My colleague came to me in tears and asked to borrow 3k

[Motheroffive999]

She will lose her home and has 3 weeks to find it.
I didn't know what to say , I don't have that amount of money , I have some savings but not that much , and I may need it.
Today she asked for 1k which of course I still do not have at my disposal, but could get it in a few days.
I am torn , I don't want to be unkind but she has bought things recently , lots of small things , things that I do not have the spare money to buy.
What can I do ?

Do not lend her any money, you won’t get it back and cannot afford it. Tell her to speak to HR / your manager. If she continues to harass you for it, mention it to them yourself.

Ask yourself why she is asking you, an acquaintance of only 5 months standing, for money?

She is a scammer.

Wonder how many other people she has asked? You won’t be the first (and not the last). Chances are, she’ll take the money, and run. What’s her previous employment history like?

Don’t give her the money!

Do not do it. Next month she will need more money. She needs to speak with a homelessness charity or step change if she's in debt. If you are feeling pressured to lend her the money, then yes I would speak with your work

I doubt 3k is the solution to her issues, more of a holding position at best if she actually puts it towards whatever arrears she has. If she is asking virtual strangers, family and friends will have already been asked(probably not for the first time) and refused. Direct her to CAB as there will be more going on that she is likely to admit. You are not her banker and it is fine to say no.

No. Do not even make an excuse or offer to loan her a lower amount. Just a straight no. I can’t believe anyone would even consider doing this?

How very sad. You cannot give her the money, you'll never see it again.

It is hard to say no if you are a kind person. My experience was that in the early 90's I had a woman at work hounding me for money, she'd turn up in the staff room and my heart would sink. I always 'gave' her the money because I smoked then and understood what it was like not to have any fags, I always said don't pay me back, but it became too regular. Then she asked to order from my catalogue, and her cheques bounced twice, I had to pay £29 charges which I couldn't afford then. She lived in the same road as the college and when I was walking home a few months later I saw a skip outside her house - and a piece of wood and padlocks on her front door. She'd been repossessed.

That night she turned up in a taxi about 8 pm at our house asking to phone her husband in Spain during the days of land line long distance charges - and she asked if we could lend her any money. Her kids had been put in a separate hostel and she wanted the money for a private rental so they could all be together. Their dog had been sent to a rescue charity. My husband and I felt awful but we were very skint with a huge mortgage. I was just about to go on maternity leave and we had to say no to lending her money, but we let her use our phone and I gave her my dinner and a £5 for the taxi back to the hostel. I never heard from her again and left work to go north with my husband's promotion and told a close friend about her borrowing - she said you weren't the only one, she borrowed from everyone. Sad times, sad woman.

Today she asked for 1k which of course I still do not have at my disposal, but could get it in a few days.

I hope you didn't tell her that!

You will never see that money again. How on earth do you think she would ever pay you back?!

Please don't give her any money . You haven't known her long so this could be a pattern . Just say you don't have it to spare which is true. Good luck x

Don’t lend her a cent OP, you won’t ever be repaid & she’ll keep asking.

I would tell your boss to protect yourself in case she turns nasty after a loan refusal and also just in case she has access to company funds & decides to dip in.

No. don't lend any money. I would have a quiet word with manager, maybe don't mention your colleagues name unless they ask. They may be able to help

I hope you don't do this, this happened to me.
Someone I work with came to us as a team asking for money similiar situation, but it was for rent.
We were all quite friendly, not anymore.
Needless to say one member of the team, got her money back after several years,but had to be quite pushy , the others did not.
Like the others have said usually the person continues to be bad with money, there is a reason why they got in this situation.
You might be kind but they can ask their own family.
Sounds like you need your money for your own children.
Hope.that doesn't sound brutal, you can be sympathetic but that should be as far as it goes.

Only lend what you're willing to loose. Do not give your colleague money! It has disaster written all over it. Doesn't she have family? Bank loan? Don't do it op! Sorry I'm not in any financial position to help, but il be here to support in other ways. All you need to say. You'll see how much of a friend she is by her reaction

I'd be telling work.

There are any a number of things going on here and none of them good or any better than the other.

Work have a duty of care to protect themselves, the business and their employees.

There's a reason she's asking someone she barely knows.

“She is lovely”

NO op
she’s is not lovely
I can’t believe you would consider doing this for a minute! Any amount?! Absolutely nuts!

Absolutely no. If she has got into that much debt, then it means she cannot get a loan to tidy her over either. You will never see a penny again.

if your employer has an EAP then direct her to that as they can direct her towards financial advise.
also citizens advise or step change who can advise on debt consolidation.

she has massively overstepped asking you, and you need to be firm with a no, not a penny. she can talk to her manager or HR too.
if she continues, I would bring it up with your manager.

Tbh, I read stuff like this and wonder how some people manage to nanvigate life.

I can't believe anyone would seriously want to give money someone in these circumstances.

No don’t tell your employer/boss. It’s not your information to share. You can direct her to them in case they can help. Definitely do not lend her the money.

The thing is she is crap with money!

Lend her 1k and not only will she not pay it back, she will make you out to be the bad person if you remind her that you haven’t been repaid and you will feel a mug every time she spends money on new outfits or boasts about a foreign holiday or a new car. You are just one of a long line of people she has asked to “borrow” from.

I briefly had an ex boyfriend like this and I realised that he had continually asked people for loans, (but I realised that in his head they were “gifts”) and he got upset that people asked to be repaid and that his former friends who had lent him money turned their backs on him and dissed him to others. He had no concept of saving and thought that other people’s savings, once he found out about them, were his if he asked for them.

Now she knows you have access to £1k she will wheedle it out of you and keep asking.

Be polite but be firm “no I can’t lend you money, please don’t ask me again”.

Do you have an employee assistance programme at work?

Some offer debt and financial advice.

I would advise her to talk to her line manager. Some organisations might offer a pay advance to a staff member who was facing a cash flow issue. I've not knowingly worked for one that has offered a £3k advance, but the possibility is there in my place and would be offered for example in the case of domestic violence where somebody needed funds for a deposit to be able to make themselves safe.

Some PPs have raised a good question... why is she coming to a new colleague rather than friends or family?
The answer is because she's already burned all those bridges. She's borrowed from them plenty of times and not paid back, so now it's down to asking people she barely knows.
@Motheroffive999 please do not do this!
I could easily afford to give 3k, but to be honest I wouldn't even loan her 30 quid!

Absolutely not. A colleague’s financial situation is not your issue to fix using your own money.

she shouldn’t give her a penny, but yes we do have a duty of care at least i do . Yes I would quietly say to HR and ask if she’s got a money issue ( probably spending money she hasn’t got or bad with money ) I care

As others have said, she has a partner. They have not gone straight to you. They will have exhausted other options - relatives, friends etc. They are in serious trouble already if they are three weeks away from losing their house so this isn’t a single missed payment. Yet, you say she’s buying things you can’t afford. She can’t manage money, has got herself into a mess and is selfishly expecting you to part with your own savings and security to help her. It’s appalling from her. You will not see any of this money again. Suggest that she sells some of her recent purchases!

You DO need to speak to your boss

You need to tell them that you feel uncomfortable that a new member of staff has asked for such a large amount of money more than once. That you dont want to feel responsible for her troubles

That is part of management's job. So don't hesitate to get yourself some support

Her behaviour is, as others have said, really unfair on you. Don't let her declared calamity become any kind of issue for you.