Brother and girlfriend copying my business?

[jimbojool]

I’m feeling really upset and conflicted about something and could use some advice. My brother and his girlfriend have decided to start the same type of business as me—selling women’s fashion, shoes, accessories, and scarves online through TikTok Shop. I haven’t told anyone about my business I’ve kept it to myself and my family because I had a hard year and wanted to keep this to myself and work on it for myself by myself. I only ever shared details about my business with her out of courtesy, for my brother’s sake, so things wouldn’t be awkward in the family when they got together. Now, I feel it’s a bit disrespectful that they’re choosing to do exactly what I do.

I’ve worked so hard to keep my business, my ideas, and my suppliers private to protect what I’ve built. So for her to now step into the same industry feels really close to home, and it’s making me uncomfortable. It’s also hard because I can no longer be open about my business at home, even around my own family, as I feel like I need to keep everything guarded.

To make it worse, my mum—who’s also my business partner—has been helping my brother and even giving him advice, despite knowing how upset I am. When I told her how much this affects me, she said she can’t promise she won’t share certain things about my business with him. I find this incredibly hurtful and disrespectful, especially coming from someone so close to me.

It’s not that I don’t want them to do well; I’ve even suggested they try something completely different. They have no experience in this industry and, honestly, my brother doesn’t even care about TikTok or women’s fashion—it’s entirely his girlfriend’s idea. They’ve only been together for nine months, and while I do like her, I don’t see her as someone close enough to me to justify this.

The whole situation feels awkward and uncomfortable. I don’t want to cause a family rift, but I also feel like my boundaries have been crossed. How do I handle this?

I don't think there is anything you can do to be honest. It's annoying but it's not illegal.

Its a bit unfair of you to ask your mum not to help your brother, he is her son after all.

Keep as much of the business information to yourself as you possibly can.

When you say your mum is your business partner what do you mean exactly? What does she/did she contribute to the business exactly.

Are you making good money? Is there room in the market for a competitor?

If there is room for H&M, M&S, Primark, etc., I am sure there is room for more than one person selling clothes on TikTok. Don’t let it bother you, just carry on with what you’re doing.

Sounds like you need to find a new business partner if your Mum is going to share information with others.

This.

Yep, this.

Do you really compete?
Are all your ideas for your business your own, or have you take inspiration from other TikTokers?

It's unlikely you're directly competing. And everyone on social media selling is copying or "being inspired by" everything else. So just concentrate on your own thing and let your brother and his partner do theirs. If you can work together for mutual benefit, do it. Don't waste your energy trying to piss on their parade because it's the just other side of the fence from yours and you're letting their music distract you.

Is your mother actually your business partner, or is she just helping alongside you? Does she draw down money from your business. If she does then it isn't unreasonable of you to insist that either she stops sharing your nbusiness with your brother, or she withdraws from your business and you no longer share anything with her (although if she has put money in you'll have to come to an agreement about that and buy her out).

Otherwise, sorry but you are being very unreasonable. If you were making and selling a niche product, something hard to find, then them "copying you" would be unreasonable. But they (and you) are doing something mainstream that has loads of people doing it. They are doing nothing wrong - you don't own fahion retail!

Is it dropshipping? If so that's not a business, it's selling Chinese sweat shop tat on TikTok for 4x the trade price.

I'm seeing so much of this recently, people dropshipping shein and wish landfill on TikTok and calling it a business.

You're basically exploiting Chinese children for your own gain.

This. 99% of TikTok shops are disgusting and should be ashamed of themselves.

And aren’t the government about to start taxing all of this?

Well, having a business partner who directly assists a competitor is a bit daft - did she buy into your business?

And aren’t the government about to start taxing all of this?

Yes, and good. It's a dirty business practice, using products made via the unregulated labour of child slaves in a country where unions are banned.

TikTok is absolutely swamped with people selling cheap, tatty wholesale clothes.

They’ll have to have a good following and some personality to make any decent sales.

You can't do anything about your brother and his GF but you definitely need to stop involving your mother or any other person who might pass on your business details to them. There are no friends in business and you need to keep your suppliers and other details close to your chest and it is unfair to expect your mother to not say anything to your sibling.

There are plenty of different kinds of fashion and accessory businesses so there is definitely room in the market but you don't want to be doing the same things as your brother GF. Stop sharing any information with anyone going forward because it will only build up more resentment if they start using the same services and suppliers as you.

There is absolutely no way that one couple selling clothes on TikTok is going to affect your business of selling clothes on TikTok.

It's silly to think it would. It's not like they are setting up a pie shop in Larrimar.

It's always been taxed just some businesses don't bother telling HMRC about their extra income.

I run a retail business online, have done for 25 years and it's shocking how many people don't know anything about the legalities and tax duties. Many new businesses fail in the first year, partly because they don't do the right research.

@jimbojool obviously now that your mother has told you that she cannot promise not to tell them about your business (expressing her loyalties) it is time that she was shown the door from your business!

Thanks for your thoughts. I do get what you’re saying, and I know it’s not illegal or something I can stop, but it still feels very close to home and difficult to navigate emotionally, especially as it’s my brother and his girlfriend. I’m not trying to stop them from doing well; I just wish they’d gone in a different direction rather than copying what I’ve built.

I understand my mum wanting to support my brother—of course, he’s her son—but the situation feels more complicated because she’s also involved in my business. By business partner she has ownership in the business. That’s why it’s upsetting when she gives advice to them about the same industry I’m in, especially when I’ve worked hard to keep my ideas and strategies private.

What’s making it even harder is the crossover with my contacts and suppliers, which my mum is aware of. Things are starting to slip out, and that’s where it feels messy and disrespectful. I’ve kept this business very close to myself and only shared details with my family because I trusted them. I never thought they’d want to know the ins and outs of my business, let alone replicate it. That’s what feels like such a breach of trust.

On top of that, I’ve worked hard to build relationships with my suppliers, many of whom I know personally. I don’t sell cheap, mass-produced items or Chinese imports. I’ve put so much effort into creating something unique, and it feels unfair that they might use my work as a shortcut to do the same.

I completely understand your frustration but I think the issue is really your DM sharing what is actually confidential business information with your brother and his girlfriend. There's helping and then there's telling them everything and it sounds like she's doing the latter.

You say she has ownership in your business? What exactly is her role? Is she purely an investor or does she have an actual role? Is it a limited company? Her behaviour, whilst understandable if you're a family member, is actually completely unprofessional in a business context. Unfortunately this crossing of lines is one of the biggest challenges of mixing personal relationships with business ones.

You need to decide what to do and have a serious talk with her. It depends how business savvy she is as she may not understand that she's completely undermining your business by sharing all this information with a competitor. She's thinking like a mum rather than an investor/director.

I don’t think anyone would think it’s normal fur a business partner to go and advise its competitor AND give them details on how their business is working.

Your mum has no boundary there

just to get an idea of scale, what sort of turnover are you doing? if its very small, or very large, its unlikely to make much difference..

I’m yet to find anything good quality on TikTok shop. Everyone is selling the same stuff on there.

I’d review what sort of partnership you have with your mum.
I imagine she’s been supporting you financially.
But how much input does she have day in day out?

Because I’d scale right back on her involvement.

This.

Your mum can be a sleeping partner and investor if she wishes, but otherwise she no longer has your interests at heart. Time to find a new partner. Put a contract in place with a confidentiality agreement.

I'd be very hurt too.

Your mother shouldn't be sharing info. There's a clear conflict of interest there. She needs to keep quiet or step back.