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Tryers to be dryers spring into spring, not as much wine, beer or gin. We sow our seeds of hope for a dryer season, but if we drink, it's for a reason.

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Frouby Tue 02-Apr-19 07:27:06

Thread 5 for Tryers to be Dryers. A thread for those who want support for moderating or reducing alcohol. Whatever you hope to do, whether it's to have more dry days, or be less wet when you do drink, come and join us for support.

Absolutely no judgement here, just friendly support and chat, the odd swear (lots of swears to be honest). All welcome, new and old tryers to dryers.

OP’s posts: |
Dionysa Tue 02-Apr-19 08:23:54

🏅 to Frouby for thread titles. Hadn't noticed the other was so full!

Confession time. I did have a glass of wine yesterday lunchtime (it was offered, and it would have been rude to say no). However, being AF for the rest of the day feels like even more of an achievement, as I could have carried on.

As I went to bed, AF, I thought yet again that I never regret not having a drink. (Yet I still have a drink most nights confused).

Not making any resolutions about tonight, though, because I might end up disappointing myself.

Flossie44 Tue 02-Apr-19 08:24:02

Ahhh well done frouby. Who’d have thought hey when the first thread started we’d be still going like this!! You’re a star!!

Dionysa Tue 02-Apr-19 08:24:30

BTW, that's so sweet of your DS, NC4!

Anglaise1 Tue 02-Apr-19 09:14:10

Thanks for the new thread Frouby. Marking my place. AF last night, felt good this morning. I'd forgotten how much more energy you have when you don't drink anything the night before!

longestlurkerever Tue 02-Apr-19 19:03:10

Thanks for the new thread Frouby! Just on the way home from colleague's retirement drinks, early doors because I have to collect dd1. Had massive fight with DH. I said horrible things. Can't decide how bad to feel. Ooh just popped out of tunnel to see cheering rainbow though.

Dionysa Tue 02-Apr-19 20:31:52

FML. 2/3 bottle. No good reason.

Anglaise is so right that you feel so good the morning after not drinking!

Longest, I'm so sorry about your fight with DH. You have such a lot to cope with that it's not surprising if something blows every now and then. Hugs.

Frouby Tue 02-Apr-19 20:44:21

Longest I found it really difficult when dh was ill. He has had 2 serious illnesses, his bowel burst and he had peretonitus and a burst appendix and very, very nearly died, and then a heart attack a few years later.

It's such a lot of pressure on the well person. You have everything that 2 people do and worry about, plus a poorly person to look after and when it's something chronic it's not like you can say 'oh in 4 weeks he will be better so I can cope'. It's relentless. So whatever you said, I am sure it was for good reason and you are at the end of your tether. flowers and gin.

Not dry here but not soaking as usual. 2 beers and a gin. Could easily have done a 2nd gin but said no in the end.

Made lamb shish kebabs for dinner, they were bloody lovely. Much nicer than takeaway kebabs. Served them with kebab shop style cabbage salad, hummus, tzazaki and spicy mayonnaise. Will definetly do tham again.

Bastarding washing machine not working. Fml. Its under an extended warranty so they are coming out but not while Monday. Unless they get a cancellation. Fuck sake.

OP’s posts: |
Canshopwillshop Tue 02-Apr-19 21:14:09

Thanks Frouby. Marking my place and confessing to yet another v wet weekend and also Monday because it was our wedding anniversary so had champagne and wine to celebrate. AF tonight though and also tomorrow.

April is an emotional roller coaster of a month for me and DH. Our wedding anniversary, both our birthdays, the anniversaries of the deaths of my mum and my dad (on different days) and DH’s dad. Obviously also Easter hols so I think it’s going to be a bit of a struggle for me to stay off the vino!

Anglaise1 Tue 02-Apr-19 21:21:55

Frouby your poor DH. My brother nearly died of a burst appendix too, the doctor thought he had stomach ache 😮
Longest you have a lot to cope with, hopefully your outburst will help DH understand how much you do.
Dion at least it wasn't a full bottle!
I saw the endocrinologist today and she said my thyroid would have to be removed which is a bummer, I hoped that the meds would readjust the hormone production but it isn't that simple. Despite that I'm smugly Day 2. It makes surviving the clock change easier to bear too.

longestlurkerever Tue 02-Apr-19 22:26:30

Oh Anglaise, I am sorry. I don't know much about thyroids but I hope the surgery isn't too bad.

Thanks all for your kindness. I am not sure I deserve it. I am just not very good at being a nurse and DH is a pretty terrible patient. We have mostly made up. Just feel a bit down- there's not much joy in our lives atm. Hopefully will feel a bit brighter when period fucks off. Have a few days away next week too.

Dionysa Tue 02-Apr-19 22:40:41

Longest, you certainly do deserve it. Being ill long-term is obviously shit for your DH - but it's also incredibly hard for you. I'm glad you have mostly made up, but I know what you mean about there being not much joy ATM. Hugs meanwhile.

Anglaise, I"m so sorry that you're facing surgery. What a shame the meds didn't do the trick. Well done on Day 2. My evening was a complete waste as I not only had 2/3 bottle, but feel completely sober. So I will just be fatter and my liver will be cross with me, all to no particular effect.

Sorry, too, about the bastarding washing machine, Frouby. Still, who needs one for the best part of a week? confused Bit shocking to be reminded of your DH's run of ill health. It's hardly surprising we're all here, really.

Frouby Wed 03-Apr-19 06:39:26

Washing machine is a cunt Dion. It regularly dies but its under an extended warranty so am stuck with the fucker until it's fatally dead. Which will be soon I hope.

Dh is very lucky he's still here. But still drinks far too much ( a lot more than me). He needs to cut down but I can't get through to him how bad it is. He generally doesn't drink Friday and Saturday and thinks that's enough.

anglaise my dsis had her thyroid removed a couple of years ago, and some lymph nodes at the same time. She recovered really well from surgery, think she was home after 3 days. It took a while to get her meds right but shes fit and well now. You can hardly see her scar. She did have a bit of nerve damage but that improved with physio.

OP’s posts: |
Flossie44 Wed 03-Apr-19 06:41:11

Longest - so sorry to hear what a shit time you’re having. Like the others have have a chronically ill husband must take its toll on you heavily. You’re bound to say things in the heat of the moment..I’m surprised you don’t say these things more often. Shows what a caring loving person you must be. Does he realise the strain this is having on you? flowersflowers

Frouby - eeeek bastarding washing machine issues are hideous!! Feels like my right arm has been cut off in the past when mines decided to give up on me!! Those kebabs sounds lush!!

Dion - as anglais said..2/3 of a bottle wasn’t a whole one. So I’d say that’s moderating 😉

Still not had a dry day here in months. Varying degrees of wetness tho. Never a whole bottle. My moderation is leaving an inch in the bottom. It’s mostly this but sometimes I reduce it to two glasses. Trouble is the last couple of days I’ve had such burning when I swallow. Like the skin has been ulcerated from my mouth right down my throat and further. It’s bound to be from wine?? Have convinced myself it’s cancer and just terrified now. Why do I do this to myself. My fuck it button has just taken control and I’ve let it. I don’t drink til I’m pissed..that’s the issue..I can drink more these days without feeling I do!! Fml

Dionysa Wed 03-Apr-19 09:08:10

Flossie, I'd be thinking the same sad. Every time I have some kind of health thing, I'm convinced it's due to drinking, then am somehow unable just to press the off switch.

I stopped at 2/3 bottle because I got bored. It wasn't having any particular effect (I'd need a lot more than that to have an effect, now, unfortunately), and I just felt fed up. On the brighter side, I haven't bought any gin for several days, and am not intending to.

Frouby, can you give the washing machine a kick in the hope of killing it off? grin

Anglaise1 Wed 03-Apr-19 13:10:28

Flossie what do you do with the 2 inches of wine left in the bottle? Do you chuck them away or drink them the next evening?
Not missing wine at all. It helps DP is also AF.
Frouby good news for your dsis and her thyroid op. It is quit a straightforward op, but doctors here are really keen to do surgery even when there alternative solutions available.
I'm hoping to see another doctor to see if external radiation therapy is possible, but there are only 3 hospitals in France who offer the treatment so it means going to Paris.

Flossie44 Wed 03-Apr-19 13:40:19

Anglais - I drink the two inches. Then that night there are 4 inches!! I just always want to leave a bit in the bottle. Makes me feel I have SOME control!!
Ahhhh good luck finding a clinic to help you. Sounds awful for you. But it would be worth the travel wouldn’t it? We drive 6 hours to my daughters consultant and 6 hrs back. We always feel it’s been a worthwhile trip. I really do hope they can help flowers

chooco19 Wed 03-Apr-19 20:36:47

Hi all how is everyone doing ? I'm a single mum, and drink wine/spirits 5 nights a week and water the drinks down. I'm ashamed to say probably out habit boredom, stress whatever you wanna call it. I only ever have maximum 3 drinks as I wouldn't get drunk While I have children in the house. When children are at their fathers house I do get quite drunk! 🤨is there any other mums who drinks like me who have young children ??
Thanks xx I love the thread and wish I joined

Flossie44 Wed 03-Apr-19 22:21:28

Welcome chocco. You’ve found like minded peeps here.

I’m currently worried about the oesophageal pain..yet am typing while holding wine!! Had two very very large glasses. Ffs. Why can’t I bloody moderate or go AF!! Pissed off with myself but just can’t help myself!!

Dionysa Wed 03-Apr-19 23:07:31

I posted a message to Chocco earlier, so fuck knows why it doesn't show up here.

I have every health anxiety under the sun, was not intending to drink tonight, blah, blah. But I am decidedly not AF. FML a million times over.

Welcome, anyway, Chocco.

NC4Now Thu 04-Apr-19 00:28:54

Such a lot to catch up on! My first AF night for a while. I feel thoroughly depressed, and need to rein it in.
I’ve increased my meds and the side effects are making me feel rotten, so adding booze into the mix is unwise.
The good news is my bloods all came back clear, so I’m not diabetic, anaemic, or malfunctioning in any other way.
Insomnia is driving me mad so I’ll be back at a more sociable hour to catch up on all your news.
Thanks for the thread Frouby.

Anglaise1 Thu 04-Apr-19 05:44:48

WelcomeChooco. I used to drink on my own when my children were younger - I'm a single mum living in France so have no family nearby to help with childcare and wine was my friend. I took up sport seriously and when DD was old enough I was able to go out to sports clubs in the weekday evenings so stopped drinking then. Once I got into a habit of not drinking in the week it became normal and it was easier because I had no DP living with me to lead me astray. Try and set yourself a challenge, just 4 ot 5 days AF in the week, and see if you feel better. You should lose weight and save money too which are other advantages.
Day 4 AF today, DP is feeling better and lighter so I hopefully we will continue like this in the week from now on.

Canshopwillshop Thu 04-Apr-19 08:43:24

Anglaise - that is exactly what I’m aiming for - 4 AF weekdays. I really don’t want to totally give up. The most I seem to manage is 3 but this week it’s only 2. Sorry to hear about your thyroid. I hope you manage to get the alternative treatment you’d like.

Flossie - sorry to hear you are in pain. Go and get checked to put your mind at rest. It’s probably just a bit of acid heartburn. I am a terrible health worrier too but then just drink to block out the worry and anxiety!

I was meant to be AF last night but I crashed my car into the back of someone yesterday - she stopped suddenly in front of me to let someone who was waiting on the pavement cross the road - it wasn’t a crossing and it was right after a bloody roundabout FFS! Anyway, obviously my fault and I was a bit shaken up so I had a g&t and a couple of glasses of red ‘to calm my nerves’ 🙄

Welcome Chocco.

Frouby - bastard washing machine! Are you steadily accruing a washing mountain or are you able to use a friends?

Canshopwillshop Thu 04-Apr-19 08:44:30

NC4 - sorry you are feeling rotten but glad blood test are clear. Hope you managed some sleep last night.

Flossie44 Thu 04-Apr-19 10:55:35

Can shop - your car smash sounds hideous. My pet peev is when people slam on their brakes in front of you for reasons like that!! No wonder you weren’t AF!!

NC4 - glad bloods came back clear.

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