If I said I was going to call you after five because I was in meetings until five

[Dollysleftnip]

Would you be sat waiting by your phone at 5 o’clock for my call?
I’m trying to decide who’s being unreasonable, but I’m not prepared to run the Gaunlet of Am I being unreasonable?

The way you worded it in your OP, I'd expect a call just after 5. Would probably wait until 5:20/5:30 and then either just message you or get on with other things and hope i see/hear my phone when it rings. I wouldn't sit by my phone for an hour twiddling my thumbs. What you should have done is message at 5 when your meeting had finished and given more accurate time. It's not that hard really.

It is all about communicating clearly with people. After 5 is way to vague for a work call where I work. How long are you expecting people to keep available for your call? An hour late would be considered an absolute joke where I work, but maybe desk jobs are different.

Why didn’t you just say I’ll call you at six, and avoid all the grief?

I had not anticipated any grief on the basis that he said he could take a call after 12 …. Which was after five my time.

From your initial post, I presume you would call from 5.15-5.30ish, straight after your previous meeting.

I think he would’ve been equally perturbed at 5:15
all he heard or read was 5 o’clock

I still don’t understand. Why did you even mention 5 o’clock when you intended to call at 6?

You having meetings until 5 was irrelevant and just caused confusion.

“After 5” I’d expect by 5.30. 6pm would annoy me as I’d have been waiting and not starting anything too heavy as I knew you were calling. But I’m not sure why you’ve posted as you’re so certain you’re right. Your communication was poor and vague so therefore, irritating and open to interpretation.

This.

I wanted to see what other people’s thoughts were and some agreed with me so can’t have been that confusing
appreciate that I was vague but so was here so here we are

I think you were rude you said your meeting was finishing at 5 as in you were free at 5
I would of expected a call 5.15
sorry your attitude stinks no way would I off left anyone waiting for an hour
the fact you mention he’s a man is unnecessary the only person swinging there dick here is you “ he need me more than I need him and they can fuck right off “ is a poor way to refer to any colleague

Unfortunately, I have to agree with you @Manchegomango about
@Dollysleftnip, as the more she posts, the less pleasant she sounds. I think that it is actually quite ironic that in her OP Dolly said:
"I'm trying to decide who's being unreasonable, but I'm not prepared to run the Gaunlet (gauntlet) of Am I being unreasonable?"
when she has turned out to be exactly the sort of person who answers perfectly reasonable OPs in AIBU, with a very unreasonable response to whatever the
thread opener has said!

I had this exact scenario happen last week. Message said he’s in a meeting until 4.30 so he’ll call me after his meeting. I assumed it would be around 4.45-5ish but he surprised me by calling at 4.35!

He isn’t a colleague hope that helps

If someone said they would call me after 5, I’d expect a call shortly after 5. whether that’s a teams call or phone call depends on how you usually communicate.

if someone said I’m in meetings till 5, with no other information, I might assume they were online meetings.

if someone said I’m out of the office in meetings till 5, will call as soon as available at home, likely 6, then I would expect a call around 6.

Your comms were poor here. He clearly believed you would call him shortly after 5, as did most people on this thread.

its not sexism, misogyny or childhood trauma (WTF?) on his part. Own it and move on.

Whereas based on his communication I believe believed that any time after 12 would be fine. And as it was him that wanted the meeting all of it could’ve been avoided by sending through a meeting request which I would’ve declined because I knew I wouldn’t be in front of my computer.
So many lessons on both parts

sorry I presumed it was work related
but that doesn’t change anything
if there a friend ,acquaintance or partner it makes it worse

It really doesn’t
but a guy and it’s another assumption, which is the undoing of all of us

which is far too broad a window., and you weren’t unavailable. You narrowed the window down to ‘after 5’ when you meant ‘likely 6’

your comms were poor.

Yes, as in the first place I should’ve taken control of the scenario
But he wasn’t allowing that
Hence my comments about him swinging his dick around with

What has he actually said about the whole situation? Or are you just creating problems that don’t exist?

From your wording, yes i would expect you to call me when your meetings finished. If you needed time to get home etc then i would have thought you’d have said that.

Particularly with it being 5pm and the end of the day, I’d have expected a call by ten past.

With the context I’d have inferred that you were calling straight after your meeting.

Not everything is a feminist issue.
Sometimes we as women can make mistakes and have poor comms.
Which you did. Own it and move on.

If it was 12 his time he was probably watching the clock creep around to 1pm and thinking "there goes my lunch break"