Male gym employee walked into female changing rooms while I was naked

[ShakinScarecrow]

I've recently joined a private family owned gym & spa.
It closes at 8pm on Sunday. The female changing rooms are open plan with 3 showers and no cubicles.

This evening I went swimming and left the pool at 7.45pm when asked to by a female employee. I then had come out of the shower and was naked at 8.01pm when a male employee walked into the female changing rooms.

There was a female employee cleaning, and another gym user who was dressed and just leaving the changing room and as she left he told her off for being late and said he would cancel her membership. It was at this point he walked right into the changing room, saw me naked and walked out. He did not knock, or announce he was coming in, or check if anyone was in there. He did not apologise not did the female employee.

Another female employee then came in, so there were 2 of them in there.
A minute or so later he came back in and I said "please don't come in I'm naked". He then stood by the door, where he couldn't see me, and told me off (I can't remember exactly what he said) asked how long I was going to be and said he would cancel my membership then left.
I said to the female employees this was unacceptable and should I complain to the owner. I asked if my membership would be cancelled as it was 8.03pm at that point. They said that they would let the owner know and someone shouted at this employee in the male changing rooms recently so he was in a 'bad mood', also that I shouldn't worry and he wouldn't cancel my membership as he just said that because of his bad mood.

I quickly dressed and left by 8:05. The 3 female employees were still cleaning various areas of the building. I don't know if any other gym users were there. As i left he was at the front desk scrolling on his phone, he did not acknowledge me.
I sat in my car and cried.

I know they do close at 8pm and he came in at 8.01, so it was after closing time. However, the staff were not waiting to leave and were still cleaning. He could have asked a female colleague to speak to me.

I've come home now and have a range of emotions- anger, humiliation, indignation. I'm absolutely going to complain to the owner. I don't feel comfortable going there again while he's there.
What should I do?

*I’m fucking sick to the back teeth of posters making excuses for this asshole. Any member of staff that works in an area where people are likely to be undressed know bloody rightly that they should give a warning that they wish to enter, in case if stragglers. The OP may have been in the wrong fit not being out at 8pm on the site, but that nasty piece of work knew rightly what he was doing and deliberately walked in to humiliate her, even coming back to upset her again.

This is completely out of order OP and as for those insensitive posters that are telling you to get over yourself, they’re probably the woke ones that are more than happy to see the disappearance of female only spaces. They’re just using your upset to make themselves feel superior, which I assure you it doesn’t. I’m very sorry you were humiliated in that way and you should definitely report it, as nothing excuses his creepy behaviour.*

Agree completely. Some of these responses are completely ridiculous.

Staff want to go home too. He was entitled to be pissed off. No doubt people not leaving on time happens every single shift and staff are fed up with it.

A minute or so later he came back in and I said "please don't come in I'm naked". He then stood by the door, where he couldn't see me, and told me off (I can't remember exactly what he said) asked how long I was going to be and said he would cancel my membership then left.

Maybe OP should have put some clothes on rather than standing around, for even longer, naked. How long does it take to put on a bloody towel?

Is he supposed to hide from the desk incase OP sees him? Grief.

As I said, he handled it poorly but stop with the poor OP is an innocent little flower routine. If she'd got out at half past, had a 2 min shower then she could have stood around naked for as long as she seemingly did without getting walked in on. Yanno, because it was still open.

I'm staggered at the amount of people essentially victim blaming.

He's done this before, clearly enjoys the power trip.

If you don't think you can go back whilst he is there, then you'll need to find a new gym. I doubt he'll be sacked for going into the changing room after closing time. It doesn't matter that the cleaners were there. They're supposed to clean after the members have left.

Why would you, or anyone else, want to be a member of a place where staff are so rude to customers?

What a load of bollocks. I go somewhere where the pool closes at 9pm. That means you have to be out of the POOL by 9pm, not the bloody building. The staff obviously do not leave at the same time as the customers, and don’t skulk around the changing rooms timing how long customers shower for and threatening to cancel their memberships 😂

Never mind some arsey little twat walking in on naked women.

Why on earth are people defending this? If they need people out by 8pm on the dot then they should advertise the pool as closing at 7.45pm.

Even then, part of going to a nice pool/gym is having a relaxing shower afterwards, not being shepherding out the door.

OP was a paying customer, she didn’t pop round to the bloke’s house on his day off and then refuse to leave.

Agree @crackediphone

What is wrong with some people? OP, you're not unreasonable to be upset that a man walked into the changing room when you were naked. Men should not be walking into the women's changing rooms, and it being one minute after hours (seriously, people? really?) does not make it OK for him to do that. You should report him to the gym. The ignoring you and scrolling on his phone while you were leaving rather than apologising for walking in on you should be reported too.

How do you know the staff member wasn't female? Did they say that they identified as male? Many sports facilities and shopping changing rooms are now mixed sex with people choosing the one they feel more comfortable with re their gender.

And this comment is a perfect example of why those policies are terrible and need to be challenged.

How did you know it was 8.01 if you were naked? Also, how did you manage to fanny about for 16 minutes after leaving the pool?!

Why on earth are people defending this? If they need people out by 8pm on the dot then they should advertise the pool as closing at 7.45pm.

I am assuming from the OP that the building shuts at 8 - also the OP was asked the leave the pool at 7.45!

To*

How did you know it was 8.01 if you were naked?

Have you ever heard of clocks? Phones? Or do you think people lose the ability to read the time when they take their clothes off?

Oh, and she was there at 8.03. A whole three fucking minutes over, probably five upon leaving.

How did you know it was 8.01 if you were naked?
Gosh. I can only surmise she picked up the telephone and called the speaking clock.

*How did you know it was 8.01 if you were naked?

Have you ever heard of clocks? Phones? Or do you think people lose the ability to read the time when they take their clothes off?*

Well considering OP needed to be told to leave the pool at 7.45, and then had a stupidly long shower, then appeared to stand around naked for minutes, perhaps she should have done a bit more with the information she read from the clock. Ie "oh it's quarter to, I should have got out earlier than now because it takes me too long to shower. I'll forget the shower and shower at home as I've left it too late"

Just an idea.

There is no excuse for him to walk in knowing that women are changing . Even you being late . Complain

I work in a similar customer service jobs and there is always always a 10/15 min 'stragglers time' for late customers added on.
The idea of him walking in on you, shouting & mainly not apologising- I would feel like you do about it & would complain.

Even if she hadn't been naked standing in the doorway screaming at customers that you're going to cancel their memberships because you're in a bad mood is just not on. This person should not be working with the public unless he can learn to control his temper. Complain, you'll be doing a public service!

When I last used a private gym and a member was walking around naked, it just felt so awkward.
I know you’re in a changing facility- but it is easy to cover your modesty and keep your dignity.

It’s not your fault he walked in and he should’ve pre warned you, his attitude after was also appalling.

The last entry to the gym, pool and spa is 7.30pm. I'm not sure if 'closes at 8' for this business means they expect people to be off the premises by 8.
Last time I used the gym until closing time they didn't ask people to leave. When I did leave on this previous occasion a few minutes late and said sorry, they said it's no problem.
I knew what time it was as I checked my phone. I left the premises today at 8.05pm. There are no signs that say the female changing rooms will be checked by men.
It was definitely a man. Height, build, depth of voice indicated this.
I expect a female changing room to be a safe space. I was naked as unfortunately there are no cubicles. I was naked for about a minute or so while I dried myself with a towel.
This employee should not have come in to the female changing room twice. He walked in, without checking and saw me naked. He then came back in a minute later. That is not defensible. He did not apologise on either occasion.
His behaviour was a violation of my dignity and privacy.
I will make a formal complaint to the owner. Whatever happens to him as a result is not my responsibility.

You shouldn’t have been there anyway when he walked in. The pool closes at 8 - that means the building, so you should have been out of the building by 8.

Why did you even have to be asked to leave the pool at 7:45pm? Knowing you take so long to get ready after getting out of the pool you should have been out of it on your own accord by 7.40pm at the latest.

Yeah that's crazy. If they're desperate to close on time, why not just have a female employee come in and remind you that they're closing in 10 minutes, or do it over the loud speaker. I'm baffled why posters are rushing to defend this awful man.

Why was the man naked? He was at work. He shouldn't have been naked. Even in the ladies changing area, he shouldn't be naked. It sound like a very unprofessional gym and I would write a letter to the owner. These new pure gyms with nude staff is just too much. How can anyone concentrate on getting healthy with Willie's and bums everywhere?! This is why I do aerobics at home in my lounge. Lot safer, and definitely no loose Willie's to ruin it

Letting people enter the pool at 7:30 if they want everyone off the premises at 8 is just silly. Are they thinking there''s a pressing demand for customers who want to do 2 or 3 laps only?

Again, he was out of line for walking into the women's changing room at all, for doing so without knocking, for not leaving immediately when he saw a naked woman, for shouting, and for threatening to cancel people's memberships because he was in a bad mood. The fact that the cleaning staff were making excuses for him suggests to me that this probably wasn't the first time he was an arsehole to a customer. He deserves to be sacked.