My colleague came to me in tears and asked to borrow 3k

[Motheroffive999]

She will lose her home and has 3 weeks to find it.
I didn't know what to say , I don't have that amount of money , I have some savings but not that much , and I may need it.
Today she asked for 1k which of course I still do not have at my disposal, but could get it in a few days.
I am torn , I don't want to be unkind but she has bought things recently , lots of small things , things that I do not have the spare money to buy.
What can I do ?

I would direct her to citizens advice debt advise shelter ect. Is she getting any benefits she's entitled to? This needs a professional eye to work out whats gone wrong. If you choose to help her financially bare in mind she is likely not to be able to pay you back.

OP absolutely DO NOT lend her any money but DO let your manager know about this.

I have been in exactly your position and as the colleague handled cash as part of her duties she had to have that responsibility taken away - to protect her as well as the Company.

Plus she's very new to the employer so this is a huge red flag.

Definitely don't give her any money and do say something to your manager/HR, so that they can potentially help her and confirm her circumstances. I can't help but wonder why she doesn't have friends or family that can't help her out. To ask a colleague of 5 months either shows sheer desperation or sheer CF behaviour.

She needs to go through the proper channels to get help if this is a genuine situation.

The likelihood is that you'd never see that money again.

You’ve known her for five months and she’s asking you for 3k (or even 1k). No, no, no! Not your problem to solve.

You won’t see thus money again (and can’t afford to give it to her). If she’s got herself into debt by the tune of 3k, then her money management is very poor.

Point her in the direction of Shelter, the council, etc

DON’T BE GUILT TRIPPED INTO GIViNG HER MONEY. You don’t really know her and her problems aren’t yours.

(I drove to a petrol station to help a colleague (I’d worked with fur over a year) who’d run out of petrol and left her card at home. She said she pay the next day. Nothing. Only when I prompted her a couple of weeks later did she pay. That was under £50).

She won't be loaning her...

She'll be giving it to her... If she is genuinely in that much debt and has been buying stuff... What are the chances that she'll put enough money aside to repay...

She'll either leave or plead poverty til OP gives up!

She needs to go back to mortgage company and make a much reduced payment offer.

Step change too.

This is genius. It tells her there is no money coming from tou and the cheeky butch needs to sort her own troubles out

Think about it. If you give her money, you are just plugging the hole for one month.

She is in a non sustainable situation and your money is not going to get her out of it.

She has no kids and can’t pay her bills, where is all her money going? Anything you give her will be gone the same place and you will not get it back.

Advise her to talk to the Employee Assistance Program herself.

DO NOT GIVE HER ANYTHING

I wouldn't even do this. Give her whatever you are happy to gift her only.
Instead ask her to talk to citizens advice (cab).
If she is genuinely losing her home 3k won't save it.

Don't do it OP, or learn the hard way.
Been there done that, never ends well.

You either never see it again or have to keep chasing.

No, but if you work for a large organisation, some have welfare departments to lend or gift employees money if they are in dire straights.

The civil service used to.

Absolutely not

Depending on your industry, this sort of debt is a MASSIVE red flag

Speak to you manager and explain what's happened

She may have a gambling/shopping addiction or may be being financially abused

HR/Safeguarding need to be involved

I say no, don't do it.
My DP had a work colleague in financial difficulties due to his own incompetence and living beyond his means but his wife was unaware.
When DP came into a bit of money he was on the phone to DP crying that he was going to lose his house and couldn't finish renovations etc and that he was contemplating harming himself. My DP agreed to lend him 15k for 6 months because that was the time that colleague said he needed to straighten himself out. So DP transferred the money without anything signed.....we finally got the money back 5 years later after we threatened to take him to court for it and that DP would raise a work grievance.
It caused us so much stress and obviously we needed the money. The colleague even faked running away and alluded to harming himself when it came to light that he'd not only borrowed from other colleagues, friends and even his wife's friends unbeknownst to her.

So don't do it particularly if you don't have the cash to hand and can't afford to never see it again. She maybe truly desperate or she may be trying it on but who knows - you can't afford it and it will lead to misery and a bad atmosphere when she doesn't pay you back. You need to tell your line manager if she persists because she could be doing it to other people you work with.

Am sorry to say if she's got into this situation, I can't see how she will be in a position to pay you back. What is she going to do when the next mortgage payment is due? Keep borrowing? Sadly she's in a mess and even if you like her a great deal and are tempted to try and help to ask you for that money and put you in that position is tbh out of order.

This

Not only could she be harassing you and other colleagues but she may be stealing money/oroducts etc so it’s important to make your employee aware

Read what I wrote FFS.

The poster had suggested that people had been pressured. This was not true, one person had been asked - the OP.

Don't tell lies to HR.

Don't even think about it. If she has got into the state where she desperately needs 3k, it will get spent immediately and she won't have the means to repay it. She sounds like a fritterer and you'd just be enabling her.

This happened in our street. Neighbour came round one day begging for me to lend her 5k. I've been ripped off before in my youth for much smaller sums and I'm very hardened to it now and just said no, I do not lend money, end of. The begging went on and on, apparently she couldn't possibly ask anyone else, there was no one. But she couldn't explain either why they had got into that state and how they planned to repay it (they were almost retiring age) or why there was no one else to ask. I stood firm and she went away telling me not to say anything to anyone else as she was "embarrassed".

A few months later the same again, this time asking for "only" a grand. I actually got really angry and reminded her that I have two children (they had none) and if I'd had a spare grand I'd be spending on their future not a neighbour with no kids. I also pointed out that they had a 5 bed house and two cars and that they ought to be downsizing their assets to free up money. That did not go down well. I admit that I did give her 100 cash as she just would not leave my house and I was on a work call but I said I wanted it back in a week or I would tell all the other neighbours. A bit nasty of me but I was very angry. (She did put the 100 through the door a couple of days later.)

But 6 months after that they did a moonlight flit having sold their house to a debt management company - no for sale signs went up, they just vanished one day. It turned out that they owed money to several neighbours. One neighbour had lent over 3k. It also turned out the 100 she repaid me was borrowed from another neighbour. No one else got any of their money back.

I do think they had some bad luck with their business which lost vast amounts of money during and after covid but (a) they had no pensions because the business was meant to be "the pension" and (b) they did not face up to the fact that they needed to downscale the lifestyle they had got used to. But that is not anyone else's responsibility.

Sorry that was long but I thought it worth sharing that cautionary tale.

She is not a friend. She is another adult who is paid by the same employer.

Absolutely don't do this....!!

A legal contract will take an age and loads of stress to enforce...

It will cost you chasing her through the Small claims... And if she pleads poverty? .... Court will order her to pay you back over longer period ... And then not do it...

This may go on for years.... And you may get an odd few tenners back... But I'll suspect that will be it...

I've been around a few people who chased others 'friends/colleagues' over 'loaned' money never repaid through small claims court (all between £800/1500)... One of them got about a tenth of the money returned some years after original loan.

I think they all ended up giving up chasing it.

Meanwhile these friends /colleagues had just scammed them... There was no way they could have forgotten as they'd been contacted by the courts. Theu knew they still owed them money but presumably didn't care as none of them even contacted the lender to apologise. At least two of the three were struggling because of the amount they'd loaned.

Don't join them @Motheroffive999 !@Motheroffive999 !!

If she's still been spending, then she hasn't prioritised keeping a roof over her head. Why would she even consider paying you back?

Like PP, I am wondering why the fact she's around the same age as you matters, or the fact she doesnt have kids? You say that as if that makes it more likely she's trust worthy or something. It doesnt, at all lol.

In fact, what she's doing is classic text book scam behaviour - crying to you about some sob story- playing on your emotions and then when you say no, she suggests a smaller amount as a "compromise".

That is literally how scammers operate.

Edit- thinking about it, this woman is probably playing up the fact you're the same age- she's trying to find things in common with you so you feel emotionally more attached to her and she can fleece you out of money. Its a tactic that many narcs use, and its called mirroring.

She's playing you!
Trying to make an alliance as you're "the two oldies...".
There is NO WAY a colleague of 5 months asks to borrow 3k from someone in the office.
Do not give her any more money than you at willing to throw in the fire right now - so do not give her any!
I'm astounded at people 🤯

Don't give her the money. You can't fix this. You will lose the friendship if you loan or give her money, too. Speaking from experience! She'll be very ashamed that she can't pay you back so will avoid you. Friendship killed. You both lose.

You have excuse: "I don't have the money but I will help you" in accessing CAB and negotiating the process and finding out about Council emergency housing and helping her pack or move if comes to that.

Please be very careful and don’t get too involved easier said than done but as you say she has a husband. Most people would never approach work colleagues for this. If she’s upset at work and mentioned it as a reason for her acting stressed then definitely point her either boss (so aware) and external company for advice like shelter.

Good way of thinking about it. Takes the emotion out if it.

You would be ridiculous to even contemplate this.
I would report to my manager because it is massively unprofessional of your colleague to ask.