Help I resigned… then found out I’m pregnant. What now?

MidlifePlotTwist · 2025-11-30T10:40:10+00:00

Sorry for the long post but I’d really appreciate some outside perspective because my head is scrambled. I’m in a senior leadership role in a large company. The job is high pressure due to ongoing multiple changes and has been taking a toll for a while, so a few weeks ago I resigned. I gave a 3 month notice period and planned to move abroad and set up my own small consultancy once I left. My chief was upset when I resigned and immediately tried to walk it back, offering different options to keep me. At the time I was going on annual leave for two weeks (back tomorrow) and so I said I would reflect over that period but I genuinely felt done with corporate life and so I didn’t see me changing my mind. Fast forward to this week and I’ve just found out I’m pregnant with my third (7 weeks). It was not planned, I’m 40, and I’m the only earner (hubby a stay at home dad). My last working day is supposed to be March, baby due July. We’re fortunate to have a financial safety net behind us so we could cope with no income for a while but our savings would take a significant dent. Now I’m torn. On one hand, part of me thinks I should tell my chief now about my pregnancy so I can extend my resignation end date slightly to end of June, keep things stable, have a few more months of income (and bonus) and then step away before the baby comes. It gives them a longer runway to recruit my replacement and have a decent handover. On the other, it feels messy to reveal a pregnancy after resigning, and I don’t want to look like I’m trying to reverse anything or use it for leverage. I also don’t want to burn bridges because I may still consult for them. Other option is that I walk back my resignation, don’t tell them I’m pregnant, announce it later and then take paid maternity leave. Legally I know I can do this, but it doesn’t sit comfortably with me and I want to be super transparent with them. Has anyone navigated something similar? Would you tell your employer now? Does extending a notice period sound reasonable in this situation? Any advice or reality checks welcome. I feel like every option has trade-offs and I don’t want to make the wrong call.

Linenpickle · 30/11/2025 10:53

All reasonable. I think at 40 you could get away with not realising you’re pregnant ….

loopylou459 · 30/11/2025 10:58

If I were you I would walk back the resignation and not tell them about the pregnancy just yet. You are only 7 weeks - many people wouldn't even know they were pregnant at this stage and even if they did they wouldn't announce it to their employer until at least 12 weeks (is that the checking in appointment and first scan time - I can't remember). Then, around 12 weeks I would tell them. They will have you down as a flight risk now anyway so are probably not banking on you staying forever.

Alternatively, if you feel too uncomfortable doing that, you could seek to walk back the resignation and tell them about the pregnancy straight away. If they suddenly changed their minds about keeping you on, then you would have a pretty good crack at a direct pregnancy discrimination claim. But I doubt you'd really want to go down the mat route.

PedantsOfDestiny · 30/11/2025 10:59

Could you in the short term do #2 (say you're withdrawing your resignation to have more time to think) then do the longer resignation plan in #1?

You're perfectly entitled to keep quiet and go on mat leave too, if that's what you'd actually prefer. I've worked closely with someone who didn't let on about a pregnancy when we were juggling other rejigs/mat leaves in the team and I didn't think badly of her - you have to do what works for you.

gettingbacktobeingmeagain · 30/11/2025 10:59

Congratulations!

I would...go with an in-between option; I'd explain that you are pregnant and would like to extend your resignation date...and then if the conversation is going well you can say "well this has thrown a very lovely spanner in my resignation plans"...and see what transpires from there...

ToKittyornottoKitty · 30/11/2025 11:00

Why extend notice period until June? Withdraw your resignation and stay, you will go on maternity leave anyway. If you decide to resign when it’s time to come back from maternity they aren’t going to hold it against you

Firefumes · 30/11/2025 11:03

They are not going to want you if they know you’re pregnant unfortunately that is a huge change of circumstances.

You’re due to leave anyway so that’s an easy out for them, they can just go ahead with your current leaving date.

By resigning, you severed the employment relationship in that they know you’re not loyal and are willing to jump ship so they need to succession plan regardless. Knowing you are pregnant and therefore would be leaving for maternity leave is a lose-lose situation for them as they’d have to pay extra for your maternity leave (as opposed your resignation), plus pay to hire and train your replacement.

BlondeWanderer · 30/11/2025 11:05

Definitely walk back your resignation. I wouldn’t tell them you’re pregnant now. Even once you have to let them know, you can say that you’re coming back after mat leave. That gives you at least 19-20 months to decide what you want to do. A lot can change in that time - you may not want to move, have a new boss, get a big promotion, something happen at home.

There’s no loyalty in corporate life. And there’s no certainty in your personal life. Do what’s best to keep you and your family financially safe.

Firefumes · 30/11/2025 11:06

loopylou459 · 30/11/2025 10:58

If I were you I would walk back the resignation and not tell them about the pregnancy just yet. You are only 7 weeks - many people wouldn't even know they were pregnant at this stage and even if they did they wouldn't announce it to their employer until at least 12 weeks (is that the checking in appointment and first scan time - I can't remember). Then, around 12 weeks I would tell them. They will have you down as a flight risk now anyway so are probably not banking on you staying forever.

Alternatively, if you feel too uncomfortable doing that, you could seek to walk back the resignation and tell them about the pregnancy straight away. If they suddenly changed their minds about keeping you on, then you would have a pretty good crack at a direct pregnancy discrimination claim. But I doubt you'd really want to go down the mat route.

There’s zero discrimination here. OP was the one who resigned! The resignation has been accepted. They’re protected against any discrimination claims. You have no legal entitlement for an employer to change their mind about accepting your resignation.

Firefumes · 30/11/2025 11:07

BlondeWanderer · 30/11/2025 11:05

Definitely walk back your resignation. I wouldn’t tell them you’re pregnant now. Even once you have to let them know, you can say that you’re coming back after mat leave. That gives you at least 19-20 months to decide what you want to do. A lot can change in that time - you may not want to move, have a new boss, get a big promotion, something happen at home.

There’s no loyalty in corporate life. And there’s no certainty in your personal life. Do what’s best to keep you and your family financially safe.

Do you have a career? Cause there’s zero chance an employer would want to give a senior employee 19-20 months to decide if they want to leave them or not. That’s a fantasy.

Anotherdayattheforum · 30/11/2025 11:07

If you mislead your employee to benefit yourself, even if it’s legal, that is a huge breach of trust and you might find yourself being eased out.

RendeersDancingTowardsChristmas · 30/11/2025 11:08

Other option is that I walk back my resignation, don’t tell them I’m pregnant, announce it later and then take paid maternity leave

This, 100%! You have 2 other children to think about.
Plus I don't think the moving abroad and setting up a consultancy is an option in the near future due to baby.

Keep the job & take maternity leave, this will buy you time and gives you the money needed to make the right decisions for a family of 5.

TheNameisNOTZiggy · 30/11/2025 11:09

Congratulations!
I have been in your shoes.

dont do what I did. Which is carry through with the resignation. Money was tight and I only had 2 kids and DH was working . But I didn’t get maternity pay.

What I would do is say there has been a change in circumstances and so you will not be moving abroad as originally envisaged. So you would like to retract your resignation please.

If you are close to the Chief then yes tell them about pregnancy now and confirm this is the change in circumstances and you don’t want to make any big decisions until after your maternity leave .

If you are not close, wait until after 12w scan.

Best of luck

WaneyEdge · 30/11/2025 11:13

Can you ‘walk back’ your resignation? Genuine question, I haven’t a clue. Presumably you can ask but they don’t have to allow it?

TheNameisNOTZiggy · 30/11/2025 11:14

RendeersDancingTowardsChristmas · 30/11/2025 11:08

Other option is that I walk back my resignation, don’t tell them I’m pregnant, announce it later and then take paid maternity leave

This, 100%! You have 2 other children to think about.
Plus I don't think the moving abroad and setting up a consultancy is an option in the near future due to baby.

Keep the job & take maternity leave, this will buy you time and gives you the money needed to make the right decisions for a family of 5.

Yes. This.

TheNameisNOTZiggy · 30/11/2025 11:16

Anotherdayattheforum · 30/11/2025 11:07

If you mislead your employee to benefit yourself, even if it’s legal, that is a huge breach of trust and you might find yourself being eased out.

But then she could have a claim to discrimination so they would pay her £100k to not have that discussion and to keep her quiet.

£100k would go a long way to setting her up for success consulting from overseas, even if it slammed the door on consulting for her ex employer.

Nsky62 · 30/11/2025 11:16

loopylou459 · 30/11/2025 10:58

If I were you I would walk back the resignation and not tell them about the pregnancy just yet. You are only 7 weeks - many people wouldn't even know they were pregnant at this stage and even if they did they wouldn't announce it to their employer until at least 12 weeks (is that the checking in appointment and first scan time - I can't remember). Then, around 12 weeks I would tell them. They will have you down as a flight risk now anyway so are probably not banking on you staying forever.

Alternatively, if you feel too uncomfortable doing that, you could seek to walk back the resignation and tell them about the pregnancy straight away. If they suddenly changed their minds about keeping you on, then you would have a pretty good crack at a direct pregnancy discrimination claim. But I doubt you'd really want to go down the mat route.

Agree, you may miscarry, not that I would wish it on you, a possible

Eyesopenwideawake · 30/11/2025 11:23

What changes has/can your chief put in place to mitigate the high pressure, the original reasons for your decision to resign? If nothing has been done how will you deal with that + the pregnancy?

BlondeWanderer · 30/11/2025 11:24

Firefumes · 30/11/2025 11:07

Do you have a career? Cause there’s zero chance an employer would want to give a senior employee 19-20 months to decide if they want to leave them or not. That’s a fantasy.

Show quote history

Yes, I do.

OP is 7 weeks pregnant. She has another 7 months to go before her baby is due. After that she can take 12 months maternity leave, and annual leave, and unpaid family leave.

That gives her a long runway to decide that she wants to do.

In the large corporates I’ve worked in, you’re not allowed to ask women their plans for maternity leave. That’s why I believe OP has 19-20 months to make up her mind to stay or still resign.

BerryTwister · 30/11/2025 11:40

Don’t people have to pay back some of their maternity pay if they resign while on maternity leave and never come back?

Obeseandashamed · 30/11/2025 11:41

ToKittyornottoKitty · 30/11/2025 11:00

Why extend notice period until June? Withdraw your resignation and stay, you will go on maternity leave anyway. If you decide to resign when it’s time to come back from maternity they aren’t going to hold it against you

This!

Snowcat5 · 30/11/2025 11:42

Your 490 ,so the pregnancy may not take ..plenty end in miscarriage as we get older ...
So no need to tell anyone yet
You need to keep your job ,don't give it up
Then announce pregnancy when you start to show and no risk of miscarriage.
Don't cut your nose of to spite your face with your job
No one announces pregnancy at 7 weeks ..why would you ..wait and see .
But definitely get out of the resignation

Original poster

MidlifePlotTwist · 30/11/2025 11:42

WaneyEdge · 30/11/2025 11:13

Can you ‘walk back’ your resignation? Genuine question, I haven’t a clue. Presumably you can ask but they don’t have to allow it?

No legal obligation to accept walking back a resignation. But given Chief has said he doesn’t want me to quit - he sees me as the strongest member of the leadership team and wants me for the long haul - then he will definitely accept me saying I’ll stay.

He did already offer me family leave as he knows I’ve got some other health stuff going on (not related to this pregnancy) and he said he’d rather me take some time out than quit.

But my pregnancy has completely thrown a spanner in the works.

OP posts:

AgnesMcDoo · 30/11/2025 11:43

You don’t have to tell until 25 weeks so walk back the resignation and crack on.

Dozer · 30/11/2025 11:44

I would walk back the resignation, not reveal your pregnancy for a good while yet, and take the mat leave.

Snowcat5 · 30/11/2025 11:44

Sorry don't know where 490 came from ...was trying to put 40