School holidays with 2 working parents??????????

[Tom]

How the hell do you manage school holidays????

My boy, Cole, is eligible for State Nursery this September - between 1 and 3.30 pm. After payin gover £200 a week for nursery, this is a blessed relief, and it's not hard to figure out how things can work in term time...

My wife and I both work from home, with complete flexibility... so she can look after our boy in the morning until he goes to nursery at 1pm, and I'll work early morning until 3.30, then pick him up and take over until bedtime... easy. BUT.

What the hell do you do in the school holidays? I get 5 weeks holiday a year, and she is self employed, so if she stops working, she stops earning. It's about 13/14 weeks in the year when there's no childcare provision whatsoever... or at least none that I know about.

So it seems like we'll have to keep him in day nursery until he goes to school proper in a year's time, which will cost us loads, but he'll get decent educational input and there's no problem with holidays... OR... another solution that I've not heard of yet.

And anways, when he starts school, the same problems remain - what the hell do you do in the school holidays?????

Most grandparents work. You re very lucky if you have a parent who is available for childcare.

Hmm, why don't you pay your childcarer more if you think he/she is underpaid? My childcarer gets paid very well...in fact better than I do.

Does that mean that grandparents who look after their grandchildren for free are completely worthless?

I agree Tom, and those that do not work may not be fit enough to look after grand children. My father is dead and my mother aged 76 has senile dementia.

My highly qualified, intellegent and wonderful childminder would be offended at being called a monkey. Shame on you for making silly generalisations Serephina

Totally agree with Tinker..why should grandparents look after grandchildren? Fine if they want to but they have raised there own kids and have the right to some time off if they are fortunate to not be working.

My Mum raised me and my brother and I would never dream of asking her to childmind...she is 64..she is allowed to have her own life!

Haven't read everyone elses post s but just saw read when I read yours Serephina, do you olive in the real world?

This family works really hard just to keep a roof over our heads and pay for the basics and that in itself takes two incomes.

I may be being oversensitive but your post is extremely insulting. You are assuming that families where two parents work don't prioritise their children!

Tom, we are in the same situation as yo and yes it is indeed a nightmare. When I was a single parent most of my holiday time would be used up in days when my daughter was sick so that didn't ever seem to give us a real holiday (IYKWIM). Eventually after juggling, juggling, juggling with other people and faking illness on occassions I found a holiday club which was wonderful but far too expensive (although I had to use it). Now I have a toddler and a teenager the toddler is catered for by his childminder but their is no hope for the teenager. It looks like she will have to be a latch key kid for the entire summer (which I am not happy about). Any solutions to this dilemma would be very welcome too....

Soupdragon, if you are happy with the care your child receives then fair play to you. Personally I would rather give my child personal attention despite the financial penalties myself and dp pay for this.
Tinker, surely the fact that you have no constructive answer to my post shows that I have already "won" the "argument" if we were actually having one. I thought we were merely debating a subject and discussing alternate opinions.

Sorry about typos... really should preview!

and I agree , I would never leave my child with a monkey, how dare that be suggested . I don't know where you are but,I can assure you that the staff at my ds' nursery are not paid that badly,particularly compared to some other 'vocations' and I think they are worth every penny.

Soupdragon, if you are happy with the care your child receives then fair play to you. Personally I would rather give my child personal attention despite the financial penalties myself and dp pay for this.
Tinker, surely the fact that you have no constructive answer to my post shows that I have already "won" the "argument" if we were actually having one. I thought we were merely debating a subject and discussing alternate opinions.

Soupdragon, if you are happy with the care your child receives then fair play to you. Personally I would rather give my child personal attention despite the financial penalties myself and dp pay for this.
Tinker, surely the fact that you have no constructive answer to my post shows that I have already "won" the "argument" if we were actually having one. I thought we were merely debating a subject and discussing alternate opinions.

Nope, I've glanced again and can't find anything that you've said that requires a constructive answer merely smug, ill-informed nonsense. My childminder, like Sofia's, earned more than me.

Seraphia, you haven't given your solution to the situation that single parents find themselves in?

Well just read all of this and have decided I would rather be Tom's, or Soupdragon's, or Bossy Kate's, or Marina's, or Aloha's, or SofiaAmes child than Seraphina's. That way I might learn about tolerance, and respect for decisions of others, and acceptance of diverse opinions, and indeed admiration for people who care for other people, at my mother's knee.

Night all

Well said everyone...I'm lost for words.
You are lucky Seraphina: You have a partner, you only "need" to work part-time (or do you just enjoy your working??), and your parents are close enough and able to help you out - what an ideal life. Many of us are not as lucky as you and all of us do the best we can for our children. I think that I am lucky just to be able to work part time - (I use my money to feed/clothe us all - I'd be a bit stuck without it.)But I struggle in the holidays which was wherre I came into this thread earlier today!
It isn't just about having a good relationship with your parents - its about them being around in the first place, fit enough, well enough, and geographically close enough!!
Seraphina - peanuts/monkies: what about Nurses then? - my sisters a very hard working nurse who has to perform the most dreadful tasks is paid a very low salary - nurses are paid peanuts but there not monkies!!!

Well said Princesspeahead........lound clapping and cheering heard around the world wide web!!

Tinker
If you paid your childminder more than you actually earned, why were you working - did you think a childminder could do a better job of looking after your children than you? Or was your career more important. Not trying to cause offence or start an argument, just curious. I personally now only work part time and this has done my career immeseurable harm in the short term, but this is a sacrifice I am prepared to make for the sake of my child at this time.

Well written Sonnet et al

My childminder looked after more than one child, as many do. I don't have a 'career', but I do have a mortgage to pay and a child to feed - on my own. And yes, a childminder, combined with me, probably does a better job of looking after my child than me doing it all the time.

Sonnet - what about nurses then? I work in the NHS. I know that newly qualified nurses who work standard 2 week shifts earn circa £26k. Difficult work? Yes. Monkey pay? Hardly. Childcare workers are paid around £6 per hour, and only people paid considerably more can afford paid childcare. You may not get monkeys to look after your kids - lucky you - but that is all you pay for.

My starting point has always been the well being of my son, rather than what suits me. Then once I had that worked out, I tried to fit it in with work/fit work in with that. The priorities as I saw them were...

I felt that my child had a number of needs...

1. To spend time on his own with me, for the sake of our relationship, and to give him the confidence and security that a strong attachment with a parent can bring.
2. Ditto with my wife
3. Spending time with us together so he had a strong sense of being part of a family
4. Being away from his parents to develop independence and social skills in a group setting
5. Spending time in the country - we live in a city.

I manage to organise him having all of these experiences on a weekly basis as part of his care. I've tried to think about it from a childs perspective - what is going to equip him well and serve his early years develolpment best. I'm not into the idea of him spending all his time with a SAH parent - either me or my wife - and I'm not into him spending all his time with a childcare.

But these are personal choices, and I realise I am very, very fortunate with the flexibility I have in work. Some people have an incredibly difficult time meeting their children's material and emotional needs and I am aware that what we do is not feasible for everyone.

BUT I'M STILL STUCK ON WHAT TO DO IN SCHOOL HOLIDAYS!!!LOL!!

Serephina, do you really believe your own argument? I'm genuinely curious. If so, what do you suggest single parents do to support themselves and their families? And on what basis do you assume that all families can manage on one salary? As Tom points out, if one salary pays for housing and the other for food there isn't much that could be sacrificed. What would your constructive suggestion be in this situation for example?

Seraphina - try being a nurse in London coz someones got to do it..oh, and bring up a child on your own..
Why are you contributing to this thread - it dosn't concern you and you have no constructive advice to offer - are you just board and trying to stir up bad feeling? - well done you have suceeded.
Tom started this off with a real dilema, one shared by a lot of us, ideas have been pooled and it has been helpful to me, and to Tom et al I would imagine.

I am an NHS payroll clerk and as much as I disagree with Seraphina on her other point of view I do agree on nurses salaries. They receive a very good wage for doing a difficult job.

Tom, could I clone you? I'm really envious of your wife having a husband who is such a devoted and logical dad. And I would send your other self back in the school hols!!