Teams meeting - side chats and smirking

[SarkyMummy]

Advice please. In a teams meeting today two of my ‘subordinates’ appeared to be messaging each other on the side - both were laughing/smirking at the same time whilst I was speaking, whilst looking at their screens. I have concerns about the performance of one of them and whilst the second is performing well, they are resistant to taking direction from me. We’re working on a tough project and I don’t feel great about my leadership of it recently so this happening has made me feel really paranoid. How do I address the apparent behaviour professionally? I do feel like I need to nip it in the bud. Very grateful for any thoughts!

BAH HA HA!

I agree that you shouldn't write anything on an office chat that you don't want seen by anyone else.

I also think that requesting to see the transcripts because you think you saw someone smiling/hiding laughter on a call is ridiculous.

?? Their chat you mean? You won't get it unless you've instigated a disciplinary and have specific reason for the request.

Instead of trying to control how they feel about you, you might be better off working on your own leadership skills.

The way you've talked about them and yourself raises a few red flags tbh.

They aren't your 'subordinates', they're your team. You don't 'direct' them, you work with them.

This is completely draconian and ridiculous.

Unless I was concerned about something relating to gross misconduct, I would never expect to be able to see my teams’ chats.

Can people really not tell the difference between smiling and smirking? There’s a world of difference in how it looks and the emotion it conveys.

I’m going against the grain here but if two people are laughing/smirking in a Teams meeting with their manager, not focusing on what’s being said in the meeting, one of them is underperforming and the other doesn’t like taking direction, there’s a problem. It’s massively rude to have a private laugh on-screen with another person during a meeting. If nothing else it shows you’re distracted from the meeting.

I don’t agree with heavy handed measures to deal with it, but I do think the OP is being unfairly given a hard time here, because I don’t think these people’s behaviour is OK or benign - they’re being unprofessional and probably trying to undermine her.

Microexpressions are rude, also extremely unprofessional (borderlining bullying) in the workplace. My company actually provides a training course on this!

Might be best to sit everybody involved down, with your manager (as the middle person) to talk it out. Your staff most likely have a problem with you based on their conduct, and you have a right to know what the problem is and a chance to correct any misunderstanding/behaviour on your part.

Microexpressions are involuntary so I don't know if your training was a bit shit. How can something fleeting and involuntary be bullying?

If you don't want someone to feel contempt for you as a supervisor, the best route is to not be contemptible. Leadership is hard. And some people won't like you. You address performance, not popularity.

Spot on 👏👏

If was was the OP's 'subordinate' and she pulled me up on involuntary expressions, I'd refuse to switch my camera on in future.

Microexpressions are involuntary.

Teams records everything, get access to it and check?

That said, everyone has side chats in teams, I hate it, but people do

Holding the meeting in person would stop them from doing this.

Isn't this basically punishing people for thought crimes?

Microexpressions are physical signs of brain activity which is way way way different from laughing out loud in a meeting.

And people are allowed to think freely in any job.

But congrats and hats off to the HR person who managed to add that to their KPI.

And managing the she/he looked at me funny.

If it was me I'd say 'mate, it's really obvious you're having side chats. I find it a bit rude to be honest, and disrespectful. Can you rein it in?'

360 job reviews might as well.

The more you try to control them and treat them like children, the more pathetic you'll look. You're a leader. This is part of it. You can't come down on people because they hurt your feelings without - very rightfully - losing all credibility.

I think any Union worth its salt would be all over that, if indeed they're part of one.

I don't know how many people you have in your team, but at least two of them are feeling completely demotivated by your management style and based on this you sound very controlling and micro-managing. You not feeling positive about your leadership skills is a sign you need some support, not that you need to be more overbearing.

How much management training did you get before taking on this role?

put one on PIP and replace them shortly afterwards

Completely agree with this. In my team we used to have one teams chat that was us but not our old boss. When I took over that one went silent - which means they must have a new one for the moans they don't want me to see! I do relate to how self conscious you feel in a meeting where people are clearly side-barring, but I do think it's par for the course and not personal. That's assuming it's an internal team meeting: I would feel, and act, quite differently if there were other stakeholders there.

They wouldn't. It's software bought and paid for by the company, there is no reasonable expectation of privacy, everything is logged. and I mean everything. Their boss (OP) can just ask for it from IT.

But they are subordinates. It's a perfectly acceptable term for grown ups.

This. I would only start digitally spying on members of my team if I genuinely thought we had an issue that might lead to their dismissal. For anything else I wouldn't wreck the relationship like that.

'Subordinates' is an odd word to use in this day and age. They're colleagues. Could this be why they don't like you very much? I wouldn't confront them over this, but talk to them individually about their strengths and weaknesses in their appraisal and what you, and others, can do to improve their performance (if it's lacking). Then get yourself on some good leadership / assertiveness course. Can your company arrange that for you?