Regret seeing my co workers Teams Message

[Winebath85]

I have been in my new job since Dec 24, all fine, small team and they are all ok, I thought.

I accidentally saw a team message between my co worker and her husband, he is external to our company.

She was telling him details of me, my family, my ex husband ( all not great things)and she thinks I’m strange as I don’t get involved in much conversation. I am quiet, im a really nervous person but now I’m worse!

It’s not a big deal to many but it’s really opened my eyes, i feel uncomfortable, I no longer want to be involved with her, there was some really hurtful, unnecessary and uncomfortable comments.

She was saying there is an awkward atmosphere, well sorry but I’m not surprised after what I saw. Do I approach this at all, it’s just such a small team and I’m now really paranoid of every move I make and so nervous I’m not speaking.

I think you need to raise your concern in a way that means your colleague does not get the chance to delete the messages. If you raise it informally then someone might give her the opportunity to clean up her teams history.

Yes, maybe that would be better. Would that mean the person would know I’ve reported her. It’s silly but I don’t want to cause trouble I just want it to be known I’m aware of what’s going on and I don’t want to put up with it.

This sounds a good plan Op

If you report her, there will be problems.You know there will. You're brooding over a few comments and it's taken over your life.

Honestly think you need to move on and stop being quite so sensitive.

People sometimes don't like each other. Big deal. You're there to do a job, not have the best of times, necessarily.

You weren't meant to read what she wrote. Yes she should not have left it open and that was bitchy. She's not nice.

But there are lots of horrible people in the world.

I'm not sure this is an HR matter. Just move on OP. And try to be less sensitive.

I'd have the informal chat but I'd not report her. That's going to far. You're there to do a job and it's just so petty. I'd try and think about more positive things and get a life going outside of work which makes you happy and feel fulfilled so you're not deflated by mean people that you come across from time to time.

Aware of what’s going on? So what. Other people in the office are talking about you too, but you haven’t seen their messages. It was a mistake. Get over it.

How did you have time to read all that whilst she was showing you another screen. Surely she spotted what was in her second screen and you reading i ? Sounds highly unlikely you’d have the time to read so much without pagin down.
Sorry but there is more to this I suspect.