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Original poster

I've finally made official complaint against colleague

160 replies

Diamond68 · 07/03/2025 09:34

I have a very difficult colleague, I am management, she is not. She has constantly undermined me and made the office atmosphere very toxic. This has been going on for 2 years now. HR have been trying to manage out of the business for a while now but she is clever enough to go as far as the line without crossing it. Yesterday she contradicted me at a whole company meeting and accused me of lying. I have full support of management and have documented proof that she is wrong. she continued throughout the day and went to many people in the company accusing me of lying. Management witnessed this and advised me to make an official complaint As we speak she is now in a meeting with HR who will present her with a written warning. I have moved myself to another office it the building but i will be alone with her for the remainder of the day and I am almost sick with worry over it. Any advice on how to manage this situation? Thanks

OP posts:
HundredMilesAnHour · 07/03/2025 09:36

Is there to a way to avoid being alone with her? I think that you need to make sure there’s at least one other person there.

apostrophewoman · 07/03/2025 09:37

How can they give her a written warning immediately? That's not the form that grievances take, HR have to go through their complaints policy to the letter, and in my experience, that doesn't result in an immediate written warning.

Hoppinggreen · 07/03/2025 09:37

Document everything and email it to HR
Refuse to discuss it with her at all, in fact only speak to her when/if absolutely necessary.
Be icy polite and professional but other than that don't engage.
Hopefully she will be gone before too long

Avidreader12 · 07/03/2025 09:38

is there any way you can work from home today? It sounds like this colleague doesn’t respect you. HR are presumably involved to support you so you don’t need to be sick with worry.

Original poster
Diamond68 · 07/03/2025 09:39

@apostrophewoman She has had a number of informal meetings prior to this in relation to other lesser issues around her work and so this is the next step in the process.

OP posts:
Original poster
Diamond68 · 07/03/2025 09:40

@Avidreader12 We are an SME and the rest of the management team are off today so i have to be here to support the manufacturing team etc.

OP posts:
Original poster
Diamond68 · 07/03/2025 09:41

@Hoppinggreen Icy polite and professional. I like that. It will be my mantra for the day. Thank you.

OP posts:
JoyousPinkPeer · 07/03/2025 09:49

They can't present her with a written warning without a full and fair investigation and disciplinary hearing.

BlondiePortz · 07/03/2025 09:51

apostrophewoman · 07/03/2025 09:37

How can they give her a written warning immediately? That's not the form that grievances take, HR have to go through their complaints policy to the letter, and in my experience, that doesn't result in an immediate written warning.

Plus no one should be told what discipline another staff member gets

JoyousPinkPeer · 07/03/2025 09:52

apostrophewoman · 07/03/2025 09:37

How can they give her a written warning immediately? That's not the form that grievances take, HR have to go through their complaints policy to the letter, and in my experience, that doesn't result in an immediate written warning.

Totally agree, they haven't got a clue as to how to manage the disciplinary process.

Hoppinggreen · 07/03/2025 09:52

Diamond68 · 07/03/2025 09:41

@Hoppinggreen Icy polite and professional. I like that. It will be my mantra for the day. Thank you.

Good luck

Original poster
Diamond68 · 07/03/2025 09:57

I don't know anything about HR procedures. I am only going by what I've been told.

OP posts:
AbbieLexie · 07/03/2025 10:00

HR are leaving you very exposed I feel. Can there be another member of staff present / working with you as then you would have a witness if it all kicks off?

CoralHare · 07/03/2025 10:01

You can give a written warning straight away after verbal warnings and it’s not usual for a manger to be kept in the loop. You may have different policies in your workplace but that isn’t the legal requirement.

Original poster
Diamond68 · 07/03/2025 10:04

i have moved everything I need for the day to a separate office in the building, I will remain here for the day and return to my own desk on Monday when there are more people in the office.

OP posts:
Original poster
Diamond68 · 07/03/2025 10:06

If she approaches me can I just say ' i think its best if i don't discuss this with you' ?

OP posts:
Ilikewinter · 07/03/2025 10:08

Diamond68 · 07/03/2025 10:06

If she approaches me can I just say ' i think its best if i don't discuss this with you' ?

I would, don't enter into any discussions with her. Remember she's the one in the wrong, not you!

AbbieLexie · 07/03/2025 10:09

Be more assertive I feel - it is inappropriate to discuss this with me
HR should be giving you this advice - ask them for it in writing,
Are you in a union?

Hoppinggreen · 07/03/2025 10:09

Diamond68 · 07/03/2025 10:06

If she approaches me can I just say ' i think its best if i don't discuss this with you' ?

Yes but more assertively
I am NOT going to discuss this with you

Original poster
Diamond68 · 07/03/2025 10:12

I'm not in a union. I will wait for HR advise but i will be assertive in saying that I won't discuss it.

OP posts:
Original poster
Diamond68 · 07/03/2025 10:20

Thanks all. I haven't heard anything since so I am assuming that HR will contact me at some stage.

OP posts:
JoyousPinkPeer · 07/03/2025 10:22

CoralHare · 07/03/2025 10:01

You can give a written warning straight away after verbal warnings and it’s not usual for a manger to be kept in the loop. You may have different policies in your workplace but that isn’t the legal requirement.

Nonsense. Are you HR qualified?

Cyclebabble · 07/03/2025 10:34

Everything here depends on context, but calling a Manager a liar in a whole team meeting is a very serious issue. I do not work in HR but I do have many years of senior Management experience and usually for an issue as serious as this it might be normal to suspend the staff member whilst an investigation is undertaken. This might be particularly appropriate if the atmosphere is very sour or if there might be a physical risk to an employee. Employers have a duty of care to all staff. The process does need to be fair though and that would normally involve the person being disciplined being able to present their case and provide evidence and a right of appeal on any decision.

NowYouSee · 07/03/2025 10:48

Your HR sound very weak. Does this woman report into you or another leader?

healthybychristmas · 07/03/2025 10:50

She is the one who should be sick with worry! I wouldn't greet her e.g. in the corridor but I would address her if you absolutely have to in a meeting for instance.