Male gym employee walked into female changing rooms while I was naked

[ShakinScarecrow]

I've recently joined a private family owned gym & spa.
It closes at 8pm on Sunday. The female changing rooms are open plan with 3 showers and no cubicles.

This evening I went swimming and left the pool at 7.45pm when asked to by a female employee. I then had come out of the shower and was naked at 8.01pm when a male employee walked into the female changing rooms.

There was a female employee cleaning, and another gym user who was dressed and just leaving the changing room and as she left he told her off for being late and said he would cancel her membership. It was at this point he walked right into the changing room, saw me naked and walked out. He did not knock, or announce he was coming in, or check if anyone was in there. He did not apologise not did the female employee.

Another female employee then came in, so there were 2 of them in there.
A minute or so later he came back in and I said "please don't come in I'm naked". He then stood by the door, where he couldn't see me, and told me off (I can't remember exactly what he said) asked how long I was going to be and said he would cancel my membership then left.
I said to the female employees this was unacceptable and should I complain to the owner. I asked if my membership would be cancelled as it was 8.03pm at that point. They said that they would let the owner know and someone shouted at this employee in the male changing rooms recently so he was in a 'bad mood', also that I shouldn't worry and he wouldn't cancel my membership as he just said that because of his bad mood.

I quickly dressed and left by 8:05. The 3 female employees were still cleaning various areas of the building. I don't know if any other gym users were there. As i left he was at the front desk scrolling on his phone, he did not acknowledge me.
I sat in my car and cried.

I know they do close at 8pm and he came in at 8.01, so it was after closing time. However, the staff were not waiting to leave and were still cleaning. He could have asked a female colleague to speak to me.

I've come home now and have a range of emotions- anger, humiliation, indignation. I'm absolutely going to complain to the owner. I don't feel comfortable going there again while he's there.
What should I do?

I suppose you could say that your parents assign you a name, but that's about it.

The OP wasn't 3 minutes late though.

She was still undressed at 8:03pm, meaning that she was still a minimum of 5 minutes away from leaving (let's face it, probably more like another 15 minutes).

OP herself posted that she has been late before as a previous staff member said at few minutes late was fine.

I'm not excusing his behaviour, I'm just pointing out that OP has form for leaving late on at least two occasions.

Hear hear HandsOffMyRights. FFS the first 'woke' comment didn't take long did it.

I work in a job that occasionally involves going into changing rooms. We knock and call out to see if anyone's in there before we go in, even if the time means it's incredibly unlikely anyone is in there, because we aren't scumbags who want to compromise the dignity of the people using the service and because WE DON'T WANT TO SEE ANYONE NAKED.

It's pretty clear to anyone with half a brain that a man who walks into a female changing room 3 minutes after closing risks there being stragglers. There's no other possible conclusion than that he knew exactly what he was likely to see when he decided to do that. Definitely complain, OP.

I'm not excusing his behaviour, I'm just pointing out that OP has form for leaving late on at least two occasions

Her and thousands of other people no doubt. If it's a problem.then you have to change your policies a bit. Like say not letting Anyone in after 7. And getting people out the pool at 730 .

Youd have no customers left at all if you screwed at everyone who left 5 mins late.

You may believe that people's sexes are observed at birth, and sex segregation should take place, where appropriate, according to that, but that makes zero difference if the policy is that anyone can access whichever area they feel is most comfortable.

If OP complains and the staff member states they identify as a woman, then the gym, depending on their policy, may see no wrongdoing. Deep voice, height etc or no.

@TheProdigalKittensReturn True

@ChristmasMovie But op hasn't said that is the case, so you are pushing the issue to push your agenda.

There is no need for it on a thread where up was clearly upset.

Sarah as I wrote, the OP would have been more than 5 minute late if she was still undressed at 8:03.

Why should a company have to put in an policy about exiting? What about personal responsibility? I could swim until 7:45pm and still be out by 8pm. If I knew I needed longer to get changed, I would leave the pool earlier.
The staff who work there have their own lives and commitments outside of work. It's disrespectful to expect them to not be able to finish their work and leave on time because others can't manage their own time.

There is no need for it on a thread where up was clearly upset

She’ll be even more upset if the gym calls her a bigot

I think christmas is giving a heads up...the more people who see this the better

Tbh I get really pissed off with the general publics view of "service workers". It's fine for you to be late because you've been late before and they didn't mind. I worked in hospitality for over 10 years and I used to hate how people didn't give a shiny shit about the staff. They would prance about after closing and complain when we had to tell them to leave. I made my entire team totally up how long we worked for free over a month thanks to entitled customers and it was shocking.

That being said, he was a twat. He spoke to you badly, he didn't announce himself when he entered the changing room and he was straight on the defensive and used an aggressive tone and made you feel like shit. That is not okay.

I do think you were taking the piss (especially as you admit you are a repeat offender) but he needs to understand why what he did was wrong and face some repercussions.

@heartsonacake more deflection. At least own up to the fact you’re an apologist for creepy men in women’s spaces.

Oh come on, I work in hospitality and you can tell people til the cows come home what time closing time is and they still sit there having a leisurely chat with their friends after closing time and then come up to settle the bill. While we might pack up round them and make it obvious we are closed they have at least 10 minutes grace before we tell them it's closing time unless we are rushing to get out for some reason.

Exactly. Yes my husband is in the same boat with his job. Yes it’s annoying yes some people are dicks and seemingly oblivious to the fact staff have been there 13 hours and want to go home but his feet wouldn’t touch the ground if he was rude or abusive to customers.

Shit procedures at gym: if everyone is experiencing out at 8 they need to start clearing the pool earlier.

Utterly unacceptable behaviour from the male employee: invading a member‘s privacy and shouting at her. He needs disciplined for that. No man should be invading a female changing area.

Can’t believe the number of apologists for his shit behaviour on here. Perhaps the male employee should cease identifying as a creepy dickhead.

OP I am not excusing the man’s behaviour - he was very rude and I would have been upset - however your update confirms this wasn’t the first time you were late leaving the premises so I am wondering if the staff are generally pissed off with you not abiding by the rules ? My gym closes at 10.00pm most nights and everyone knows you need to be out of the building by 10.

I’m with you op. I wouldVe been shocked, frightened and very upset.
It would’ve have probably triggered every unpleasant memory Id ever had with the opposite sex when I’ve been in a vulnerable position. Like a male nurse knowing I was in a toilet Producing a sample with no locked door coming in with some made up excuse to talk to me..was later sacked as he had form for this.
The fact is..you don’t know what is going to happen next.
Where the two of you alone in the building? The last thing you would expect after he’d ‘mistakenLy’ walked in was him coming back to have another go.

I’d be ringing the gym this morning and telling them I’m reporting the incident to the police.

Late or not he was bang out of order. He bullied you . Even if he’d come back to apologise , which he hadn’t , he should’ve waited till you were dressed and leaving the building.

If this is the sort of person they employ who can’t keep their anger in check I’d have serious concerns that there aren’t any secret cameras in these areas.
It was just horrible and you did the right thing letting the tears and humiliation out in the car before you drove home.
I hope you had someone to comfort you when you got in.

Ah, I’ve just reread your original post
There was another female employee in there with you ..you weren’t alone
Is that correct?
( doesn’t make what he did right, I’d just thought you were alone)
Then when he came back you’d been joined by another female employee...I think.

If they are letting people into the pool at half seven they cant be worried about then.Leaving by 8.

*surrendered supporters

Grim behaviour. I'd send a written complaint straight to head office.
How that man behaved is completely inappropriate, end of story.

Can’t believe the number of apologists for his shit behaviour on here. Perhaps the male employee should cease identifying as a creepy dickhead

I totally agree. Unless there is a specific clause in the T&C that says you must be out at 20.00 on the dot and we can cancel your membership the first time we have to challenge you for this’ then the guy was being a total prick. Is he the membership police or something?

I just checked my leisure centre, mid week they close at 22.00 and the pool/gym shut at 21.15/21.30 respectively. But at the weekend the centre shuts at 20.00 and so does the pool/gym. Presumably they’re not expecting people to leave in their dripping costumes so I guess they have staff employed beyond closing time to see customers off the premises.

I’d suggest to the owner that she draws up a similar timetable, either close the pool/gym ahead of closing and/or give a set time the centre must be vacated.

As for the man barging in, I’m stunned anyone thinks this is ok just because it was beyond closing time. Unless this centre is huge presumably the staff knew the last swimmer had finished at 19.45 so there’s a chance she’d still be changing? I don’t hang about at the swimming baths but even I’d struggle to be out in exactly 15 minutes. The guy sounds like a creep.

Hang on, just check I've got this right:
OP had to be told to get out the pool because the gym has a closing time
Male worker came into female changing area after the gym was closed
He saw the OP naked
He left
Then came back a few minutes later, and from the door where he couldn't see her asked her how long she was going to be and mentioned her membership being a risk

And yet the worker was wrong here?

Ideally he should have called through first just in case there was someone who decided the closing times didn't apply to them, however the OP has said that in their previous gyms they weren't pushed to leave on time when it closes and that theyve been late out before, so it seems very much like they're objecting to be chivvied along by staff who don't want to be working unpaid overtime to facilitate people who take their time.

Some people don't seem to realise that other people's working hours don't revolve around them, see also the person who orders loads 2 mins before closing time in a pub but wants to drink them at a leisurely pace, the people who know a cafe closes at 5:30, turn up at 5:25 and then are only half way through their drink at 5:30 as the staff are cleaning up around them, people who want to use the changing rooms at 5:55 when the shop closes at 6pm and then slowly meander across to the till at 6:03.

The way I would look at it is this- he could have walked in on a young body conscious teenage girl/child, or a person suffering from acute anxiety potentially provoking a serious panic attack. Alternatively, you could have been an elderly lady or a disabled person who needed a little bit longer to shower or get changed.

There are absolutely no excuses for him to walk in to a female changing room where there is a potential for customers to still be there in a vulnerable state.

Please, please complain about this horrid individual.

*Male worker came into female changing area after the gym was closed
He saw the OP naked
He left
Then came back a few minutes later, and from the door where he couldn't see her asked her how long she was going to be and mentioned her membership being a risk

And yet the worker was wrong here?*

Well, yes.

The OP mentions he was at the front desk when she left so I’m guessing he was the receptionist/assigned front of house duties that day.

All the leisure’s centres I’ve gone to the staff communicate by walky talky about the situation regarding customers/shutting the pool. So presumably he knew there was a straggling female swimmer, he knew she hadn’t left and still walked into the female changing room unannounced?

Where I work we have male and female cleaners, and I’ve heard male employees knock, the open the door a small amount and shout asking if it’s ok to come in. That’s just common sense surely?

And as for saying her membership was at risk, how is this reasonable if it’s the first time they’ve had the conversation about lateness? Surely a ‘can I have a word’ conversation at the desk as the OP was leaving would have been more appropriate?