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Male gym employee walked into female changing rooms while I was naked

(393 Posts)
ShakinScarecrow Sun 08-Dec-19 21:51:14

I've recently joined a private family owned gym & spa.
It closes at 8pm on Sunday. The female changing rooms are open plan with 3 showers and no cubicles.

This evening I went swimming and left the pool at 7.45pm when asked to by a female employee. I then had come out of the shower and was naked at 8.01pm when a male employee walked into the female changing rooms.

There was a female employee cleaning, and another gym user who was dressed and just leaving the changing room and as she left he told her off for being late and said he would cancel her membership. It was at this point he walked right into the changing room, saw me naked and walked out. He did not knock, or announce he was coming in, or check if anyone was in there. He did not apologise not did the female employee.

Another female employee then came in, so there were 2 of them in there.
A minute or so later he came back in and I said "please don't come in I'm naked". He then stood by the door, where he couldn't see me, and told me off (I can't remember exactly what he said) asked how long I was going to be and said he would cancel my membership then left.
I said to the female employees this was unacceptable and should I complain to the owner. I asked if my membership would be cancelled as it was 8.03pm at that point. They said that they would let the owner know and someone shouted at this employee in the male changing rooms recently so he was in a 'bad mood', also that I shouldn't worry and he wouldn't cancel my membership as he just said that because of his bad mood.

I quickly dressed and left by 8:05. The 3 female employees were still cleaning various areas of the building. I don't know if any other gym users were there. As i left he was at the front desk scrolling on his phone, he did not acknowledge me.
I sat in my car and cried.

I know they do close at 8pm and he came in at 8.01, so it was after closing time. However, the staff were not waiting to leave and were still cleaning. He could have asked a female colleague to speak to me.

I've come home now and have a range of emotions- anger, humiliation, indignation. I'm absolutely going to complain to the owner. I don't feel comfortable going there again while he's there.
What should I do?

GreatestShowUnicorn Sun 08-Dec-19 22:06:40

Speak to the owners, he should have got the female employees to check first, but you were also being unreasonable for being late out, what was taking so long.

Muminabun Sun 08-Dec-19 22:17:15

So sorry this happened to you op. He knew what he was doing, he has done it many times before. This is his way of perving on women with what he thinks is a good excuse. Your gut reaction is the right one I would have felt the same. He has totally taken advantage of his position.

RabbitBeaver Sun 08-Dec-19 22:22:57

You were asked to get out at 7.45, so you had 16 mins by the time he came in. I'm done and out in 10 mins max. Get out earlier next time if you take that long. Probably just trying to get everyone out so they can go home as I doubt they'd be paid after 8.

Cohle Sun 08-Dec-19 22:23:11

I do think you need to leave the pool in good time to be out by closing time (he probably expected that having been in the changing rooms for 15 minutes you would be nearly done and therefore clothed), but obviously his behaviour was unacceptable.

TwoMuchTwoYoung Sun 08-Dec-19 22:53:34

What time would you have got out of the pool if you hadn’t been asked?
You were being very inconsiderate but he was also out of order.

EmpressJewel Sun 08-Dec-19 22:55:58

Yes, complain to the owners - he shouldn't have entered without checking first.

However, you shouldn't have been faffing around naked at 8pm if you knew the pool shut at this time. The staff probably don't get paid after 8pm and want to go home. If you need more than 15 minute, get out of the pool earlier.

cannotmakemymindup Sun 08-Dec-19 22:58:56

He was very very out of order. Also two wrongs don't make a right. So yes not great to be late but that does not make him being so unreasonable to customers correct at all. What would he have done if female employee hadn't even been in there at the same time as you? Terrible behaviour. I would be warning my friends to stay awat from that gym.

ChristmasMovie Sun 08-Dec-19 22:58:59

Sorry this happened.
How do you know the staff member wasn't female? Did they say that they identified as male? Many sports facilities and shopping changing rooms are now mixed sex with people choosing the one they feel more comfortable with re their gender.

DontCallMeShitley Sun 08-Dec-19 23:00:15

It closes at 8.00. Closes. That means you should be off the premises at 8.00, not piddling about with no clothes on at 8.01 or 8.03 or any time after they close.

If he was expecting everyone to have gone, as they should have done, he probably wasn't expecting someone to be taking advantage and not even being dressed when he wanted to check the place over and lock up.

Cleaners tend to clean when people have gone home so would expect them to be there after closing time, with the doors locked and all customers gone.

You are not a special case and should have got yourself ready and out so that cleaners could clean up after you and the staff could lock up and go home, not still be naked after closing time.

ShinyNewNameTime Sun 08-Dec-19 23:03:30

I don’t think the employee was unreasonable to assume that there would be someone completely naked in the changing room after the entire facility was closed. Any other time then it would be different.

ShinyNewNameTime Sun 08-Dec-19 23:04:08

*wouldn’t

Lulualla Sun 08-Dec-19 23:06:28

What were you still doing there? You didn't leave the pool until you were told to leave it so would you have just carried on swimming and expected them to stay open? And dont say you had time and would have been ready because you weren't even ready when you had that 15 minutes.

I'm sure he thought that woman infront of you was the last one. They were closed.

Oopsinamechangedagain2020 Sun 08-Dec-19 23:08:08

The male employee should have got a female employee to check there was no one in the changing rooms before he went in. I'm
assuming he went in there as the manager to check the cleaners had done their job. BUT whether you were in they're legitimately or not (as it was after closing time) he still should have either called out before entering or asked a female employee to check. In my opinion anyway. I really don't know a 'decent' male that wouldn't do this just in case. And also it would protect them from any complaints of sexual harassment.

nocoolnamesleft Sun 08-Dec-19 23:12:12

You should have been out of there by then. But that does not justify him not checking before entering. I wouldn't want to go there again.

gamerchick Sun 08-Dec-19 23:12:43

You were both in the wrong. If it takes you 15 minutes to shower then you need to get out earlier.

Complain about the bloke.

EstebanTheMagnificent Sun 08-Dec-19 23:12:51

He should have checked but given that the gym had closed he seems to have made the reasonable assumption that either all gym users had left, or that any who were still there would be dressed and walking out - not naked and at least five if not ten minutes away from being ready to leave. What were you thinking?

AfterSchoolWorry Sun 08-Dec-19 23:14:39

Were you in the shower for 16 minutes?

You should have been dressed and gone by 8. He didn't behave very politely but you must have been faffing about, which is quite inconsiderate when you knew the closing time.

Patroclus Sun 08-Dec-19 23:15:41

arrrgh despite his despicable behaviour I hate it when staff hover around you like that.

Patroclus Sun 08-Dec-19 23:17:11

Id also question what sort of state the place is being left in if they expect to leave the same time as customers.

Chocolateandchats Sun 08-Dec-19 23:18:05

I really disagree with above. If it was an accident he would have apologised. His behaviour was awful. Definitely complain and explain you are now uncomfortable around this staff member. The fact that the other staff members minimised it is also disgusting.

sarahjconnor Sun 08-Dec-19 23:18:31

I'm so sorry this happened to you. Complain to the owners. He should have had a female employee check the changing room, its obvious. He behaved aggressively and inappropriately. Make a complaint.

HandsOffMyRights Sun 08-Dec-19 23:19:10

*Sorry this happened.
How do you know the staff member wasn't female? Did they say that they identified as male? Many sports facilities and shopping changing rooms are now mixed sex with people choosing the one they feel more comfortable with re their gender.*

I would imagine the OP's eyes could see what sex this person is. Male.

How a man feels does not trump womens' safety, dignity and privacy. The single sex exemptions in the equality act mean that while some places do cower to accommodate some males' demands, men do not have an automatic right to invade female only spaces.

ArtichokeAardvark Sun 08-Dec-19 23:22:50

I'm more shocked that you sat in your car and cried just because a man walked in on you naked. Are you really that sensitive?

And YABU. I bet if you look there will be a sign up saying that changing rooms are checked by both male and female employees... Very normal. In an ideal world he should have got a woman to check there was nobody still changing first, but he's completely within his rights to chase up stragglers after closing time.

AfterSchoolWorry Sun 08-Dec-19 23:23:18

Well said HandsOffMyRights

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