m being productive now and that’s important.
Hope everyone else is doing well. Have a good day all.

Hope you have a good day @ErinBrockovich

You’re a braver woman than me even considering Clark’s!

I love a good list @ErinBrockovich. Don't give yourself a hard time I think a lot were the same re motivation, I certainly was.

Any chance you have an independent shoe shop you could try? I found a great one a few years back and while they are a few £ more per pair it's worth it as they fit properly last better and aren't served by a surly teenager

Morning all. Day 4 AF but we came on holiday yesterday and just woke up to what looks like constant rain today. Can see me reaching for a glass later!

@Cherrybakewellll nice to see you back! I would give it a go but a month seems a lot to me at the moment. I'm finding bursts of 3-4 days tend to work best for me. I've still been allowing myself a few drinks at the weekend but am pleased with how much I've cut back. I will try to do sober September as long as possible but I might not be the best candidate

That said I am looking forward to getting back on the healthy eating and exercise train once the dc go back to school. September always seems like a time of fresh starts to me.

@Patbutcherismyhero please tell me you're not in a tent in this?
To be fair you're right, 30 days straight does seem hard when I think we are both on the same mindset that a drink or two at the weekend is fine, it's just the case or two that needs to stop.

My husband and I had a chat last night, we were both saying that basically we've got to stop the weekend binges because it's just undoing all our hard work. So. This weekend I am aiming to make one bottle of Prosecco last all weekend and I'll allow myself to share a bottle of red Saturday and Sunday with DH at dinner.

On a positive note, I slept like a log last night. I woke up desperate for a wee (thanks to all the water I drank last night) and thought it was about 3am but it was 6.30! It's so rare that I sleep without disturbance so I'm a bit hypo this morning!

@Cherrybakewellll not a tent thankfully but we are quite remote and I was banking on good weather for outdoorsy stuff. Dc are chuffed...not.

You sound very much like me. I sleep well when I don't drink but I always always seem to need a wee in the night. Probably because alcohol dehydrates us a bit and we drink more water when we're AF?

Good goals for the weekends. I truly don't mind a few at the weekend at home it's just when it creeps into the week too. Good that you have your dp on side too x

@HotelRoomforOne hello! I'm still here, I've just not had the opportunity to sit down and reflect/write as I've been a bit busy/lazy. I also echo @AlCalavicci with liking to sit down and have a proper read of this thread and I've not been able to do that properly until now (although, this is basically me putting off doing the urgent deadline work that I have to do).

So, I am Day 16 AF which, when writing it down, does not seem as long as it feels! I had a good but challenging weekend - Friday was easy, took my daughter to see family at the beach (was brilliant) and then had a spontaneous phone call inviting myself and my husband to a friends for a small surprise party for my friend and her husband's anniversary. A guaranteed heavy drinking/bingeing all-nighter style do. I had proper anxiety and the fear about it and took a couple bottles of soda and lime but also took a bottle of vodka, just in case. Long story short, I drank the soda, ate some food and left at 9pm. Well chuffed! My husband rolled through the door at 4am - yuck. He was a bit rubbish in the morning. Sunday ended up popping to the pub with my husband, daughter and a friend of ours who is AF which was good, I had no temptation there. Husband stayed out until 8pm as we bumped into our group of drinking friends who were out celebrating a birthday (which we had declined) but I was home by 3pm. He wasn't in my good books for his general uselessness during the whole weekend. (makes a change for it to be him!).

We have a meal on Friday to celebrate our anniversary with my best friend and her husband but I'm driving and, since my testing weekend was such a success, I have zero desire to drink - I'm actually glad I went through all of the anxiety and fear for an evening that I wasn't that fussed about going to as it's made me realise I will be fine this weekend. Hurrah!

Hi!
I hope you don't mind me popping in? I've been reading all the threads as I'm sick of feeling terrible all the time, both physically and mentally.

I've drunk way too much my whole life and its really taking its toll on me now.
I'm fed up with the constant arguments with my OH, the pains in my back, forgetting entire evenings, saying and doing cringeworthy things.

My 11 year old asked me to stop getting drunk as it makes her feel uncomfortable, I have to try.

My plan is to try and cut out drinking during the week and then see if I can do the weekend too.

Unfortunately I ordered a case of wine (when drunk) not long ago, and I have a very rare evening out with OH tomorrow!

I read on one of the posts about an ap? could anyone point me in the right direction? Thanks, and well done all of you, I really hope I can feel a little proud of myself soon too!!

Welcome @floopy1.
@fluckityfluckfluck used the quit drinking app (screenshot attached). I think it tracks health changes, money saved, days AF etc.

@RandomGirl congrats on day 16 and keeping a clear head over the weekend. Must have felt nice when your DH was hungover. I’m imagining Marry Poppins style humming, dusting the odd ornament and sweetly smelling freshly cut flowers

@ErinBrockovich Thanks, I'll take a look!

I saw some people mention Craig Beck, When I tried to stop drinking a while ago I download his 'Quit Drinking Forever' hypnosis and used it to help me sleep, Obviously it didn't work forever as I'm back again, but I think it helped me a bit! Its also only £1.55 at Audible at the moment, so maybe worth a go for some of you, even if it just helps get more rest!!

My ex boyfriend just text out of the blue - another great reason to be sober, no chance of agreeing to a booty call sober 

Well done @RandomGirl on the 16 days and your sober socialising! Very impressive. Welcome @floopy1, this is a great group. Jump in

@ErinBrockovich Hahah! That’s exactly what happened! I was in the kitchen making a roast feeling very smug indeed

@RandomGirl well done on day 16 amazing news. And I bet your hubbys hangover was so much sweeter 

@fluckityfluckfluck hate it when that happens. You should reply saying sorry I'm sober now and coincidently you have lost all of your previous appeal.

Just managed a very blustery but dry walk. I had resigned myself to the fact that I'd have a few drinks tonight but not really fancying it at the minute. Will play it by ear!

@Patbutcherismyhero, It is horible when you go away and the weather is manky isn't it , I hope you find some good stuff to do .

@Cherrybakewellll
That sounds like a sensible target , and it is great to see your Dh is been supportive still .

@RandomGirl ,
Well done on the 16 days , it must of been very tempting to have a few while you were out , I admire your steadfastness. . I haven't been out socially since I packed it in but that's more because of the hours I am working rather than not wanting to test myself .

@floopy1 Welcome aboard
Have you read the thread that we meet on ?
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3945191-stopping-drinking-for-a-while?pg=2&messages=50
Have a read and you will get to know us all a bit better plus there are lots of AF drinks recommended too .
The App that I use is Try Dry is free on google play and I think on apple . It tracks your dry days , your planed to have a drink days and your bugger i had a drink days , it also tells you how many £s and calories you have saved .
Your little girl will be dead proud of you if you can get a grip of the beer

@BooksMusicSnacks Are you still with us its been a wile since you posted , I hope all is going well .

Oops , sorry here is the try dry link
play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=uk.org.alcoholconcern.dryjanuary&hl=en_GB

Amazing AF socialising @RandomGirl. So impressive.
I don't know how I will go if lockdown ever ends here. I haven't tested myself in the field yet..
I'll be drinking a lot of fizzy water and cucumber this summer.
Hat's off to You!

You're very welcome @floopy1
Hope you had a good night out with your partner. They can be so few and far between.
Do you have a friend you could gift your case of wine to?
For me, if it's in the house I'll drink it, all. I just won't stop til its gone!