My boss reprimanded me and some of my other coworkers for avoiding a smelly coworker.

[joel666]

I am a 34 year old male and i work as a web developer. I am fairly good at it my work and get along with most other coworkers.

But there is this one coworker that started 2 months ago. I will refer to him as tom.

Tom is good at his job but there is problem with him.

Ever since i met him for the first time, he always had a strong stench to him. His odor is a mix of weed and unwashed body odor and on top of that, his breath smells really bad.

But i always tried being polite but me and some of my other coworkers who also noticed how bad he smells avoid him but we tried not to be rude about it.

For examples. When tom would sit near us, my coworkers and me would tell each other "why don't we go seat over there. This table is a lot cleaner. Why don't we use this computer instead. This one is kinda slow. When you come back from the bathroom, join us on that other table next to the window.

And when we would be in the lunch break room, we would stand there, wait and see where tom would sit and we would make sure not to sit next to him.

But on the bad luck that he would sit right in front of us, i would cover my nose with my hand. And my other coworkers would do the same.

But again we try not to show our disgusts. We don't gag or make any disgusted facial expressions.

But just a week ago, our bosse called me into his office and he tells me that tom feels excluded and me and the other coworkers are creating a toxic work environment and my clique attitude will nog be tolerated.

I admitted to my boss why we avoid him. I told him that i cannot stand the stench coming off tom.

My boss argued and said this is disrespectful and he could very well have a health condition that causes him to smell unpleasant.

My other coworkers later told me that they also got reprimanded.

How would you deal with this ? Health or not, i cannot stand smelly people. I try not to be rude but when someone smells bad my first instinct is to avoid them.

Have a chat with your Boss & explain why you avoid this person. Ask him if he can have a word & if it is a health issue then the colleague should be speaking with his Dr about it. You don't sound like you're bullying him at all. Why should you have to sit near someone who smells bad?
If nothing changes after you speak with your boss then next time your Colleague sits near you ask him quietly, 'Do you smoke weed by any chance, Coz I can smell it when you're near me. You'd best be careful coz if Boss smells it you could be in trouble' Say it as if you're concerned he'll get a telling off from his boss & you're looking out for him.

i see the @joel666 hasn't come back so wonder if the story is true but

I still stand with, Tom has no medical condition and should be told he needs to knock of the weed and have a wash. Whether by Joe or the manager. Someone has to tell him

And here is the problem: No one wants to have that conversation with him, so Op is acting like a teenager again and being avoidant in an obvious manner

"I didn't think he would notice." You're hardly 007 and being super cool about it. (I couldn't think of another example of cool sleuthing behaviour, lol.)

A lot of weed smokers and smokers in general, have this deluded sense that you can't smell it, it's like people who drink vodka .. nose blindness I think it's called. I'd ask my manager to say something or put a grievance in that you have approached the manager about it and nothing has been done and it is now making you physically sick.

I am with you on this one. There is no excuse for bad hygiene and it is very rare for the cause of bad body odour to be a medical condition. It is unacceptable for the team to be subjected to this but you have not handled this well. You should have reported the situation to HR and ask that they speak with the individual about addressing his hygiene. It is their responsibility to address the issue.
I have had this in the past. The individual smelt so bad it was impossible to be in his presence. A number of us raised this with HR and he was spoken to on the matter. The next day he came in smelling fresh and clean. He wasn't showering or washing his clothes. Whenever he let his hygiene level slip the conversation would be had again.

wait a second

a) smoking pot and not washing is not a disability

b) if this person is so disabled that they cannot realise the reek then they should be in someoen's care so they can live a hygienic life

c) OP did not mention the stinker had any disability and their boss didn't say anything about any disability when he reprimanded all the colleagues.

fabricating a rigtheous hypothetical so you can virtue signal is not a very constructive way to conduct a discussion

if a person who regularly stinks cannot be brought to civilised levels of coexistance in a workplace then they should be terminated.
if they get offended when asked to clean up and they decide to quit then I say good riddance.

you don't have a right to be filthy and impose it on anyone else

But it’s not just about people not liking a particular disability or health issue. That would be discrimination of course. It’s about the fact that EVEN WITH adjustments that the workplace cannot be made suitable to balance the rights of all staff whilst the disabled person remains in employment

I think we’re likely going to have to agree to disagree.

In OPs initial post he said Tom was a good worker, that’s kind of where that ends for me. If he’s good at his job and pleasant enough, that’ll do!

I am biased, and I am saying this with the benefit of now being in employment that isn’t terrible, but people “like me” don’t necessarily need to be out of work. I’d be an absolute waste of unemployment benefit, for example.

And it isn't Tom ...

We can agree to disagree if you want - but I’m right and you’re wrong.

“And there’s nothing you can do about it,” etc.

In OPs initial post he said Tom was a good worker, that’s kind of where that ends for me. If he’s good at his job and pleasant enough, that’ll do!

Whether or not he's pleasant enough depends on the reason that he stinks. If it's because he's a manky soap dodger with a weed habit then no, he's not pleasant enough.

A disability is obviously a different matter but management still need to deal with him because it's not fair on the rest of the staff

Gosh. What horrible person you guys are.

”I am not showing anything except I purposely sit away, move away and put my hand on my nose.”

Sure. Tom didn’t notice 🤯 What was the next step…invite him for a coffee and gently tell him that he stinks 🤷🏼‍♀️?? Get more people in your lil group to mok him. How old are you?

If you can’t work in an office environment. I suggest you find a work from home job.

Good luck

When I worked in an office I used to sit by someone who absolutely stunk - also a mix of BO, coffee breath and weed. When I was pregnant, it made me retch. His chair started to smell the same. So I can understand why OP and others acted how they did.

It is up to the manager to speak to Tom

This can and should be treated as a Management and HR issue. The responsible person needs to have a sensitive chat with your aromatic co-worker.
Years ago I had to deal with a similar problem: a well-liked & long-serving TA/dinner-lady/cleaner had a serious problem with pronounced body-odour. Colleagues, several of whom were her friends, brought the problem to me. I had to have "a chat" with her & that was difficult. But it had a very good resolution because she went to the GP & was referred to a specialist & the problem was solved. It is a difficult, sensitive & embarrassing topic to tackle with a person, but someone has to do it.

’Tom’ Has already been to see the manager, prompted by the behaviour of OP and his colleagues. The manager is hinting at the fact that he has disclosed a disability, so no, it’s not just a chat about the smell, it’s finding reasonable adjustment so that everyone’s happy.

Are you high?

He's not pleasant enough. He's so unpleasant that noone can bear to be around him. His personage is incredible offensive to others and requiring them to sit with him is an appalling abuse of employees.

Abuse, wow.

Nobody is required to sit with people who stink. It would be nice if they did, because you know - isolating people is unkind and he actually might be an alright guy beneath the stench. But this isn’t a playground, colleagues don’t have to be friends, and they don’t have to come to your next tea party.

There’s just also no need to be pointedly rude to someone whilst whatever is happening to deal with the issue, is happening.

Of course it's group based leaving him out and isn't a kind thing to do. I'm sure most of us have had smelly colleagues (oh and try working in a school after PE). Bit of Vicks under the nose, suck it up buttercup! Not pleasant but grimaces and ostracing can be controlled.

I think the "suck it up" posters have probably never worked with a very stinky work colleague.

Neither have I, but if it were to happen I would be going straight to my line manager for her to sort it out.

I wouldn't do what the OP and his colleagues have done.

I wouldn't have done what the OP has done, but I would have taken myself off for lunch elsewhere, and communicated by email rather than approaching his desk. And used vicks. Just done that independently rather than with others.

Nope. If, as seems likely, Tom has declared a disability (OP says manager has hinted at it) as the root cause, reprimanding him about his hygiene would be discrimination - it may have no bearing on the smell and if Tom’s smell is caused by a medical condition it needs to be handled sensitively and within the law. Anything else is asking for trouble.

Agreed. I still think some people are envisaging a bit of a niff and saying that you can, reasonably, put up with somebody who doesn't smell of spring meadows and roses.

It's when the cloying stench hits you permanently and makes you want to vomit all the time you can smell it.

Even if it is the result of a disability, the person should still do their best to mitigate the worst effects as part of their living with it, where they can. I know this from personal experience of years of living with disability.

For example, if you have IBS, you would surely accept that you have to go to the toilet more often and clean yourself up more thoroughly than a non-sufferer. You wouldn't just stand there and poo yourself, if it could have been prevented or cleaned up, and shrug that it's all fine because you have a disability/condition.

As someone who suffers with one of these medical conditions.
It does cause bad breath, I do smell unwashed (even after scrubbing my teeth, regularly attending the dentist, having showers up to 3 times a day, wearing freshly laundered clothes after every shower).

The smell cycles through all kinds of things, including weed. I have no explanation as to why, doctors don't know what to do with me and many like me.

It is the most horrendous MEDICAL condition that I have been accursed, so please don' t flippantly write that you don't 'believe' any medical issue causes those smells because it does.

Because of people being uneducated about these conditions I am not welcome in the workplace and my life is in pieces.

I just want to make people aware this sort of condition is often beyond the sufferer's control and they are trying everything they can to mitigate the smell that is emanating from them.

I needed to write this as there are so many people on here who won't consider that these medical conditions are real.

Oh gosh, I am so sorry I had no idea that some medical conditions resulted in all three. It is clear that most people don't. I have just gone back and read your posts. and now need to remove my foot out of my mouth