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Original poster

I've finally made official complaint against colleague

160 replies

Diamond68 · 07/03/2025 09:34

I have a very difficult colleague, I am management, she is not. She has constantly undermined me and made the office atmosphere very toxic. This has been going on for 2 years now. HR have been trying to manage out of the business for a while now but she is clever enough to go as far as the line without crossing it. Yesterday she contradicted me at a whole company meeting and accused me of lying. I have full support of management and have documented proof that she is wrong. she continued throughout the day and went to many people in the company accusing me of lying. Management witnessed this and advised me to make an official complaint As we speak she is now in a meeting with HR who will present her with a written warning. I have moved myself to another office it the building but i will be alone with her for the remainder of the day and I am almost sick with worry over it. Any advice on how to manage this situation? Thanks

OP posts:
daisychain01 · 07/03/2025 18:06

NowYouSee · 07/03/2025 10:48

Your HR sound very weak. Does this woman report into you or another leader?

Management witnessed this and advised me to make an official complaint

Management sound even more weak.

if they witnessed an employee not behaving correctly, this colleague's line manager should have had an informal meeting with her rather than you needing to get sucked into the drama with a formal complaint. Completely pointless waste of time.

LindaDarrah · 07/03/2025 19:27

TravellingTartan · 07/03/2025 14:21

I assume you've never worked for the civil service!

I don't even think you'd get sacked even if you killed someone.

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Doesn't mean it's not true about private companies though

DBD1975 · 07/03/2025 19:40

I would think very long and hard about raising a grievance. No party ever comes out of the process unscathed and the stress will be off the scale.

DBD1975 · 07/03/2025 19:42

dogcatkitten · 07/03/2025 13:49

Sounds like a situation for gardening leave for the other employee, it sounds very aggressive and if the OP is worried about having to interact with the person again I would be getting them escorted off the premises for everyone's safety, particularly if their are few other personnel around.

It might end up with OP being put on gardening leave.

Fullofpop · 07/03/2025 19:46

Diamond68 · 07/03/2025 09:40

@Avidreader12 We are an SME and the rest of the management team are off today so i have to be here to support the manufacturing team etc.

Obviously a quiet work day for you allowing lots of mumsnet time!

Fullofpop · 07/03/2025 19:46

Diamond68 · 07/03/2025 09:57

I don't know anything about HR procedures. I am only going by what I've been told.

You’re in management
and don’t know anything about HR procedures?

Weddingbells6 · 07/03/2025 19:50

I feel like (could be wrong) that your company are using you to get rid of her. So, they’ve struggled to ‘manage her out’ which shouldn’t be hard if she genuinely does cross the line etc. So now they’ve got a grievance from you to help them but then they aren’t supporting you afterwards. They should be making sure you’re not alone with her after encouraging you to complain! I’m sorry but I would be careful when trusting them, they may not have your best interest at heart.

Avidreader12 · 07/03/2025 19:51

DBD1975 · 07/03/2025 19:40

I would think very long and hard about raising a grievance. No party ever comes out of the process unscathed and the stress will be off the scale.

I agree with this 100% I do not understand your work policies. If someone has lied about you and your their manager would you not issue the warning? At my last work grievance was only a last resort when management couldn’t resolve so I’m not sure why your HR department are asking you to do this.

Fullofpop · 07/03/2025 19:53

All these people and management who apparently wholeheartedly support the OP

and yet…

appear to have done bugger all about it 🤔

JazzyBBBG · 07/03/2025 19:57

Did no one call her out when she did this?

BansheeOfTheSouth · 07/03/2025 19:58

JoyousPinkPeer · 07/03/2025 10:22

Nonsense. Are you HR qualified?

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Serious misconduct issues can absolutely result in an immediate written warning without any prior verbal warnings.

Fullofpop · 07/03/2025 19:58

JazzyBBBG · 07/03/2025 19:57

Did no one call her out when she did this?

It would appear not

But the op is convinced she has all their unwavering support

Original poster
Diamond68 · 07/03/2025 20:41

Sorry for not coming back sooner. I've been tied up with my other role (mum) since. Yes I do agree that my immediate tends to stick his head in the sand as he is bearing retirement and as far as I can see he has 'checked out' already and doesn't want the hassle. We are a rather small company (25 people) and many working together for 20 plus years so everyone is get close work wise.

OP posts:
Fullofpop · 07/03/2025 20:43

How long has she been there?

and HR is presumably just one person in a company this size?

dogcatkitten · 07/03/2025 21:10

DBD1975 · 07/03/2025 19:42

It might end up with OP being put on gardening leave.

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Why? They seem to be obviously in the right.

TheseCalmSeas · 07/03/2025 21:11

She sounds like my old line report. I should have raised a grievance but tried to kill her with kindness.

She ended up raising a grievance about me & four others. She was and still is utterly bonkers. She was fired due to lying in the grievance & admitting she wanted paying off - silly woman.

Puzzledandpissedoff · 07/03/2025 21:29

... my immediate tends to stick his head in the sand as he is bearing retirement and as far as I can see he has 'checked out' already and doesn't want the hassle

That would certainly explain putting this onto you to make a formal complaint ... kick the can down the road pretending to "deal with it" until the time comes for him to leave, then pass it to someone else to act (if they act at all)

Frankly I'd be looking for a job elsewhere, preferably somewhere with proper management

JoyousPinkPeer · 07/03/2025 21:41

JFDIYOLO · 07/03/2025 13:33

I have a very difficult colleague ... She has constantly undermined me and made the office atmosphere very toxic. This has been going on for 2 years now.

Now she's publicly and repeatedly accused you of lying.

What a bunch of absolute WIMPS you work with /for.

Despite the fact she's created a toxic atmosphere for two years they've done naff all to deal with her.

Now they're trying to pile the load of performance managing and behavioural consequences for her into your shoulders?

Tell them exactly what she's been doing and the effect it's had on colleagues, morale, team spirit, productivity, and how long she's been allowed to do it.

And she has now been repeatedly slandering your reputation.

Get statements from supportive colleagues if you can.

Present that to them and ask if they really think it's your job to make that decision??

They are passing the buck and ducking out of their responsibilities.

Edited

Good points. I'd give them the names of potential witnesses rather than get my own statements ... could be viewed as collusion/coercion ... its their job to investige.

ByQuaintAzureWasp · 07/03/2025 22:32

prh47bridge · 07/03/2025 15:08

I am struggling to understand what you think OP's employer is doing wrong.

This individual has had previous verbal warnings. An investigation meeting is not compulsory. If the employer is able to conduct a reasonable investigation and gather enough evidence without having a meeting with the employee, they are free to do so. They can then move on to the hearing, where the employee can present their case. In this instance, given the employee's previous record, the employer is clearly of the view that this is likely to lead to a written warning. They should, of course, be willing to change if the employee has a good defence. And, since OP is in management, it isn't surprising that she is being kept in the loop, particularly if she has management responsibility for this individual.

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My response was in reference to somebody who said employees can be sacked 'on the spot' nothing to do with ops post.

A full and fair investigation is in line with ACAS guidelines is required. They should have an investigation meeting with the employee (wherever possible) as part of this so their representations can be considered. The investigator should not know about any previous warnings, as it will likely be seen to prejudice their findings. Do you believe it would be a fair investigation without interviewing the employee (unless they decline)? I

The employer has no sound reason to decide/have a view upon a disciplinary measure to be imposed without an investigation (as you propose) and then a disciplinary hearing. This can't possibly happen on the same day as the alleged incident. Certainly they must not decide "then change" a decision, as you propose, after a hearing, that's just an absolute no. There should be no decision until after all the facts are known, no pre-judgement whatsoever.

I am a qualified HR professional and to be honest I am extremely disheartened by the way many HR staff just ride roughshod through the process without any professionalism or, just basic humanity and decency. It's not hard to do it correctly and people shpuld not lose their jobs, sometimes their livelihoods, without doing things professionally.

I have unfortunately been involved in many cases where employees have lost jobs but have always guided and ensured, that every attempt was made to prove innocence as equally as guilt ... which is the true measure of a good disciplinary procedure.

ByQuaintAzureWasp · 07/03/2025 22:37

Lovelysausagedogscrumpy · 07/03/2025 17:46

If it’s gross misconduct or gross insubordination they absolutely can be sacked on the spot. It sounds as though what happened in the meeting is sailing close to the wind and there will be plenty of witnesses to the behaviour. If the employee has received verbal warnings before, as appears to be the case, the company can absolutely issue a written warning.

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Not true, "legally" being the important word.

I'm just advocating for doing things legally and professionally ... not an illegal kangaroo court, which obviously does happen.

ByQuaintAzureWasp · 07/03/2025 22:43

senua · 07/03/2025 17:03

You can't be legally sacked on the spot. You've got to have an investigation, disciplinary hearing, right to be accompanied and right of appeal
Or the company, armed with OP's evidence, can say "what do you want on your CV - a disciplinary / sacking or a resignation? Your choice ..."

Then they claim constructive dismissal, unless you've a settlement agreement.

ByQuaintAzureWasp · 07/03/2025 22:50

Lovelysausagedogscrumpy · 07/03/2025 17:46

If it’s gross misconduct or gross insubordination they absolutely can be sacked on the spot. It sounds as though what happened in the meeting is sailing close to the wind and there will be plenty of witnesses to the behaviour. If the employee has received verbal warnings before, as appears to be the case, the company can absolutely issue a written warning.

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Incorrect. What you are proposing is Illegal and why companies pay out thousands at employment tribunal.

I taje it yiu have no training or qualifications in employment law/HR.

ALovelyShadeofMauve · 07/03/2025 23:55

Can none of you people see that you are massively derailing the OP’s thread with HR policy/employment law points she cannot possibly address?

Motorroller · 08/03/2025 01:39

Fullofpop · 07/03/2025 19:46

Obviously a quiet work day for you allowing lots of mumsnet time!

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I’m sure OP can manage her workload accordingly.

Motorroller · 08/03/2025 01:40

ALovelyShadeofMauve · 07/03/2025 23:55

Can none of you people see that you are massively derailing the OP’s thread with HR policy/employment law points she cannot possibly address?

It’s the ‘I’m an HR professional’ Olympics. Happens on every employment related thread.