My colleague came to me in tears and asked to borrow 3k

[Motheroffive999]

She will lose her home and has 3 weeks to find it.
I didn't know what to say , I don't have that amount of money , I have some savings but not that much , and I may need it.
Today she asked for 1k which of course I still do not have at my disposal, but could get it in a few days.
I am torn , I don't want to be unkind but she has bought things recently , lots of small things , things that I do not have the spare money to buy.
What can I do ?

If she's only been in the job for a few months, I would definitely mention to your boss as she's possibly a serial scammer and is also asking your colleagues for money. I wouldn't give her any money or the impression that you might do in the future. Stick to saying 'sorry I don't have any money to lend' and change the subject or excuse yourself from talking to her.

Never a lender or borrower be, as the saying goes. And for good reason. It can destroy relationships and cause a lot of drama. If you could afford to lose that kind of money, with no expectations of getting it back, then fine. But you can’t. You can still be supportive emotionally if you want to, but don’t loan her the money. You probably won’t get it back.

Do not give her any money.
She can ask work for a loan.
It is sad but if you are not rich, you cannot spare that much money. Plus it sounds like she is not good at managing her money.

This makes me sound a dick. But Id always ask myself:

Why has she got in this situation?
Why wont the bank help?
Why wont her family?
Could I afford to lose the money I gave her if I dont get it back? (TBH if the answer to this is no i wouldnt do it at all)
Would our friendship survive if she didnt repay me?

I feel sorry for your friend but if she needs 3k and all you can give is 1k, youll be 1k down, she will be in the same position and likely come asking for more

And I may be being generous calling her a friend as youve said colleague. Id lend a colleage bus fare or a few teabags but that would be the limit of my generosity.

And I think shes cheeky asking you, her coworker for 3000 pounds

Do not under any circumstances lend her money.

From what you've said there is no way you can afford to lose this money. If anything, if you are a mother of five and an 'oldie' as you put it, you really need to be building up your own savings - £1k isn't much of a rainy day fund in 2025.

I had this a few years ago with a colleague but without the tears. It started off with her asking money from another colleague - just £10 here and there for a hair cut, dog food etc. Then she would ask me but not realising I was friends with the other person. It soon turned into £50, £100 each. Always paid it back on payday and the day after she would be asking us both for money. I stopped lending as I could generally not afford. She asked me if she could borrow christmas party deposits around £300 and would pay it back, but I made out the venue needed it sooner. Turns out she was also asking other people in the office and one person lent her £3000 and paid her paid at something like £20 a week. I ended up telling our manager and didn't get involved after that as I changed departments but she still works there.
You need to tell your work before it gets out of hand

you sign post her to where she can get help

shelter for housing
citizen advise for debt
council for council tax and getting that sorted before it escalates further - as its likely she has debt and council tax demands

you tell her you don't have the money to loan, but you can support her in finding the answers for the known authorities to help her get out of the mess she finds herself

If you give her the money, only give it knowing she won’t pay it back.

Can you suggest that you go round to her house and see what she has that is worth selling to try and raise the money?

The thing is if you lend her the money, if you had the money to lend her to get her out of this crisis - it wouldn't actually help her. The woman is still not going to change her habits of spending or address her debt. To really help her, you need to get her to help herself, which means sorting out the mess step by step.

Its not unkind to say no

No.

Your connection to this person is that you happen to work at the same place. That's it.

You are not responsible for her actions, home life or even her work.

Please just say no and don't give away your savings. You won't get them back.

Don't lend money, not even to a good friend, don't try warning other people either, I did and then messenger got shot! Nothing to do with your employer.

Don't do it. You'll never get it back. If she can't pay her mortgage now how exactly will she pay you on top of her mortgage?

Think, why is she asking you? You've only known her 5 month. Why doesn't she ask her patents, siblings, long standing friends rather than you who is basically a random?

Noooo please don't even entertain the idea of giving her any money. You don't know her at all and asking for money 3 months in is a bright red flag! I guarantee you it will be a massive mistake. She will have other options, an advance from work, a loan, credit card, benefit help etc etc

Firstly just dont do it! She is working for a similar wage .It's not like youre a millionaire! Say you dont have access to that sort of money .Maybe point her towards the CAB for help. 3 K is a lot of money to suddenly "need" She has got herself in debt .

That would be a pretty stupid thing to do. Might as well give her the money.

No need to say sorry, or make excuses, or discuss what money she needs.
'I can't help you out financially at all. Let me send you the link to National Debtline - ring them asap.'

Just tell her you don't have it. Most people don't have a ready £1000. It's believable.

I feel very bad for her. But not enough to put my own financial security in jeopardy.

Tell your manager and tell her no you can’t. Do not explain why. I wouldn’t even signpost her to any resources other than H.R.

I agree with one or two people here who’ve advised for you to reflect on why you’re torn about lending her the money - your life savings.

I would not give any money ( probably because i don’t have it anyway) but ask her are you in any other “trouble “ like gambling, drugs,shopping. Or anyone else in her circle.
everyone deserves to be heard

What you can do is give her contact details for debt management agencies.

Do not give her anything. Have a chat with your manager and say you feel she is pressurising you at work to bail her out of the mess if her own making.

I wouldn’t lend her anything and I wouldn’t offer to help her out with selling her stuff or debt management or anything else that ‘might’ help. Presumably she is not a stupid person and can find out what to do herself. Plus she has a partner so they will have to work it out together.

If you think about it, it’s a cheek to ask a colleague for a personal loan of £3000! Where are her family and friends? Maybe she’s asked them and could be borrowing several times £3000 or maybe they all said no as they are fed up of bailing her out.

Do not lend her this money, you will regret it.

You say 'I'm really sorry you're struggling but I don't have spare money to lend you, so I can't help'. You have to understand that giving her even a £1K, is money you will likely never see again, even if she tells you she'll pay you back. If she's in the shit with money, how is she going to afford to pay you back?! She can't and you can't afford to give her the money. So, therefore it's a hard No.