My boss reprimanded me and some of my other coworkers for avoiding a smelly coworker.

[joel666]

I am a 34 year old male and i work as a web developer. I am fairly good at it my work and get along with most other coworkers.

But there is this one coworker that started 2 months ago. I will refer to him as tom.

Tom is good at his job but there is problem with him.

Ever since i met him for the first time, he always had a strong stench to him. His odor is a mix of weed and unwashed body odor and on top of that, his breath smells really bad.

But i always tried being polite but me and some of my other coworkers who also noticed how bad he smells avoid him but we tried not to be rude about it.

For examples. When tom would sit near us, my coworkers and me would tell each other "why don't we go seat over there. This table is a lot cleaner. Why don't we use this computer instead. This one is kinda slow. When you come back from the bathroom, join us on that other table next to the window.

And when we would be in the lunch break room, we would stand there, wait and see where tom would sit and we would make sure not to sit next to him.

But on the bad luck that he would sit right in front of us, i would cover my nose with my hand. And my other coworkers would do the same.

But again we try not to show our disgusts. We don't gag or make any disgusted facial expressions.

But just a week ago, our bosse called me into his office and he tells me that tom feels excluded and me and the other coworkers are creating a toxic work environment and my clique attitude will nog be tolerated.

I admitted to my boss why we avoid him. I told him that i cannot stand the stench coming off tom.

My boss argued and said this is disrespectful and he could very well have a health condition that causes him to smell unpleasant.

My other coworkers later told me that they also got reprimanded.

How would you deal with this ? Health or not, i cannot stand smelly people. I try not to be rude but when someone smells bad my first instinct is to avoid them.

Well I feel a bit sympathetic as I've worked with a Tom. Unwashed, food on his shirt and tie (to his credit he dressed in a business like fashion). He smelled like he hadn't washed in weeks and had stains on his trousers that might have been anything. I was a leader on a adjoining team and actually got on with Tom quite well but couldn't bring myself to actually say anything to him. Managed to talk to him without inhaling through my nose somehow. Coworkers used to leave deodorant on his desk.

The department manager had a "man to man" with him and gave him one of those all in one gift sets with shampoo, shower gel etc. None of this worked.

Members of my team complained about having to sit near him and finally one older woman volunteered to sit next to him on the grounds that she was a heavy smoker and couldn't smell much any more so it didn't matter to her.

It was a real shame as he was a great guy in so many other ways. But we never got down to the bottom of why he was like he was.

It isn’t. But that isn’t enough for some people, and there’s no need to be rude to them.

It is. You've all behaved shit OP.

The adult thing to do would have been to speak to your boss and ask him to sort it out. Not act like a pack of bullies. Which you have.

Knock it off.

It is bullying if all the team is doing it. If it was just you, you might have got away with it unnoticed. The excuses you provided are rubbish. This was not the best way to handle this situation. You should have spoken to your manager and explained your workplace was unpleasant to work in due to a coworker’s odour and asked them to deal with the issue. Had several of you spoken up to your management, then they would have had to have taken action. Now you just look like a bunch of assholes.

FWIW, I have a very strong sense of smell and some sensory issues so this would also have been intolerable for me. I completely understand why you would find it so awful. You handled it badly though. It was playground shit. You’re a grown up now.

Those who are blaming OP clearly haven’t ever had to deal with someone emitting such a horrific smell. Most people can cope day to day with whiffs of BO/bad breath etc. Not pleasant but tolerable. People can’t be expected to put up with the overpowering stench along the lines the OP has described on an ongoing basis particularly in the workplace.

Tom is filthy and the manager needs to sort it. Not pick on colleagues who are subject to such anti social traits whilst at work

@Brainstorm23 was describing a specific scenario though - so your being on the end of the conversation about body odour isn’t really the same. Yes, it can be a result of mental ill health etc, but it’s up to the manager to manage that situation and refer the person onto Occ Health or whatever, not to effectively shrug their shoulders and expect everyone to shut up and sit in a stinking atmosphere for 35-40 hours a week. Managers have to manage everyone’s welfare at work, and being forced to sit in an office with someone with terrible body odour can have detrimental effect on performance and wellbeing.

The legal protection under the equality act doesn’t mean he can’t fairly and legally be dismissed by the way

Conspiring with others to purposely isolate one person is a choice. One that says a lot about your character.

Your behaviour was awful and I'm glad you were reprimanded for it.
I understand how awful it is having to work with someone who smells bad but you should have dealt with it in a professional manner by asking your manager to talk to him about it rather than doing things like covering your nose with your hand when he was sitting next to you or avoiding him in the canteen etc.

And no, I don't think it's acceptable for someone to come to work smelly but it needs to be dealt with tactfully.

Of course it’s up to management to deal with it, but the remainder of the team don’t have to be unkind and ostracise someone either.

I have eye issues. Have regular appointments at the clinic. The face to face eye pressure test was problematic because the person on the other side of the machine ate a lot of garlic spicy foods. I struggled not to gag every time.

I think someone must have had a word with them because these days the smell has gone completely.

Yes, I think a lot of people are thinking that it's just a faint whiff that's been picked up on and seized on to make him feel bad.

Whether there are genuine medical reasons or it's just absent personal hygiene, if it's bad enough, it's truly offensive and intolerable to have to be close to.

It isn't as simple as just saying "Oh, don't make a big thing of it" when it really does make you want to retch all the time.

It's not. I can't believe the ridiculous replies telling you that you're being a 'bully'. Do people think it would be better to sit and gag in front of him?

So if in OPs situation it’s a genuine medical issue that someone finds offensive, would you have them unemployed because you don’t like the impact of their condition?

If one person had the decency to have a quiet word with this man this could have been sorted.

No they don’t and I said that upthread - but it needs to be dealt with by appropriate support from management. The whole office shouldn’t be put in this position without the manager stepping in to help this person improve their personal hygiene.

As I manager I'd direct the issue and have the conversation with the new guy around personal hygiene. You have as much right as anyone to work in a comfortable environment

Some people don't/can't smell their own smells or don't react to them in the way others might. You are coming across as really immature, a quick Google or some life experience could have given you this answer.

In this situation I’m both a senior manager, and somebody with a health condition that can cause the issues discussed.

If my team were outwardly avoiding one of their colleagues, and making them feel like shit, I’d be incredibly disappointed.

Always baffled me teenagers trainers. My sons weren't born by the smell which was rank at times.

No because people will run and report you, say they're being 'bullied'.

@joel666 - you are NOT a bully, my darling, you and your colleagues have been dealing with this as best you can x

I agree. If you had brought it up you would have likely been reprimanded! Now the boss has forced it out of the lot of you you can’t win either.

Your problem is having a boss who is shirking taking this issue on. He needs to tell this guy his stinks.

We had someone like this in my old office (although not as bad as this!) and he literally made me throw up if he came too close when I had morning sickness.

I am very sensitive to smells and would gag is I had to go near a person that smelt like that. Some people are less sensitive, lucky them. The boss needs to talk to Tom and let him know, and tell him to sort it out.

If OP was quietly distancing himself I would agree with you.
But no, the first post says

"When tom would sit near us, my coworkers and me would tell each other "why don't we go seat over there. This table is a lot cleaner. Why don't we use this computer instead. This one is kinda slow. When you come back from the bathroom, join us on that other table next to the window"

You think this is the way to approach the matter in the workplace?
You don't think that's bullying? Would it not bother or upset you if you were treated that way at work?