Solidarity and accountability? For in-Work stress

[Bigblueballoons]

Hi - wondering if I could start a solidarity and accountability thread for those of us in stressful jobs/ mild burnout, but trying to cope and stay sane.

I am the sole earner in my family. Middle management in the public sector. It is soul crushing but I don’t have many options. I am trying to make small changes that mean the job is sustainable.

this week I have taken some positive steps:
-spoke to the gp about anti anxiety meds (I realise this is a short term measure but I need something for the panic attacks)
-started looking for new jobs every day on linked in (even though that feels terrifying)

Things I need to improve

• make sure I get out of the house on wfh days
• share the burden with colleagues (this is almost impossible as many of my peers are on sick leave due to stress!)
• eat more healthily and try to sleep more too (better sleep hygiene?)

anyone else want to check in and support each other in small steps to cope?

I’m here as well sadly. Took a sideways move to a job I thought I’d love but there’s just too much to do. The amount of responsibility is ridiculous. I’m spinning plates but one by one they are falling. It doesn’t help that the 2 people who were previously in the role (it’s gone from 2 people doing the role to just me) haven’t given me a single handover note. I know I’m excellent at my job but it’s just too much.

I have shared with colleagues this week and am going to email the head of department tomorrow. I Have some time off booked next week and I’m determined not to cancel.

I like your small steps OP. I’m not very good at supporting though, never know what to say

I’m sorry to hear you’re in a similar position - how long have you had the job?

I also had no handover! Over 2 years in and I am still discovering things I didn’t know, feeling like an idiot.

well done for making colleagues aware. It’s clearly an impossible situation and you can’t take responsibility for it all.

i did have leave booked for next week but won’t be able to take it now. Teen dc doesn’t want to hang out with me anyway (half term) so maybe I can take a day or two during the term and cry cry cry do something productive

Terrible day today as I broke down in front of a colleague.

i am going to try to go to get early and get some sleep.

I am completely stressed out by my job.
I took a promotion and have learned I’m just completely the wrong temperament for it. (No way to step back down).

I haven’t had a manager (the CEO) for months, as they left. The interim person knows little about my area and is completely snowed in any case - sees me just once a month. I shouldn’t be the most senior in the organisation at what I do (it’s regulatory) but I am and I feel so exposed.

there’s one crisis after another and my nervous system is fried.

I took a step last week of actually applying for another job rather than just vaguely thinking about it. - took ages to massage my CV to fit it and write the statement.

financially I can’t leave my current job without another to go to.

My job is very stressful and full on, I do like it though, been there 9 months. But that thing is slowly happening where you do lots of work so they give you more. The team I inherited is made up of 6 people who are very capable but also just aren’t suited to the work (very fast paced, requires a lot of resilience, not for the fainted hearted or anyone who wants to follow set processes with a set workload). That gives me more work because I’m constantly having to pick up the slack - message from above is basically suck it up buttercup.

Promises I made to myself this year:

lunchtime walk every day, I have a lunchtime walking buddy at work and we hold each other to account on this, it’s worked well aside from the grim weather getting in the way!

Eating properly during the working day - I wfh most of the time so I take time at the weekend to fill the fridge/freezer with healthy easy to grab/heat portioned meals.

prioritise stringently and not worry about what gets missed or dropped. I log off by 5:30 every day and no later. If the work can’t be done in my contracted hours that’s their problem, not mine.

@largeprintagathachristie i feel your pain - my line manager is on long term sick leave and it is completely unsustainable. I’m meant to hold a lot of responsibility without any kind of support at all.

well done for applying for a new job! When do you hear back?

@shuffleofftobuffalo im going to try that too - finishing work on time and getting outside for a walk. Sometimes on wfh days I don’t even have time to get dressed. It’s miserable and so grim.

today it is quite sunny here so I’m going to make the most of it and do some gentle birdwatching. Last week I did manage to get out to feed the ducks in the park on one day - there might be some ducklings soon!

This is an interesting article with some information about burnout. I am going to try the ‘micro breaks’ idea while I dream of handing in my notice and screaming for the hills!

www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2026/feb/15/75-of-people-suffer-from-burnout-what-you-need-to-know

Thinking about leaving my current role as the culture has turned very toxic in the last 10 months and I can't see it turning around anytime soon. I can afford some time out but I'm 61 and fearful about finding another role.

Could you get signed off and look for jobs?

Potentially but there are massive changes on the horizon that I'm not sure I've got the energy to cope with. I suspect my role will be restructured out in 6 months. Am on my 4th line manager in 18 months since starting. More tempted to resign and go temp to perm.

I am standing in the kitchen shaking. I have spent all weekend dreading work and here we are again. I can’t believe I have to go in again.

dh says I should just quit for my mental health but what would we do for money? If I get signed off for stress
it will just be worse as the workload will be there when I get back.

My line manager is back at work but has recently had two close bereavements and I don’t feel comfortable telling her about my stresses. I don’t know what to do.

@Bigblueballoons if you had a look on indeed and LinkedIn right now, are there jobs to apply to in your industry?

@PinkPomeloFruit no. It’s a niche public sector specialism. I could probably transfer into general public sector management but that would need confidence and energy, of which i have none!

I’ve been looking, but everything involves a pay cut. We are already living paycheck to paycheck.

Op this sounds so hard. Deep breath.You absolutely tell your line manager - that is their literal job. Their absence, other people off work - it is not YOUR problem it is your manager’s. By not telling your manager and instead thinking about leaving - you are making it worse because not giving your manager an opportunity to tackle the problem. Whether the manager has bereavements or a divorce or has recently had a heart attack - if they are back at work they are required to manage . So you book a meeting and you give a very factual list of the ways the job is overwhelming you. It is completely okay to tell your manager that in your manager’s absence you have found it very hard to cope and you think you are at breaking point. You can describe the physical symptoms of stress briefly so your manager realises how serious the situation it is - it is making you feel unwell.

FWiW I came into work at 7.30 to a bunch of shouty emails about deadlines and heart is racing, feel sick, not sleeping well. I would almost prefer to be sacked and not be able to find work. We could afford it, I feel like I’m on the brink of being rumbled as a disaster all the time. I took this job - no handover, left a pile of badly done work going back YEARS that I’m left sorting out on top of my day job. It’s hell.

I think you should get signed off for a month and have a proper break.

Waves hello. I got myself signed off for 10 days and got my CV- and nervous system -in shape. Applying elsewhere gives me options.

@PinkPomeloFruit and @CanIRetirePlease thank you. I have emailed my line manager and asked for a meeting. I do need to do something. I already have a doctor’s appointment booked for later in the week to talk about stress so let’s see.

@CanIRetirePlease do you document the extra workload? Does anyone else know about it?

Oh wow - that’s great! Have you got some potential new jobs lined up?

We‘ll see :-) . Some I applied for wouldn’t be quite right for me, but it was good practice and got me out of the ‘I’m unemployable’ mindset.

There are 2 I really wouldn’t mind getting.

It’s been empowering, and has taken some of the stress out of work by showing me I have options.

i basically wrote everything I had ever done into a monster CV, then uploaded that and the job advert to ChatGPT. Each application needs a lot of fine tuning, but it does cut the time down a bit.

OP, firstly feeling the symptoms of stress is not a failing of your own. That’s your body responding to the work situation and that’s not on you, it’s on your organisation.

It’s no different to say, a poorly stacked set of heavy boxes falling on your head, falling down stairs that have a broken handrail, or chemicals escaping and poisoning you. This is a health and safety issue and your company has a duty of care towards you which it is failing to meet at present. That said, you must speak to your manager so it’s on the record that your workload and unreasonable expectations are affecting your health. You can outline the actions you’ve taken for yourself but tell them that your next step is to see your GP. And make GP appointment. I have no doubt you will be signed off work for at least 3 weeks. And I reiterate this is not a professional failing on your part. If you had fallen down those stairs with the dodgy handrail then you’d be off work with your broken legs.

There should be H&S policies about stress and you should be able to get OH support, and have a stress risk assessment completed. Look these up on your intranet. If you are in a union you should also speak to your rep. If your organisation doesn’t handle this correctly then they could be in breach of laws that are there to protect the employee. If you had to resign due to your physical symptoms of stress then you could have a case against them.

Please make it a priority to discuss this with your manager.

Do you have access to EAP (employee assistance programs )? I used mine recently for stress and it really helped- it’s confidential and I was able to book a same day appointment via an app. I found it beneficial to talk through the causes of work stress with an impartial third party. I was worried my friends/husband were telling me what I wanted to hear.

I was promoted mid-last year, the role on paper suits my skill set but the reality is not suited to me personality wise, and it is wearing too many hats. My manager is not supportive, barely speaks to me to coach or develop any kind of rapport beyond discussing immediate tasks, however the job isn’t something that can be learnt and relies on happening to know relevant company/industry-specific knowledge for whatever work comes up. It is very transactional and isolating. Alongside this I have had to deal with some life changing events with my elderly parents, I probably should have taken some time off to process it and sort things out but kept working- obviously I wasn’t on top form but I still got my work delivered and made the boss aware (with the bare bones of details) however this was used against me in my last appraisal. As a result I feel stuck in place for now, and it doesn’t make sense to move externally either.

I’ve turned a corner these last few weeks, however may still need to take time off as I know I’m burning out from the stress he has caused me (and I’m not the only one). However I need to figure out how to do this without causing me further problems.

Better sleep does help a lot, consistent times for bed and getting up, ideally same seven days a week.

I’m in civil service. Beyond burned out and am trying to go for new roles, side steps, progression, anything, and am continuously blocked. Mentioned how depressed I am to my line manager who is not a people person whatsoever and, after a few hours, a love heart emoji. I think it’s wellbeing month, so there are some sessions on how to look after your mental health with all the obvious stuff. Can’t actually go though, too busy.