I've finally made official complaint against colleague

[Diamond68]

I have a very difficult colleague, I am management, she is not. She has constantly undermined me and made the office atmosphere very toxic. This has been going on for 2 years now. HR have been trying to manage out of the business for a while now but she is clever enough to go as far as the line without crossing it. Yesterday she contradicted me at a whole company meeting and accused me of lying. I have full support of management and have documented proof that she is wrong. she continued throughout the day and went to many people in the company accusing me of lying. Management witnessed this and advised me to make an official complaint As we speak she is now in a meeting with HR who will present her with a written warning. I have moved myself to another office it the building but i will be alone with her for the remainder of the day and I am almost sick with worry over it. Any advice on how to manage this situation? Thanks

I take it you have had no training or qualifications in employment law/HR!

anyone who believes an employee just needs to "claim constructive dismissal" for it to be true, doesn't have the foggiest clue what it entails nor in what context it makes it true. Utter rubbish.

It would seem everyone has a tendency to “stick their heads in the sand” when it comes to spectating this woman bullying you for years and apparently giving you their unequivocal support but…. Actually doing zilch

and is HR one person given a company of just 25?

If this person has now had a warning on Friday I believe you either choose to accept that and continue working with her or choose to make a grievance. Any further incidents you just log and go through HR. What do you think the grievance will achieve that the warning hasn’t?

yes @Fullofpop HR is one person with the assistance of an outside HR consultancy that do all our HR stuff. @Avidreader12 having woken this morning with a clearer head that's exactly the way I've been thinking I think I have to just accept that she has received the warning and then log every incident going forward. I think the higher management want me to be the one to instigate the grievance and I really don't think it will achieve anything apart from making the atmosphere here even more toxic.

I think the higher management want me to be the one to instigate the grievance

I don’t think they give a hoot either way based on their spectator role for the last two years

How long has your colleague been there?

@Fullofpop She has been working in the company for about 6 years.

And never once been pulled up

OP has it occurred to you that maybe you have misinterpreted support from management and colleagues for you against her? Because literally nothing indicates they give a fudge despite apparently having front row seats to this abuse for 2 years?

You really need to join a union OP. Make that your first task next week.

I don't think it should be up to you to raise a grievance. If she has behaved badly in a meeting and its not a one-off issue, the COMPANY should be taking action, not putting the responsibility/blame onto you. You would not have been the only person affected when she accused you of lying, she undermines the whole company when she behaves that way. The company should deal with it appropriately.

Just be aware she is very likely recording all your meetings on a phone. Act accordingly.

Cctv + another colleague must be there, at least. Preferably male and female. I find it difficult to believe that HR would put the complainee with the complainer, unless they're testing you both. Make sure you do not touch her ever, be polite and make sure to communicate crystal clear what's required of her. Emails are ideal.

So that's the plan, keep faraway from her?? I managed people for years in a high pressure environment of all different disciplines so I know what you're going through. My advise to you, toughen up as this person probably doesn't respect you and resents your authority. Face her as soon as possible to show you're not intimidated and remember, youre in charge not her and she's in the wrong so start commanding some respect. Good luck.

I must be extremely irritating for management as everyone is complaining
but without a grievance it’s going nowhere
to be blunt ether follow the process and do something about it or put up with it

people like this don’t change have an amazing skill at making themselves the victim and also warnings expire

Bill Eddy is the go to person for these situations. He has a fabulous book which helped me navigate a similar position in the past. The Gemini Google AI response below summarises the BIFF response.

A BIFF Response, developed by Bill Eddy, is a method for responding to hostile communications by being Brief, Informative, Friendly, and Firm, aiming to de-escalate conflict and end the conversation without triggering defensiveness.

Here's a more detailed explanation:
What it is:
The BIFF Response is a communication strategy designed to help individuals respond to hostile emails, social media posts, or personal attacks in a way that de-escalates the situation and prevents further conflict.

The Acronym:
BIFF stands for:

Brief: Keep your response concise and to the point, avoiding long explanations or arguments.

Informative: Focus on providing factual information, not on defending yourself or engaging in emotional arguments.

Friendly: Maintain a calm and respectful tone, even when dealing with a hostile message.

Firm: Clearly state your position or information, and end the conversation decisively.

Why it works:
By using this approach, you can effectively communicate your message without escalating the conflict or giving the other person an opportunity to prolong the argument.

Example:
Instead of responding to a hostile email with an angry or defensive reply, use a BIFF Response by being brief, informative, friendly, and firm.

Hostile Email: "You are so stupid and inconsiderate! You never do anything right!"
BIFF Response: "I understand you are upset, but I am not going to engage in this type of conversation. I will be available to discuss this further on [date/time], if you would like."

No one seems to be complaining aside from the OP

I don't know much about this sort of thing but something sounds off. Why are you so key to her getting a disciplinary? And why are you being asked to write a grievance? Don't they have proper processes? Verbal warnings etc that she'd be aware of already. I can't imagine that they'd go straight to a written warning. Sounds very odd.

She could try to raise an issue back if she goes to acas or somewhere.

Aye? What do you mean the management want you to investigate. Why would they want you to do that? Sounds utterly bizarre & quite unrealistic.

Instigate. Not investigate

Either way sounds very odd, why would they want op to do either

noone could raise the grievance except for the Op!

I think you are entirely correct.
You might have the moral high ground but, in my experience, the fight isn't worth the outcome.
She will take you down with her and, when she does, HR will not do anything to support you and, if you are not careful, you will be the one who ends up in the wrong.
Protect your own peace of mind and mental health at all costs.

I think this Op has very much misinterpreted supposed support from management

Misinterpreted what HR have said to her

and basically…. There’s a heck of a lot more to this and likely it is the OP being discretely managed out

You are management, don't invite her to meetings, if she can't confront you in public it isn't a problem. This is much easier and less likely to make it look like there is some substance to her arguments.