If I said I was going to call you after five because I was in meetings until five

[Dollysleftnip]

Would you be sat waiting by your phone at 5 o’clock for my call?
I’m trying to decide who’s being unreasonable, but I’m not prepared to run the Gaunlet of Am I being unreasonable?

I'd give it till 5:15 and then write it off - I'd probably send a Teams message with whatever it wasI'd been hoping to discuss and ask you to call me the next day. I wouldn't be hanging round waiting for an hour. If it was very urgent I'd check after six if you'd replied to my Teams message; if you hadn't I would leave it till the morning.

Not really. Colleague or not is the least important part.

If you give only one piece of information, you are implying that information is relevant.
So, referencing your meeting until after five suggests calling him will be the very next thing.

You could say I'll call you when l'll get home around 6.

It's just weird to give someone a time when you don't plan to call them.

Yes, some people agree with you about the 5-6, however we are talking timezones here. Subjectively, there is a different leeway in my afternoon/evening (in my free time) vs my morning/lunch break (my I need to squeeze everything here time).

if you told me i'd be in meetings until five, i would expect a call by 5h15 at the latest. i am not going to be waiting around beause your time is more important than mine, and if you called and i saw you had a cup of tea that would make me even more pissed off

Exactly the same as my DF, I get bombarded with calls and messages if I don’t call at x time so now I give him a time a lot later so he doesn’t hassle me.

In a work context, I always follow up arrangements to speak with a calendar invite, even if the call/meeting is only a few hours later. I have calls across timezones all the time, and it's one of the reasons I do this -- lands in their calendar at the right time, everyone clear (and has time to shout if that's not right). In this case, I would be expecting to have a call with you at 5pm or at the very latest 5:15; I would have sent a message at 5:15 to say "hope you are OK; I hung on for your call but something must have happened. Let me know when it's convenient to reschedule." I also don't "just do calls" but then I charge for my time and don't interrupt work for one client by taking a call for another.

Well, precisely, and as I said, I would’ve put the onus on him on the basis that he wanted the meeting, but never mind

Yes I’d be available 5 to 5:30 as the meeting might over-run or they need a quick break before calling.

Interesting that you've taken from this thread that some people agreed with you, so what you said was not confusing.

People on this thread have taken multiple interpretations which shows that what you said was not clear i.e. it was confusing.

You can't claim that your communication is clear based on one or two people understanding what you said but lots not. It has to be clear to everyone (or at least the person receiving the communication).

Your comments to people on here are pretty rude. People are answering your question and you're being so snarky.

FWIW I'd be expecting you to call by half 5.

They aren’t answering the questions though are they? They’re being bitchy so that’s the response that they’re receiving.

Bitchy? Nice!

Rude is nicer ?

I’m not sure why you think he being a man has anything to do with it. I presume the majority of people on this thread are women, and we’ve all said the same thing. Saying you’d call after your meeting that finished at five, then people would presume you’d call within a reasonable time after that, ie fifteen minutes, allowing for the meeting to run over and/or you to get organised for the new call.

I never leave the onus on other people because that leave people unsatisfied if it goes wrong and diary management is a big part of what I do. I think this is a "learn from this and move on" situation.

Just don’t really get this level of miscommunication with other women
Or if we do, it’s easily resolved and we all just move on
The way I see it to summarise and this will be my last post because I need to get on with the day
He wanted the meeting. He should’ve booked it in my diary to ensure that I was available.
At which point I would’ve declined it because I would not have been available and in front of my screen
And then none of this would’ve happened
But having got to this point where he was vague and then I responded vaguely
It should’ve been rebooked and the world would not have ended
Not that the world has ended
But he is being a bit shitty about it so we will not work together

I'd have probably said, "I've got meetings all afternoon- will you be available at 18:00 (1pm your time)? Otherwise we could do tomorrow. "

My experience is many east coast Americans get confused by the 24h clock and the fact that not everyone is in the same timezone, even when they've spent decades working with people in Europe and/or the west coast of America... (Not all are like this, to be fair, and I have also had American colleagues pointing out that the time they're choosing is unfair on those of us in Europe.)

But I woukd prefer to confirm a time when I know we should both be available, or deal with it by email.

@Dollysleftnip

I read most of your posts and I don't see any description of what your client/vendor/agent or whatever this person is to you has actually done wrong? What did he say or do to wind you up? All I can piece together is that he was expecting a call at 5ish and didn't get one. Did he give up/go to lunch and miss your call at 5:58 and then what; text to rearrange but due to TD it would be inconvenient for you? Was he rude or sarcastic?

Sounds like a storm in a tea cup, but you have not communicated enough information (again 😉)

Yeah, the way you worded it definitely sounded like after your meeting was over, you'd be free for a call (which would suggest you were either in an online meeting, or you were at work but you intended to call the person whilst you were still at work). If you needed to drive home from work after your meeting, then I wouldn't have mentioned what time the meeting ended at all, that's totally irrelevant to the person. I'd tell them what time you expect to be home from work. No one who doesn't live with you can be expected to guess how long it takes you to wrap up at work, walk to your car, drive home etc.

If it was a work thing and you said you’d call after your meetings til 5pm, I would then expect you to finish your meetings, have a quick wee / make a drink and then call. If it was an hour later, in a work setting, it would annoy me as I’d be expecting you to call just after 5pm UK time.

I wouldn’t be sat waiting beside the phone but I would expect you to call by about 5.30. Whether I would be annoyed or not if you had not called by then would depend on the nature of the phone call.

Maybe would be best to send a brief email with the details for discussion and then reschedule to another day. Any after 5pm calls wouldn’t work for me for example, I’d already have finished work and be settled in at home.

If it was a personal call I would probably not bother as the recipient as someone initially saying they have meetings till five would mean they’re going to be focused on their workday and stressed. I would just write a text saying not to worry to call me back we will catch up another time.

You sound like a nightmare to work with OP and very entitled. The vast majority of people on here have told you you’re in the wrong but you refuse to even slightly acknowledge that.

But if you would have declined a meeting at 5, why did you imply you’d be free by saying that’s when your meetings finish?

I’m not surprised he’s being ‘shitty’ about it.

How ironic that it’s your miscommunication that’s the issue here.

Not really