Regret seeing my co workers Teams Message

[Winebath85]

I have been in my new job since Dec 24, all fine, small team and they are all ok, I thought.

I accidentally saw a team message between my co worker and her husband, he is external to our company.

She was telling him details of me, my family, my ex husband ( all not great things)and she thinks I’m strange as I don’t get involved in much conversation. I am quiet, im a really nervous person but now I’m worse!

It’s not a big deal to many but it’s really opened my eyes, i feel uncomfortable, I no longer want to be involved with her, there was some really hurtful, unnecessary and uncomfortable comments.

She was saying there is an awkward atmosphere, well sorry but I’m not surprised after what I saw. Do I approach this at all, it’s just such a small team and I’m now really paranoid of every move I make and so nervous I’m not speaking.

I also didn’t know you could do this from a work place Teams to another external company where here husband works.

We do live in a small village so I suppose hear say/gossip. I’m just hacked off that sitting right next to me I’m the highlight of her messages to her husband? Also to bring my child into it really annoyed me!

I think you need to speak to your manager. You can’t have something like this hanging over you and eating away at you quietly. I doubt you would be ostracised, but if you speak to the manager and it gets out in the open it can be cleared up and put away and you can move on from it. The not knowing if she’s still doing it and what’s she’s saying will make you so unhappy at work and we spend so much time there.

It will spread all round the village. I'd be very careful. If you're a quiet person without many allies, she may well ostracise you in the whole village and life could be very difficult.

if you're a quiet person, that's fine, but some people find it awkward.

Instead I'd mention it upfront that you're socially anxious and it's really hard being this way.

If you appeal to her compassionate side, she'll understand you're not being unfriendly, it's just nerves.

This is a break down in communication.

She's assuming you're rude and uninterested in her probably.

You're just nervous and worried and not speaking for fear of judgement.

But yes, in a village setting I'd be very very careful. if you were in London and lived in different places fine, but this is a person that could ruin your reputation with ease.

has she invited her husband to be a guest on your Teams? i think you have to invite outside people to your Teams chat. might be a breach of IT policy right there with it being an external company

You must have been reasonably forthcoming and conversational at work for colleagues to know about your family. I share very little. I’m not cagey. I just get people to talk about themselves. Try it going forward. It might help you feel less anxious.

Quite. And why does she need to be telling her husband about her colleague’s personal life anyway?

It depends how the Teams estate was setup. However it's not unusual to allow users to create an invite link which will establish a transient Teams session (for example if you are interviewing, or inviting a client to a meeting).

There are a raft of tools to aid compliance officers in Teams (and Google and all the collaboration tools I've seen).

Is it a company teams account? It’s a really tricky one but I suggest looking for a new role or trying to move teams. Making a complaint would be worthwhile if it were within the company but they can’t limit communications between spouses on external platforms. Also make sure you’re not revealing personal info at work or having co workers on your personal social media accounts, prevents gossip.

if it helps at all, I’ve experienced a similar thing at work and I am a quiet, slightly awkward person (due to autism). Everyone likes me to my Face but I can only imagine what they say behind my back considering the comments I have had. You do not need to change, you are good enough as you are. People like her are set on complaining and gossiping. It says a lot more about her than about you

At the least I would expect any external invitation to a Teams meeting to be backed up with some sort of trail.

Gossipy chat aside, this incident reminds of the risks of such tools - suppose the employee in question was spaffing company secrets to a rival ? Or even worse, customer details to criminals ?

Is it a company teams account?

That would just be another issue if company equipment was being used.

E2A:

Making a complaint would be worthwhile if it were within the company but they can’t limit communications between spouses on external platforms.

They can if they pay for them.

I get the impression that you don't really like conflict nor to raise things (there are many of us like this) and I do agree that you would be best tackling this head on. It can be done as Lavender has said, just mention that she'd left her screen open and you saw your child's name etc. I agree that as your manager, she should have raised any concerns that she or the team have about inclusion etc, not be gossiping behind your back. I can imagine how isolated you must now be feeling.

Oh certainly we can do that for calls / meetings. But I have never worked anywhere where you can use internal messaging systems externally.

I doesn’t matter whether she told anyone face to face or in an email…….she had NO right in sharing those details with anyone! Very unprofessional of her and to be honest, I’d consider reporting her to her own line manager…..if she’s sharing details about work colleagues she could well be sharing information about the company…….think industrial espionage…….extreme I know but it does happen

Given the absolute plethora of ways to communicate these days why on earth is she using a company Teams to message her husband! Silly woman. If she meant for you to read them then she’s bullying you.

Speak to your manager OP even if only to explain any ‘atmosphere’

This stuff happens so often. People bitch another other colleagues all the time - only the stupid ones do it on company software or using company tools.

Typically, there will be an acceptable use policy which states you can use company IT for personal use, within reasonable tolerances - only if it's not for illegal reasons (and there's usually a list).

However - If you submitted a SAR (Subject Access Request) and was very specific, saying the search terms you would like them to include (e.g. your name / a nickname etc) and the platforms you would like the data from (e.g email / MS Teams) and the date range... I'd imagine the conversation your colleague had will be included. Certain parts not relating to you may be redacted, but it should be included.

However - what do you want to happen? If you enjoy working there, you would be effectively throwing a grenade in there as typically SARS are only requested by employees or ex employees if there's a grievance or there's been a dismissal, so what would you want to do with the information?

Thank you for the info.

Im not sure I want anything “bad” to happen. I’m so new at my work and probably very naive. I’m nervous by nature but in no way ignorant, I always try but much of the time I can’t concentrate/learn and get too involved in chit chat.

I want my Line Manager and co workers to know I’m not a problem, I dont want to be one but I also don’t want to be in an environment where I feel I have to spend hours pretending to be someone I’m not, it’s too exhausting and I’m too old.

I also want my co worker to know I saw what she wrote and to who.

I want my Line Manager and co workers to know I’m not a problem, I dont want to be one but I also don’t want to be in an environment where I feel I have to spend hours pretending to be someone I’m not, it’s too exhausting and I’m too old.

Some would say that is already symptomatic of being bullied ...

I am sorry that you were able to see this .
I would definitely tell your manager so it can be documented and kept on file ,even if you don't want to take it any further this time.

I know! I almost want OP to contact the ICO for this "breach" just for the polite 'get a grip' message she'll get back and the laughs it will provide in the ICOs own team chats "guys I've just had a complaint about her colleague moaning about her behind her back..."

The bare minimum for a personal data breach (and there usually have to be other exacerbating factors as well for any significant action to be taken) is that the data shared is something that the data subject has a reasonable expectation to be private. If it's something the OP has shared with her colleagues (i.e. that she has a child) it's not something she has kept private is it?

The main thrust of this thread is that it seems a clear breach of the employers AUP. That would be my starting point from both an IT manager and a Data Protection Officer standpoint.

I've also learned through long experience that wherever you find one breach, you will inevitably find more. The phrase "the tip of the iceberg" may be cliched, but it does sometimes apply.

How on earth can you say it's a "clear breach" of the AUP when you don't know where OP works or what her org's AUP says?

My current and previous job both specified that it was absolutely fine to use work equipment (phones, laptops) for personal messaging/calls/internet browsing during work time, as long as not excessive. If OP's is the same then the colleague hasn't done anything wrong in communicating with her DH, the only issue is the content, and you're edging on very dodgy territory once you start policing how people think of their colleagues.

Using teams for private messaging doesn't cost the company anything, and for all we know she sent the messages on her break, so not even in work time (although again that's fine where I work).

Honestly I find it quite concerning that you're an IT manager and can't seem to conceive of the possibility of different companies having different terms and conditions to where you work.

A lot of people seem to be confusing doing something morally/ethically unpleasant with actually breaching laws/guidance.

It’s quite normal. I get Teams messages all the time from my external lawyers or my external audit firm asking if I’m free for a call when they are doing work for me.

I think you can message anyone in your Microsoft address book. Doesn’t have to be internal.

I think you can message anyone in your Microsoft address book. Doesn’t have to be internal.

Probably depends on how your company has configured its security.

Thank you all for taking time to reply.

Ive decided to have an informal chat with my TL and explain things. I don’t think they can take it as a complaint unless I say?

I want to get it out there that I’m not awkward or strange or not a team player, just was a bit annoyed/hurt by what I saw .

I think that way it’s on record and if my working life becomes more miserable as a consequence well I will know it’s time to look for another job.

Definitely do that so it is on record. I would be furious but very supportive if I was your manager. Good luck and dont let the b%£stards get you down! you deserve to be there