Male gym employee walked into female changing rooms while I was naked

[ShakinScarecrow]

I've recently joined a private family owned gym & spa.
It closes at 8pm on Sunday. The female changing rooms are open plan with 3 showers and no cubicles.

This evening I went swimming and left the pool at 7.45pm when asked to by a female employee. I then had come out of the shower and was naked at 8.01pm when a male employee walked into the female changing rooms.

There was a female employee cleaning, and another gym user who was dressed and just leaving the changing room and as she left he told her off for being late and said he would cancel her membership. It was at this point he walked right into the changing room, saw me naked and walked out. He did not knock, or announce he was coming in, or check if anyone was in there. He did not apologise not did the female employee.

Another female employee then came in, so there were 2 of them in there.
A minute or so later he came back in and I said "please don't come in I'm naked". He then stood by the door, where he couldn't see me, and told me off (I can't remember exactly what he said) asked how long I was going to be and said he would cancel my membership then left.
I said to the female employees this was unacceptable and should I complain to the owner. I asked if my membership would be cancelled as it was 8.03pm at that point. They said that they would let the owner know and someone shouted at this employee in the male changing rooms recently so he was in a 'bad mood', also that I shouldn't worry and he wouldn't cancel my membership as he just said that because of his bad mood.

I quickly dressed and left by 8:05. The 3 female employees were still cleaning various areas of the building. I don't know if any other gym users were there. As i left he was at the front desk scrolling on his phone, he did not acknowledge me.
I sat in my car and cried.

I know they do close at 8pm and he came in at 8.01, so it was after closing time. However, the staff were not waiting to leave and were still cleaning. He could have asked a female colleague to speak to me.

I've come home now and have a range of emotions- anger, humiliation, indignation. I'm absolutely going to complain to the owner. I don't feel comfortable going there again while he's there.
What should I do?

Fuck the timing.
No one with half a clue would truly think a private gym expects people to be all out of the door at closing time or face the chop and a shouting at.

I would complain with the absolute maximum of fuss and indignation.

Because they have shit procedures for close down;
You had your privacy violated (it isn’t your fault there are no cubicles),
You were humiliated. You were spoken to in an intimidating way while in a vulnerable position. You were threatened with financial punishment.

There is no way you can continue to use that gym with no cubicles knowing that the staff don’t give two fucks.

Perhaps this gym is run by people blithely unconcerned with making a profit, but I'd guess that they probably don't want staff treating customers like that.

I've skimmed over all the misogynistic responses from the trolls.

I asked in my opening post what I should do. Thanks to those of you who have given me some useful ideas about what to put in my complaint.
I'm going to give the owner of the business a chance to rectify this before I post any reviews online.
I'll be letting them know I don't feel comfortable going there while he's there. If he gets sacked before Christmas I don't give a shit; he's an adult employee who is presumably well aware that he shouldn't be going into the women's changing rooms without checking and shouting at paying customers. It was definitely an attempt to intimidate a vulnerable woman.
The female owner values customer service, it's one of the ways they promote their business. I very much doubt she will accept his behaviour as justified if a customer is 5 minutes late to leave.

Look at it this way, if he gets sacked at least you know he was not following his training, so that’s his fault and no one else’s. Though I’d say, unless there have been other issues with him, they’ll probably punish him another way.

Oh hell no. What that man did was disgusting and I would file a formal complaint with the owner as soon as they open in the morning. In fact he should be fired fuckin pervert.

His behavior was completely unacceptable. And I am quite sure the op knows it was a man ffs

Oh come on, I work in hospitality and you can tell people til the cows come home what time closing time is and they still sit there having a leisurely chat with their friends after closing time and then come up to settle the bill. While we might pack up round them and make it obvious we are closed they have at least 10 minutes grace before we tell them it's closing time unless we are rushing to get out for some reason.

This man was out of line. At the very least he should have called out and asked if anyone was in there. Most businesses that are in customer service allow a grace period after close time, this man needs to get out of his role of he can't handle it.

If you want people out if the building by 8pm, you should clear the pool by 7:30pm, if not earlier. While some people can be out of the water, showered, dried and dressed in 15 minutes, not everyone will manage it in that time, especially if they want to dry their hair (even I blow dry my hair after swimming if it's really frosty out - it's the only time I ever do.)

I would say their expectations that all customers will be gone from the building by 8pm if they clear the pool at 7:45 is optimistic. Even if they have massive signs up about it everywhere (which it doesn't sound like they have,) it's still sensible to knock before going into an opposite sex changing room. It was definitely unreasonable to then choose to step back in, berate the customer and threaten them with cancelling their membership. It wasn't likely to help anyone get dressed more quickly. Even if it was a repeat late leaver, then it would have made more sense to talk to them after they had dressed and to stop them at reception, and just a reasonable discussion, with a warning about cancellations if someone keeps doing it - not the first time it happens though.

Do they have a set of terms and conditions when you sign up? Does it say anything about being out if the building by a particular time? Most pools close the changing rooms/building later than the actual pool, to give customers time to shower and dress - and it's usually a longer period than 15 minutes.

Can certainly see the tories are in for te election atm. What a load of sexist old shit being spouted. If you cant handle spending 5 minutes longer at work as a manager, you're in the wrong job- likewise if you're leaving at the same time as customers.

No one with half a clue would truly think a private gym expects people to be all out of the door at closing time or face the chop and a shouting at

This, it's crazy on its own, but also a man just walking in to the women's changing room with no warning is beyond the pale.

This is unacceptable under any circumstances.
If they had an issue with you staying inside there for too long, a female staff member should have gone in. I honestly cannot believe some people would justify this action.

Write a formal complaint to the owner and ask them how they are going to prevent this from ever happening again. If they don’t take it seriously I would make sure that every woman in my circle knew how disrespectful they are of women’s right to privacy and dignity.

If you want people out if the building by 8pm, you should clear the pool by 7:30pm, if not earlier. While some people can be out of the water, showered, dried and dressed in 15 minutes, not everyone will manage it in that time, especially if they want to dry their hair (even I blow dry my hair after swimming if it's really frosty out - it's the only time I ever do.)

Well yeah, they happy to take your money and let you in arent they. Then suddenly you are a problem... Stragglers are annoying but you get them everywhere. Pubs always have the 10.58 guy etc.

There must be plenty to get on with. . And the end of day toilet check never involves yelling

I am a man.

Lack of warning, checking before entering is unacceptable, and grounds for complaint. As others have said, two wrongs don't make it right.

Tbh honest op, I’d be cancelling my own membership and finding a decent gym. Behaviour not acceptable on any level. Cancelling membership because someone is 3 minutes late leaving?? Needs reminding who the business needs in order to survive.

'customer is 5 minutes late to leave.'

But you would have been longer than 5 mins if you were still naked at 8.03 18 mins after getting out.

Ask what the procedure is when male staff need to enter the female changing area (ours knock and check). And if this changes at a specific time. He sounds like a bully. If last entry is 7.30 then I don't personally think you were in the wrong in any way.

I would be making a massive noise on this. Rudeness isn’t acceptable, doesn’t matter what the time is.

As for him walking in the changing rooms. I would go absolutely nuts! Doesn’t matter that you were 1 minute late. This would never be remotely acceptable.

I joined a private gym recently with my 13 year old daughter. Had this happened to her I would be having a chat with my community PCSO. When being shown round we went in and checked the changing rooms were empty before the owner came in with us. No female staff present.

I'd cancel my membership and leave a factual review online.

If it's family-owned then I'd guess that a staff member who behaves like that is probably a family member too, and unlikely to get fired.

I would not pay money to go somewhere I felt unsafe or disrespected.

(Strictly speaking you should've been out by 8)

shakin

I’m really sorry this happened to you

The man was completely out of order to both walk in on you and threaten you

Appreciate that you were late out and as someone who worked in retail i would have found that fucking irritating but a quiet request outside as you were leaving would have been sufficient.

I honestly can’t believe some of the replies...5 minutes late so you deserved being shamed and embarrassed? ridiculous

The man probably thought no one was there seeing as the whole building was closed.

I dunno, when I used to close up a pub at the end of the night I always shouted very loudly, knocked and waited before checking the Gents was empty.

He was unreasonable but could also argue at 8 that nobody should be in there because it closes. Why were you still swimming at 7.45 unless you were not intending to shower.

Wow Mumsnet is so good at making people feel bad!!! I'm sorry this happened to you op. Those bashing you for being 3 minutes late have clearly never been exposed completely naked informer of a stranger of the opposite sex before! It's awful!! I also worry that the staff member came in once saw you were naked and came in again without announcing himself, there's NO excuse for that! Never mind as an employee but as a decent human being! I wonder if all these late police can honestly say they've never heard the "this store is closing please come to the tills" announcement and not carried on browsing the aisle they're in??!! What is it with everyone on here being so heartless and holding people to silly standards?! I joined this site thinking it was a community for SUPPORT and advice... I was wrong!
OP I would speak to the manager, you were exposed unnecessarily, and actually hope he DOES cancel your membership so you can find a nicer one where staff don't threaten to cancel memberships to customers faces like he's some power hungry god!! Xxx

@ChristmasMovie assigned male at birth

No one is assigned anything at birth. Sex is determined from conception.