A friend quit her job to take a break and now I can’t stop thinking about it

[GlowWithBalance]

A close friend of mine recently left her job after nearly ten years. There was no big drama or crisis; she simply said she was tired of feeling stuck and needed time to breathe. She plans to spend a few months at home, focus on her family, and figure out what she really wants next.
At first I thought it was a risky move, but now I can’t help feeling a bit jealous. She already seems calmer and more present, while I’m still running on autopilot from one responsibility to the next.
It made me wonder how many of us stay in the grind just because we’re afraid to pause. Has anyone here ever taken time off work for themselves and actually found it helped? Or did it end up being harder than expected to step away?

That sounds like it has been a huge few years for you. It is really good that you found something that felt right after everything you went through. Being that ill would definitely make you look at things differently. It is nice that you have had that time with your son and that it feels like the right choice for you. It is reassuring to hear from someone who stepped back and did not regret it.

The way things are now, most of us feel like we have to keep working nonstop because everything is so expensive and there is always that worry about how long it would take to get hired again. It is really hard to even think about stepping away, even if you want a break. Sometimes it feels like the world is set up so you just keep going whether you are burnt out or not.

That's terrible！The way things are now, most people keep working because they have to, not because they’re scared of slowing down. Taking time off only feels relaxing if you have a financial cushion, and most of us just don’t.

People have always worked because they have to though! Did people kick off because they loved working down the mines and were being deprived of lung cancer or because they needed to work? How about sticking their 8 year olds up chimneys?
I like my job but if I could just lounge around and be handed money the heck would I do it. I might pass the time doing some charity work. I like the things my job pays for- not just a roof over my kids had and food but eating out etc. If I could have that without working, I would!

I am with you on this. When I win the lottery, I will be immediately handing my notice in at work. There is no way I'd still go into the office if I had the funds to not work. There are so many interesting things I could do with money AND time!

Working doesn't travelling though, I see the world too with my partner and we don't have to worry about running out of money to do it or asking someone else to pay for it.

The jobs market in the last couple of years has been exceedingly tough, especially for anyone 50+ now. People can't assume anymore that they'll walk in to a suitable job whenever they take a time out.

My friend has announced that she is retired at 54, due to a large inheritance. She’s single. I’m two years younger. At first I couldn’t understand how someone could not work, not even part time (she previously worked part time), as I’ve worked non stop since I was 13. Now, each time I see her I’m envious that she doesn’t need to work. I’d love not to work but I love having a roof over my head more!

Sorry not read the whole thread but I cut my hours to 4 days a week. My salary didn't drop by the full 20% because of the reduced tax needing paid so was pleasantly surprised. I loved it because I could get so many things done on that day off that would of been left to the weekend / started studying and generally just enjoyed the split week. So much so, that it opened my eyes to the fact that you don't need to be tied to a 9 - 5 job and ultimately left and now work for myself. The best thing I did.

A couple of colleagues saw the difference in me and the smaller difference in my take home pay and quickly followed suit. Another cut a day off work but to reduce the pay difference on the 4 days they were in reduced their lunch hour from 1 hour to 30 minutes on those 4 days.I really do believe you focus more to get the work done (to the employer's benefit / yours too) - mostly!

Genuinely curious - do you think lottery winners should stick with their jobs? @CluelessAboutBiology
I swear the general consensus in real life and on other forums is "if I didn't have to work I wouldn't" but on mumsnet it's "I wouldn't give up work for all the tea in China". I just find the difference in attitudes astounding.

I'm not sure this is necessarily apropos but I worked with a woman once in a sought after role and she inherited a lottery-type amount. She worked for a bit then actually quit her job because she said she felt guilty to continue working when she no longer had the need. She freed up a job for a graduate by quitting.

I quite liked that, it was certainly an unusual approach!

@GetOverTheEgo that's interesting. Maybe she had to do some serious mental gymnastics to get over the guilt of not working which is ingrained into everyone from peer pressure. Giving a graduate a job is how she squared it in her mind.

I know I'd be like lol see ya! 💵 For most of my decent employers I'd work my months notice. For my awful bosses I had in retail and hospitality, they wouldn't see me for dust.

Yes I do think she did go through a process like that @AzureCats . I thought something along those lines at the time. But was also very envious!

She's been the on the receiving end of a great deal of scorn though in some quarters. I just tell her she does not have to justify herself to anyone.

I know someone with a similar scenario, OP. They are single and later in their work career so don’t have family to focus on nor any caring arrangements of elderly parents. They said they watch tv. I don’t envy it.

I have a friend who says she would still do the research side of her role (academic) if they weren't paying her, so she might as well take the money while it's offered. But I think she is unusual in enjoying what she does so much.

I enjoy my job a lot of the time, but if I didn't need the money, there are other things I'd rather do more.

I too have a friend who retired at 54, with an inheritance. She does lots of voluntary stuff and exercise classes, so she's fitter and doing things she enjoys and that gives back to the community. Brilliant if you can afford it.

I think similar to some posters here. I'm not afraid to pause at all. Rather i can't afford to be off sick long term. My company i'm entitled to 2 weeks full sick pay but afer that it's statuatory and I simply cannot afford it. I'd be more stressed about who is going to pay the bills. Same goes for resigning.

When I was 22 I quit a great job as a catering manager in a Wedding venue. I had just married and was on auto pilot working 60 plus hr weeks. I only paused for a week, took a waitress job at a health farm, re trained at college to get my ict skills up todate. Went into an area sales job- great wage and team! Then while on Mat leave the company was sold, had to take redundancy. Was a stay at home mum for 7 years, then worked as a TA for school hrs, where I still am today. Everything happens for a reason xx

But you've been very lucky that others have provided a roof over your head or bankrolled your adventures for some of this. This type of good fortune favours the young, it generally dries up as you get older and others get fed up supporting your lifestyle choices.