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Original poster

Teams meeting - side chats and smirking

153 replies

SarkyMummy · 07/02/2025 12:56

Advice please. In a teams meeting today two of my ‘subordinates’ appeared to be messaging each other on the side - both were laughing/smirking at the same time whilst I was speaking, whilst looking at their screens. I have concerns about the performance of one of them and whilst the second is performing well, they are resistant to taking direction from me. We’re working on a tough project and I don’t feel great about my leadership of it recently so this happening has made me feel really paranoid. How do I address the apparent behaviour professionally? I do feel like I need to nip it in the bud. Very grateful for any thoughts!

OP posts:
thehorsesareallidiots · 07/02/2025 13:04

I wouldn't. You won't get anywhere trying to police their facial expressions in meetings. Focus on the behaviours which are the actual problem i.e. the underperformance of one and the resistance to direction of the other.

Did they contribute to the meeting as expected? Did they complete any necessary actions before/after? Focus on what matters and don't undermine your own case by bringing "smirking" into it.

WonderfulUsername · 07/02/2025 13:04

My thoughts are you need re-training, not advice from a parenting website.

And also that I hope they're unaware you refer to them as subordinates.

This isn't Victorian England.

Can you consult your manager?

DragonfliesAboveYourBed · 07/02/2025 13:07

I agree with @thehorsesareallidiots. I wouldn't be trying to say to people that their faces during a call aren't what you want.

Deal with the performance issues, and their engagement in the call if that was an issue.

NigelHarmansNewWife · 07/02/2025 13:10

Disable the chat function if it's being misused? Ask IT how to obtain a transcript of the meeting chat? Depends on your organisation's policies, but no comms on a company system can be considered always to be private, i.e. where there are concerns about conduct and performance management can, and do, access them. Be aware that people have side chats in WhatsApp, etc too.

But, if you have concerns about the performance of a team member then you need to address this, with guidance from HR if needed.

Have regular one to ones with all team members to monitor workload, performance and address any issues on both sides.

chakrakkhan · 07/02/2025 13:11

subordinates?

AnSolas · 07/02/2025 13:12

Do 1 on 1 housekeeping
Noticed he was distracted
Professional standards so focus on presenter
Dont be rude It is distracting other participents
Slows down the meeting
Risk of missing points

Dont assume that they were communicating with each other.
Dont get drawn into a debate
If he has a point to add it is made to the meeting as a whole.

Closing point is that if it happens again
you will stop the meeting and ask him to explain his actions,
issue a warning if needed, and
if the lack of focus continues remove him from the meeting

SecondMrsTanqueray · 07/02/2025 13:14

Subordinates? That you refers to them as this might be telling…

I’d do nothing. It’s a fact of modern life that people have side conversations in teams meetings. We do it all the time, and I’m a senior manager 😂

rookiemere · 07/02/2025 13:15

Personally I would ask on the call, but then I have a good relationship with my direct reports and wider team and view them as colleagues rather than subordinates.

Also I would say if you think you could have done something differently/better say so. Far better you say it and say what you will do differently going forward than they say it behind your back.

I carry out monthly retrospectives with my team and it's important that I feed into them as well.

Original poster
SarkyMummy · 07/02/2025 13:22

Thanks all. I appreciate the constructive advice.

I would just point out that the use of the term ‘subordinates’ was in inverted commas to indicate it was being used with an acknowledgment of the connotations.

OP posts:
ThirdStorm · 07/02/2025 13:25

This happened to a colleague of mine, he was briefing his team about an important project and felt some of them were not giving him their full attention. He spoke to them both separately about how they appeared, how disruptive and rude it was. Explained his expectations moving forward. He then briefed the whole team about MS Teams etiquette. He is fully prepared to discipline for rudeness and poor etiquette if it happens again.

Glowingworms · 07/02/2025 13:28

Agree I would be having a conversation about people appearing distracted in meetings and you expect full attention

You are likely to be able to access their teams messages, but unless there's something significant in it, you're unlikely to be able to do anything with just chatter eg I can't wait for lunch, this meeting feels like it's been 7 hrs

WonderfulUsername · 07/02/2025 13:32

SarkyMummy · 07/02/2025 13:22

Thanks all. I appreciate the constructive advice.

I would just point out that the use of the term ‘subordinates’ was in inverted commas to indicate it was being used with an acknowledgment of the connotations.

It doesn't matter what punctuation you wrapped around it, it's an outdated word that belongs firmly in the past.

They are your colleagues, who just happen to report to you/be managed by you.

Cattery · 07/02/2025 13:34

I don’t think they like you OP

hopeishere · 07/02/2025 13:39

Side chats in teams are the only thing that keeps us going!!

As a manager you have to take in the chin the fact people get exasperated with you. It's tough but not personal.

There's some good advice here.

JimHalpertsWife · 07/02/2025 13:40

Par for the course I'm afraid - it's not u common for reports to bond over the annoyances they have with their line management.

Huckyfell · 07/02/2025 13:42

chakrakkhan · 07/02/2025 13:11

subordinates?

I call my subordinates minions, is that allowed?

WonderfulUsername · 07/02/2025 13:43

Huckyfell · 07/02/2025 13:42

I call my subordinates minions, is that allowed?

Show quote history

Just don't mention bananas.

MrsTerryPratchett · 07/02/2025 13:45

JimHalpertsWife · 07/02/2025 13:40

Par for the course I'm afraid - it's not u common for reports to bond over the annoyances they have with their line management.

And bonded employees helps job satisfaction so there is an upside of sorts.

boulevardofbrokendreamss · 07/02/2025 13:46

If they are using messaging for that they are being pretty stupid. Go through our People / HR Team and request the transcript from IT. Don't act on assumptions. Do you need more managerial training?

DragonfliesAboveYourBed · 07/02/2025 13:47

I call my subordinates minions, is that allowed?

I used to work at a very small company and the owner brought his young daughter (4ish yrs) in one day just to pick something up. She loudly said in the open plan office "daddy, are these your minions?"

He was mortified.

JimHalpertsWife · 07/02/2025 13:47

boulevardofbrokendreamss · 07/02/2025 13:46

If they are using messaging for that they are being pretty stupid. Go through our People / HR Team and request the transcript from IT. Don't act on assumptions. Do you need more managerial training?

Transcript of what? Their side chat? Bit "Big Brother" isn't it?

DragonfliesAboveYourBed · 07/02/2025 13:49

Transcript of what? Their side chat? Bit "Big Brother" isn't it?

I agree. I know office chats aren't private, but "I saw my team member smiling so I need to know what was said" is a bit ridiculous.

MrsTerryPratchett · 07/02/2025 13:50

Go through our People / HR Team and request the transcript from IT.

A couple of people have suggested this. Don't. If employees want to have a bit of a bitch and moan, why not? If they are negative about the job, address that. But no one likes Stasi-level control from bosses. One of my team came to me and told me another person (who I don't supervise) said some less than complementary stuff about me. I hold him that the other employee does his job, is always respectful to my face, and I didn't care. And he could choose just not to engage with it.

Deal with team morale, negativity, job satisfaction. But don't spy on people to get them in trouble.

boulevardofbrokendreamss · 07/02/2025 13:50

If you don't want it to be picked up don't commit to putting it out there. Simple policies. No Big Brother.

JimHalpertsWife · 07/02/2025 13:52

Also it could quite possibly not be about you at all.

Maybe Thing 1 and Thing 2 were talking about annoying Brian in accounts before the meeting, then during the Teams call Thing 1 gets a shitty email off Brian so sends a screenshot to Thing 2 of it saying "ffs am I really meant to take advice off a man who cannot work his desk chair?"

Or something along those lines.